


The Chosen Ones

by devnicole



Category: Black Panther (2018)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:41:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 72,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23247928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/devnicole/pseuds/devnicole
Summary: Princess Asha is the reclusive third child of King T’Chaka and Queen Ramonda. Happy and content with isolation, which helps her hide her darkest secret, she lives her life in the shadows. However, after a series of tragic events, she meets an equally reclusive chief, who makes her question everything.
Relationships: M'Baku (Marvel)/Original Female Character(s), M'Baku (Marvel)/Reader
Comments: 8
Kudos: 38





	1. Chapter 1

“You are not cold?” Ross whispered as they were escorted through unknown territory. He eyed her and her body suspiciously, noting the lack of a Border Tribe blanket huddled around her petite shoulders like the rest of small group of refugees. She rolled her eyes, still unclear as to how her brother’s friend even became apart of all of this. She supposed she could not even call him a friend. He saved Nakia, so T'Challa saved him, then Nakia saved him again and he somehow got roped into this new tragedy. She shook her head, trying not to think about him, trying to postpone her grief. They had a job to do. **  
**

Asha shared a glance with her sister, who turned to look at her with amusement peeking through her red, puffy eyes as they walked presumably to the throne room of this palace tucked in the side of a mountain. She supposed she did look crazy without the blanket, they certainly were not built for such harsh winter weather. She could see the cold air seeping through the thick, vibranium-infused blankets wrapped around her companions. But five minutes into their journey, she could not bother to keep up the charade that she needed it. The cool air against her skin felt good, comforting against the heat still boiling beneath the surface. “No, not really."

"Is it because of t-the… the…” he struggled to find the words to describe what he witnessed earlier.

 _The curse,_ she finished for him silently, knowing that was what he was thinking without saying. “Yes,” she answered shortly. The questions ceased as the coldness in her tone registered in his mind. She had no interest in rehashing her grief-stricken display from earlier. She partially felt bad for being so cold to the colonizer. He did not ask to be here. Admittedly, they were saving his life as their cousin would have had no issue murdering him. But that did not make their current predicament any easier for him. 

Asha’s logical mind understood why this journey was necessary, but she found it increasingly difficult to stomp down the urge to turn around and murder the man who sat on her brother’s throne. _Your throne,_ her subconscious reminded her. She ignored that, it was too soon. The mountain tribe could help them place Wakanda back in Wakandan hands but justice? Revenge? He could not provide her that and that was all she desired. She did not want to talk to him, offer him power or persuade him to help. She did not need help, she could end Killmonger’s exist with one flick of her hand. That was all she could think about the entire journey up the mountain. All the women had been too wrapped in their own heads to bother with needless conversation. On the cycle of grief, she was firmly planted in rage. She did not foresee getting out of it anytime soon.

She continued to trail behind the group as they entered the throne room, nodding at Nakia to speak once they were in front of the chief. Nakia pursed her lips before rolling her eyes and directing her attention to the giant sitting at the front of the room. Asha and Nakia knew that she should be leading this audience, after all Asha would be Queen should he choose to help them. However, she was not rushing into that responsibility, rejecting the inevitability of her future. Years of isolation taught her the value of being a wallflower, seen but not heard. And so, it was more of her nature to observe: the stoic soldiers standing around the throne room, the light snow drifting down outside the floor to ceiling windows surrounding them, and the yellow lights flickering in the darkness below. She breathed in deep, the presence of so many fires nearby overloading her senses. The smell of burning wood and ashes invaded her senses, she wanted nothing more than to follow her senses to their warmth, to comfort. But she knew she could not.

She ended her visual survey of this foreign location to turn her attention to the group, the man in front of her. She could not even kid herself, he was the most interesting thing in the room right now. She tilted her head as she looked at him, noticing that he seemed to look past her mother and only had eyes for her as well. Asha quickly diverted her gaze upon catching his eye, choosing to instead study the wooden carvings to her left. She did not quite understand why he was staring at her, she was not much to look at.

 _But he is._

She stole quick glances at him in-between looking at the ground or around the room. She marveled at his power, his confidence. She supposed she would be confident too if she held all the cards as he did right now, if someone came graveling to her palace for help when she had no reason or incentive to aid. They came to offer him the world, more power over Wakanda than a Jabari has had in centuries, and he was as relaxed as ever. He almost looked bored by them, body slumped back, legs spread wide as he sat. He was gorgeous. She did not notice at the ritual combat, the first time she had seen anyone from the fifth tribe in her entire life. But it was hard to deny it… he was beautiful. His eyes were deep and captivating. Something in them beckoned her to fall and never get up again. His broad shoulders and body sculptured by Bast herself made desire course through her, heat flaring in a way that was far too inappropriate for the setting. The panther inside her seemed to welcome it, soaking and relaxing into an emotion that was not pain and grief. He was a nice distraction from that pain, from her fears of what uprooting Killoknger would actually mean, from the impending weight of Wakanda. He was offering them physical sanctuary while unknowingly offering her a short reprieve from picking back up the bag of trauma she left at the bottom of the mountains. 

She shook her head. _You have a job to do. Now is not the time to lust after a man… particularly a Jabari. Besides, you have obligations down the mountain,_ her subconscious interrupted her musings and brought her back to reality. She sighed, reality was harsh, cold and empty. 

Meanwhile, M’Baku was just as captivated by the small woman before him, the only panther who hadn’t uttered a word since they arrived, the only one he did not know. He recalled getting a glimpse of her at his challenge, standing with Shuri and the Queen Mother. Even during the two seconds his eyes fell on her then, he could not deny her beauty. She unwittingly drew him in for a moment, distracted him from his passionate monologue. He did not understand why, he knew nothing of her, save her existence.

He inquired about her upon his return to Jabariland after the challenge. The Princess Asha. According to his spies, the woman was somewhat of a recluse, only leaving the palace to go to official events and those were never a guarantee. The rumors were that she was ill, body plagued with a series of ailments prohibiting her from engaging with the rest of the tribe like the rest of the Panther Tribe.

M’Baku tilted his head, examining her and noticing the way she stole glances at him then shyly looked away upon realizing he was still staring at her. The rest of the group and their reason for requesting this audience were forgotten.

 _She does not look sick to me. Quite the opposite actually… she looked extremely healthy._ Underfed perhaps but he knew that women were preferred frail in the Golden City. Beneath her deep brown skin, he could see it was flush with heat, not pale and colorless like a sick person. There was something in her eyes that were mesmerizing, they contained both a fire and sadness he had not seen before. He knew part of the sadness was due to grief, the loss of a beloved brother. But he wondered if there was something deeper than grief festering beneath the surface of the windows to her soul. He wondered if, when they realized their grief was merely temporary with the gift they brought him, that sadness and pain in her eyes would dissipate or remain as strong as ever.

 _Speaking of which… don’t you have a job to do aside from lusting after a lowlander?_ His subconscious reminded him. He quickly straightened up as Nakia offered the heart-shaped herb to him, offered him the mantle of Black Panther. Part of him wanted to accept, who wouldn’t? It is what he had longed for days prior. A lesser man would. But he was not a lesser man. He was one of honor first and he knew lies were not the way to seek power.

He stood and told the group to follow him. He ignored the confused looks on their faces for he knew he was leading them to hope, to the end of their grief.

***

The young Wakandan Princess knew she should not go ambling around alone at night in a home that was not hers. But restlessness kept her awake and alert. Asha stole a quick glance at her younger sister peacefully sleeping in the guest bed next hers. She scribbled a quick note, letting the young girl know where she was just in case she woke up to find her bed empty. After a day like today, she knew Shuri would not appreciate the worry. 

She passed by her brother’s room and considered stopping by, knowing he would not be sleeping. One small thing the two siblings shared, their nighttime restlessness due to their ability to last days with no sleep. She could get the energy she needed to survive the battle to come tomorrow morning without sleep. Thankfully for her, there was plenty to spare in a location with such unforgiving cold. But then she remembered Nakia would likely be there and she kept moving. Nakia… one of the two people they all owed their gratitude toward for saving his life, saving their lives and the future of the Black Panther. She was the reason life pumped through his veins and he was not still in the snow outside, the reason they had not lost a father and brother in a manner of weeks. The thought sparked a litany of painful memories. She stopped walking, leaning briefly against the wall. Her eyes clenched shut as she saw it again in her mind like a horror movie: her brother being mercilessly thrown from the Falls. If she concentrated enough, she could still hear it… she, her mother and her younger sister’s screams.

The smell of fire infiltrated her crowded, traumatized mind causing her to break free of the memories. Small wisps of smoke emanated from the small space between her palm and where it rested gently on the wooden wall. Asha tore her hand away quickly, noting the heat signature that it left behind. She shook her head, pushing out the negativity. Without _them_ , she could not control it. She needed to be stronger. She needed an outlet, someplace to calm down, to release the energy coursing through and heating up her body. She longed for the sanctuary of the training center, where she could release her tension away from judgmental eyes. 

She walked through the Great Lodge of Jabariland without much haste. It was her first time in the Lands of the reclusive Wakandans but she finally understood it. Beautiful was an understatement for the mountains. And it was endless, the ranges expanding as far as her human eyes could see. She understood why they left, why they chose this spot. If you were surrounded by such beauty everyday, what could the rest of this world offer you?

Her trek around the winter palace ended at an open door, which signaled it was not a private space so she took it upon herself to enter.

 _It appears the Jabari have an issue with all technology, even light bulbs,_ the royal huffed annoyed to herself as she groped around the wall for a light. Frustrated, a small voice whispered to her, y _ou do not need artificial light when you can just create your own._

 _You are not supposed to. You are here to ask for his help, a guest at his home and you think he will help him if you insult him by doing that here?_ Her conscious fought back with the devil on her shoulder, the devil that encouraged her to defy the rules her father put before her.

Her body seemed to agree with the devil, per usual, because soon her small hands were curled into a tight fist. She released it and lifted her hand to her face, small flames now encompassing her palm. She stared intently to get the flames to grow slightly to get the effect she wanted. They flickered in and out, dying in her hand for a moment. She groaned frustrated, knowing she still did not have real control over the flames as she wanted. She always thought of it like a panther inside her and right now, the animal was loose out of her cage and Asha had no real control over it. Eventually it seemed the panther decided to obey and the flames grew. Soon they swirled around each other gracefully until they were contained in a perfect tight ball, the bright colors swirling inside an invisible encasing.

She pushed the ball out and it floated away from her, dancing gracefully through the darkness as it slowly illuminated the space around it. Her hands repeated the motion until the room was bathed in the light and heat of her own making sourced from half a dozen balls of fire.

She smiled at them intently, a small wave of pride surging at what she could do, before using her hands spread the light sources out until she could fully see the entire room: a vast and breathtaking library. She stared, amazed, calling back to the endless hours she spent in the palace library. It was similar to the one at home, endless shelves stacked high to the tall ceiling with more books than humanly possible to read. Her eyes fell on a specific shelf by the window, a glint of her favorite color catching her eye. Her feet guided her to the random shelf, not knowing or recognizing most of the titles she passed along the way. Asha’s small hands picked up the weathered red book, immediately attracted to how its bright color stood out among the earth-tone books and dark wooden shelves around it.

“ _The Legacy and History of the First Chosen Ones,_ ” she read out loud to herself at a low whisper. Her fingers glided over the cover, noting the symbols of the four elements on the front. Her thumb lingered over fire. She took the book and the one next to it off the shelf and sat down on the small couch in by the fireplace of the library.

Before she started to read, she remembered. Y _ou cannot leave all of these here. Someone will see._ She quickly stood and began gathering the light around her. Each ball floated gracefully back to its owner, morphing into her chest like there was not bone and flesh in their way. She held one in her hand to save it, opting for a small reading light instead of lighting a fire next to her. Once she was done, she tossed the ball back up so it could suspend over her head.

“Your Highness.”

Asha jumped up unexpectedly, whipping around to come face to face with her reluctant host, her brother’s second savior. Her eyes widened in fear as she looked between him and the ball of fire suspended in mid air without a lamp or string to hold it above their heads. What was once a warm glow now felt like a menacing spotlight on her, on her affliction. 

“L-Lord M'Baku! What you saw… i-i-it is not what you think,” she stammered, mind freezing as she tried to explain the inexplicable events he had just witnessed. Fear gripped her heart, fear that he would throw them out, not agree to help when her brother made the official request in the morning. She did not know much about the Jabari, it was true. But her logical mind knew it was most likely that he was just as, if not more, intolerant of her kind than people at home were.

“It is not what I think?” his deep baritone asked suspiciously. She could detect a hint of annoyance in his tone. “Because I think you are a Chosen One. Or can every person on Earth create and absorb fire as you can?” He pointed at her hands, which were now emanating smoke and small flames from her palms, her body’s usual response to her emotions. She quickly clasped them together, forcing the fire to die out in her palms. She was more frustrated than ever now, anger at herself for destroying the one thing that helped her control it, helped her hide it. 

M’Baku was forcing himself to hide his excitement, his wonder and awe. He had yet to meet one chosen by fire. The legends said the Fire Ones were the most sacred of the Chosen, so rare that there was no one in the Lands with living memory of knowing one. It seemed no one had been bestowed that gift in generations, even though it would’ve been particularly useful in their harsh climate. It made sense to him now, the sparks in her eyes, why she walked into his home without a tribal blanket like the rest of them, seemingly content in the winter weather.

Here one stood and it was as mesmerizing as he envisioned and suspected. Even something as simple as the small balls of light she created. He could sense her power, all the beautiful and terrifying things she could do with that power.

“Please, Lord M’Baku. I am sorry. I should not… I should not have used them in your home like this. We are indebted to you for finding and saving T’Challa. I am going to put myself further in your debt and beg you not to hold this against us or tell a soul about this. Please. I did not mean to cause any trouble, I can head back down the mountains right now.”

His personal musings were cut short, face scrunching up in confusion. He finally took a moment to examine her: the way her hands fidgeted nervously, the slight heave in her chest from her panic, the way her eyes fell to the ground with her shame and guilt. He did not understand… she did nothing wrong but here she stood, acting like a criminal instead of a goddess. “Why would I not tell anyone? You are a Chosen One. It should be known, your great power, your unique gift.”

 _Why does he keep calling me that??_ She thought to herself, frustrated. She was not chosen, she did not earn it. That was the problem.

“Chosen one? Why do you keep calling me that?” She repeated out loud. 

“Because that is what you are? Jabari with your powers, they are the chosen, gifts to our people from Hanuman. I figured the custom would be the same in the Golden City? And why you chose that book.” He gestured toward the book on the delicate wooden stand by her body.

 _How progressive,_ she thought to herself.

“Um… uh no,” she answered, her shock and confusion at his response evident in her voice. “No, I have not heard of that before. The book… well I was just attracted to it’s color. But mutants are not considered gifts at home.”

His face pulled in with disgust. “Mutants?” He spat the word back at her with sudden disgust and anger. It startled her for a moment until she realized it was not directed at her but in her choice of words. “Why would you refer to yourself that way?" 

Every answer between the pair seemed to bring increased questions and confusion. "Because that is what we are? The powers are due to a mutation in our DNA. An abnormality.” The hardened scientist in her brain slipped out to give him the stock answer for why she referred to herself by a word she secretly despised. No, it was not factually inaccurate. But it was loaded, it was isolating and she wished people understood the sting of being referred to in such a way. 

“That word does not bother you?”

She bowed her head, hand rubbing her arm as she tried to appear as hardened and stoic as she could. “I am used to it, I suppose.” She knew by his pursed lips that her words were not as convincing as she wanted.

“So no one knows you can control fire?”

“Just our family… No one else can know. The Council… the country would not accept me if they knew.”

He opened and closed his mouth several times before settling on a simple, “I am sorry.”

“For?”

“That you have had no one to affirm your power. I am sorry you have lived your life in such darkness.” He stepped forward so he was also bathed in the light of her personal spotlight with her. The fire inside swelled, heat rising in her but unlike anything she felt before. Normally, moments like this felt overpowering as the panther became too large to contain in its cage. Instead, this just felt warm, light and satisfying. She did not need to release the energy in the space, she was content with simply existing with it and doing so with the man before her.

“Powers such as yours,” he held her hand in his with her palm up. She tried to tug it away, immediately afraid she would burn him. But he held it there, watching the small embers rise gently from the center of her palm as if he was seeing Hanuman for the first time. “Power and beauty such as yours deserve to be adored and worshipped.”

She breathes deeply, not knowing what to say, only hearing such affirmation from her siblings. But it felt different, coming from him. It filled her with joy and pride that she had never felt before. However, it quickly clashed with the 26 years of self loathing that had been installed and nurtured in her heart.

She pushed against his chest with her free hand, creating some much needed distance between the two and breaking their physical contact. The embers immediately died out when the warmth of his hand left hers. “That sounds like something out of a book… a fantasy. But it, unfortunately, cannot be my reality. I will retire for the evening now. Good night, Lord M’Baku.”

“No. You stay. Enjoy the book, bask in the beauty of the fantasy, which is our reality here. Good night, your highness.”

He spared her one last glance before walking out of the library. After he shut the door, he leaned against it, unsure of how to contend with the desire coursing through him or the beast of jealousy threatening to rear its ugly head. Two emotions on the opposite end of the spectrum and both directed at a lowlander, a woman he would not have given a second glance before.

As he walked back to the chief’s quarters, he just did not understand. He thought of all the hours he spent on his knees praying for a gift she considered a curse. Part of him simply felt bad for her, forced to hide your true self everyday. He grew frustrated at the lowlanders, frustrated that they treated people as if they were burdens instead of blessings. 

_And they think they are so much better than us? So much smarter. But they do not see, they cannot see,_ he thought as he fell into bed.

Sleep was not easy to catch for the young princess who dozed off and on in the library nor the chief who slumbered in the largest room across the wooden lodge. When she finally did rest, Asha dreamed of her panther. But unlike her usual recurring nightmare of the panther trying to escape a field of flames that spread and grew taller and taller until it consumed the poor animal, its punishment for existing, tonight was no nightmare at all. Tonight, the panther basked in a plain filled with embers, a nearby tree of panthers peacefully watching over her as she roamed. No flames to consume her nor imminent danger, there was peace and the promise that she could just exist. For M'Baku, his dreams were as mundane and normal as they always were, as he felt he was, but they all featured the same person in some way: The Princes Asha, with her eyes of fire and sadness. 

****

“Are you sure you do not wish to fight on the field?”

Asha shook her head, pushing down the annoyance of being asked the same question twice. She knew the question came from a good place, but frustration brewed beneath the surface nonetheless. “I already told you Shuri, no. Without them, I would not be able to control it. I could accidentally hurt you, brother or the Dora. You all do not need me and _this_ in the way. I will go and guard Ross.”

“But -”

“No buts. This is not about me, it is about ensuring the right person, a Wakandan, sits on the throne, and that our weapons are not sent around the world to create chaos. I know where I am needed in that fight and that is where I shall go.” She gave her sister an encouraging smile before walking across the Talon to her brother. She stood beside him for a few moments, looking out the window of the ship gliding toward their home.

“Try not to die on us, brother. No more herbs to bring you back this time,” she muttered with slight amusement. The joke earned a small chuckle from her elder sibling. He reached and grasped her hand, about to pull her into a tight hug before she ripped her hand away from his, cradling it close to her.

“What is it? Are you hurt?” He fired off, immediately going into protective brother mode. He grabbed her arm, ready to examine her hand and body for obvious injuries.

She shook her head immediately, “No, no… I just don’t want to hurt you. I destroyed them so it is unpredictable right now.” She flexed her fingers, alerting her brother to the lack of golden rings donning each finger on her hands. 

“How?" 

She sighed, not wanting to revisit it but she supposed she did not have a choice. 

_Asha did not hear footsteps as she let her grief consume her, throwing fire at the tree across from her. There was no break, no reprieve. As soon as fire left one hand, the other lifted throw another. She looked without seeing, all she could see was his stab wounds, his body thrown over a cliff like a rag doll. She had no idea where her mother and sister were, having broke away from the group when she realized she was losing control. She shook with rage as she grieved the one of two people who loved her unconditionally, who treated her as a whole person despite her curse._

_"Asha,” a low voice whispered, startling her out of her trance. She turned around quickly, hands and feet fully encompassed in flames, body slowly rising off the ground as she prepared to flee from danger. She lifted her hand back, prepared to lob fire at Killmonger’s henchmen after her. But instead all she found was Nakia and Shuri, standing bravely in front of her. Her mother cowered slightly behind them with Ross, who looked too amazed to be afraid._

_“She has burned through the inhibitors,” Shuri commented, noting the lack of 10 gold rings across her fingers, a set of inhibitors that work to suppress her powers. She did not agree with the use of them, despite creating them herself at her father and older sister’s insistence, so they were not as strong as they could have been. They were meant to limit her average emotional responses, ensure her powers were only used when she actively tried to use them. However, even vibranium could not stand up to fire for a sustained period of time. They held up to a degree and she was far past it. “She cannot control it.”_

_“Asha… you have to calm down. We have to leave here. Now,” Nakia called out to her. Nakia looked around quickly, praying Killmonger was too preoccupied with his first night as King to send anyone after them. Every rustle of the trees, night jitter gave her pause. They needed to leave and while she shared the young woman’s grief, this display was going to give them away._

_“No! Go without me. Get them to safety. I am going to kill him.” The irises of her eyes changed from their normal deep brown to a deep, blood red, signaling her rage and determination._

_“We need to go and take this to M’Baku. He can help us. That is the plan. T’Ch- T’Challa would not want you to put your life in danger to avenge him. He would want us to save Wakanda. This is the right plan.”_

_She floated back to the ground, the fire on her feet died out as she stomped toward Nakia. She shook her head, “NO! M'Baku,” she spat, “Cannot do anything for us! I will not run. I will not hide behind the Jabari who wanted to see T'Ch-,” her voice broke as her emotions began to take over, “him dead either way… W-w-we can’t j-just run. W-w-we have to…” her voice failed her as she crumpled to the ground, her rage giving way to sobs. The ground around her scorched black as she fell. She covered her face in her hands, paying little attention to the flames still encompassing them, which died out a few minutes later._

_Shuri quietly approached her, ignoring her mother’s quiet calls for her to not get too close. She was not afraid of her sister, she never would be. “Asha… Come with us. Please. The Dora and the Border Tribe have aligned with him, we need an army. The Jabari have one. We will get justice for T’Challa but t-this is the way. Trust me,” she stated through her own tears and sniffles._

_“H-h-he c-c-can’t be gone, Shuri. He j-j-just c-can’t.” Shuri wrapped her older sister in her arms, understanding the depth of her grief._

_The sisters shared one more moment of grief before Shuri pulled away, “We will m-mourn him but r-right now… right now, we must save Wakanda. He would want us to do that. That is our duty. We must go, now."_

_Asha nodded as silent tears continued their trek down her cheeks. Shuri helped her stand as she looked at Nakia, "You are sure about this? This is the way?” She wiped the tears from her eyes, trying to reel herself back in. She noted the sparks still leaving her hands and the burn marks from where the rings melted against her skin._

_“Yes, this is the way."_

He nodded in understanding, but she saw it underneath the surface, his guilt. He quietly whispered "fuck it,” and pulling his younger sister into a tight hug.

“You can never hurt me and we have told you, you do not need those. You never have,” he whispered to her as she buried her face into his shoulder. She did not believe him but she also did not feel like ruining the moment with such realities.

“Bast, I missed you brother. Scare me like that again and I will set you on fire,” she threatened jokingly.

“I expect nothing less,” he kissed her on her forehead before returning to speak with Nakia about strategy. She smiled at how close they were as they talked, happy the pair were finding their way back to each other. Tragedy is tragedy but it never hurts when people can find a rare moment of beauty among the flames. Nakia would be a good queen, this proved what she was willing to do for Wakanda. She hoped they stayed the course this time, she wanted that for both of them - they deserved it. Sadness crept into her soft smile as she thought about what they had, what she never would get.

She shook her head, shaking off the negative thoughts coursing through her. She returned to her seat next to Ross, who looked as if he was going to be ill.

“Are you ready? You understand what you need to do?” she asked him as they sat.

“Yes. You seem rather calm about all this? How are you not terrified?”

“There is little Killmonger or anyone can do to hurt me… I’m the monster,” she answered as they both watched fire appeared and dissipated in her hands. “And monsters have nothing to fear.”

****

When she and Ross stopped the last ship from reaching the border and escaped the explosion in the lab, they immediately raced to the Great Mound to join the fight. However, she was shocked to see the fighting had ended, Jabari soldiers helping round up the Border Tribe. She caught eyes with the chief across the fields. They soon found themselves face to face, Ross awkwardly standing behind her. 

“What is this? I thought you all did not concern yourselves with the drama of us lowlanders?” Asha asked. 

He chuckled, “Well it seems you all continue to need us to save you." 

She looked off into the horizon, a small smile on her face. "Yes… it seems we do." 

There was an awkward silence before he motioned for another warrior carrying a satchel to come up to him. "You..uh.. you left this in the library last night.” He pulled the red book out of her bag. Truthfully, she had not even gotten the chance to read it. She read two pages before closing it and dozing off in the library chair. She did not have the heart to read that fantasy, to learn how much affirmation she could have gotten in this life if she was born just up the mountains instead of below. 

“Oh… well yes, it was not my home so I cannot just steal your books. We are indebted to you a great deal as is." 

"Well, I would like you to have it,” he pushed it into her hands. Their hands brushed and she felt it again, the heat rising. She did not understand how he had this much of an effect on her after one conversation. 

“T-t-thank you Lord M’Baku. And for everything else. Wakanda is in your debt,” Asha stammered, looking discreetly around the field for Shuri or Nakia, a reason to escape this man’s gaze.

“Perhaps she will find a way to repay me,” he responded, his eyes signaling that Wakanda was not the “she” he was referring to. He gave her a smile, the first one she had seen grace his features, before saluting her. “Wakanda Forever, your highness.”

****

Asha tossed and turned that night. One would have thought it would have been easy to rest, now safe in her own bed instead of on the run. But she could not quiet the memories. He was alive and well but she still saw her brother’s body falling to his death; he was dead but visions of Killmonger coming back to continue his reign of terror still filled her subconscious; and he was back tucked away out of sight but wishful thoughts of a certain mountain king still floated to the top of her mind. She could not quiet all of the thoughts, pleasant or otherwise, that competed for her attention. 

It was well after midnight before she finally dozed off, deciding that she required a break from the conscious world for a bit. However, her reprieve from her memories was short lived. The world had other plans.

She woke to the bright sun of a new day streaming into her room. She pulled the cover over her eyes and immediately fired off, “You have five seconds to close those curtains and get out,” angrily at the unknown servant who thought this was a good idea. The staff knew she hated to be disturbed in the morning and that they were not to enter her room without expressed permission for their own safety. 

“Is that anyway to speak to your king?” A familiar voice asked, slightly muffled from the heavy duvet that was wrapped around her head. She grunted, checking the time on her beads before emerging from her cocoon beneath the covers. 

“It is if my king has lost his Bast-forsaken mind. It is 7 am!” Asha argued. She was no stranger to early mornings but this felt criminal.

“Yes, well you need to get up and meet us for breakfast. The council meeting is in an hour." 

"Why on Earth would I care about when the council meeting is?” She asked frustrated. She did not sit on the council, did not belong in the meetings. 

“Because your attendance at weekly council meetings is now required by order of your King." 

She groaned. "No T'Challa… I can’t!" 

"Yes, yes you can! I will not tolerate you hiding in your own home, existing here like a prisoner. Father may have allowed and endorsed such a thing but not me, not under my rule.”

“It is going to be kind of difficult after years of saying I am basically on death’s door? How will we explain such a miraculous and random recovery?” She asked as she ambled around her closet for a suitable outfit to address the Council. 

“How we explain every other miracle around here…" 

"Shuri,” they both responded at the same time. 

She sighed, “Are you sure about this? Once we go down this road, we cannot go back. I cannot reisolate myself." 

He grabbed her shoulders. "Yes, I am sure. You act as if this comes as a shock. This isolation was going to have to end at some point, particularly with a certain announcement on the near horizon.”

She groaned, “Dear Bast, please do not remind me of that." 

"You know you do not have to go through with it? Father set it up but I can easily call it off. If it does not make you happy. I want you to be happy, Asha." 

"Yes call it off and turn the entire Merchant Tribe, the elder with the most power, against you? Father’s ghost would leave the plains and murder us both in our sleep. No, duty does not require either of us be happy. He is just as cursed in this as I am." 

” _He_ is not cursed. He is winning a prize.” 

She scoffed, “You only say that because you dislike him. Ask anyone who knows of my affliction and they will agree, he is not winning any prizes here.” 

“One, I dislike him because he does not treat you as you deserve,” she rolled her eyes. “Two, you must stop referring to your powers as an affliction. But either way, I will no longer allow this isolation. Father fueled this narrative, your desire to hide away. This is not how it will be under my reign. You are a member of this tribe and you deserve to be treated as such,“ he reiterated. "Understand?" 

She sighed, annoyance brewing. She did not want to change, she was content with the way things were, safe the way things were. She did not understand why both her siblings were so keen on changing her existence. Besides, she knew his words were empty. Not that he would not try, she knew he would. But to truly end her isolation, he would have to change hearts and minds, beliefs that her own father had amplified. He may be able to make her a public figure but he would never be able to create a space where she could be herself fully. She pinched the bridge of her nose, ultimately relenting because she could tell this meant a great deal to him. "Yes, my king." 

***

Asha walked into the throne room filled with nervous energy. She did not want to be here, did not understand why her presence was necessary when she had nothing really to add. But her brother asked and she would not refuse. She turned around at footsteps to hear Shuri walking in behind her. "Do you have them?”

“Yes, yes. I still do not understand how you expect to learn how to control it when you constantly use this crutch to hide it?" 

"I do not expect to control it,” she snapped, snatching the box out of her sister’s hand, tired of hearing the same lecture over and over again. “If I had a choice I would get rid of it. And this is the closest I am going to get to that at the moment. Are they stronger than last time?”

“Yes,” Shuri answered easily, she mentally patted herself on the back for lying with such ease. They were not stronger and she would have preferred not to make a new set in the first place. But if it made her sister feel better to believe that, then she was willing to lie.

Asha slide the rings on each finger, immediately feeling the effects, the panther being herded and locked back a tight cage. She breathed a bit easier, felt a bit more secure that she could, at least, make it through the Council meeting without any mishaps.

“Thank you sister. And I am sorry for snapping at you. You know why I cannot let anyone find out about this, I do not understand why you always insist on rocking that boat." 

"Because I am trying to flip it over. T’Challa and I both just want you to be happy… fulfilled. You cannot be either of those things when you hide part of yourself." 

Asha smiled sadly, a part of her appreciated her meddling siblings. And the other part wanted to scream at them. _Who are they to decide my life is not happy? That it is unfulfilled?_

But she did not get the chance to counter her sister’s point as the Council began filing into their seats. She took hers at the right side of her brother’s throne with Shuri next to her. Her eyes fell to her lap as she waited, not feeling like seeing the stares of the council, the unspoken questions. An elbow nudged her side causing her to look up at her sister. 

"Look,” she whispered, discreetly pointing across the room. She looked in that direction to find a certain chieftain. Shock fell across her face as she stared at him. They caught each other’s eyes, trading surprised but soft smiles before she turned her attention back to her sister. 

“What on Earth is he doing here?” She whispered back. Shuri only had time to shrug before their brother entered and started the meeting. 

“Welcome all. First order of business, we are excited to welcome the Jabari back into the fold of Wakanda. Lord M’Baku will now have a seat on the Tribal Council and the Jabari will have the same protections and privileges of all the tribes of Wakanda. You had a proposal you wanted to present Lord M’Baku?" 

M’Baku nodded, sitting up straighter in his chair as he addressed the King. "Thank you King T’Challa. While we are open to forging this new path with you and the rest of Wakanda, many of my people fear what joining will mean, what integrating our two cultures will mean. And so, I would like to propose the Jabari have an intermediary, a person from the Golden Tribe who can help make the transition smooth. It will go a long way in showing the tribe that you all care about our customs, our ways." 

T’Challa nodded, "That seems reasonable. I can dispatch someone to fill that role -" 

"Actually, I was hoping the Princess Asha could do so. She is a member of the Golden Tribe, the people will see it as having direct communication with the King, it will make them feel heard and valued." 

All eyes turned to Asha who looked as confused as ever. _Why on Earth would he want me? S_ he wished the ground would swallow her whole, or that she could burst into flames and disappear. 

"If Asha is willing, then it should not be a problem. She is just recovering from some health issues, as you all know. Just reintegrating herself into her duties so we do not wish to overwhelm her.” Asha ignored the pointed stare from M’Baku, the stare that recognized the lies in her brother’s statements. 

“U-uh, yes. I am fine with it. Lord M’Baku, King T'Challa and I can discuss the details at a later time to ensure the needs of the Jabari are met while prioritizing my health. I-It should not be an issue. Thank you for the opportunity Lord M’Baku,” she stammered. 

“Well that is settled then,” King T’Challa answered. Asha attempted to get M’Baku’s attention for the rest of the meeting, mainly so she could ask him what the hell he was thinking with this proposal. Truthfully, an escape back to Jabariland sounded heavenly but she remembered how her body reacted to him. She did not need to be around him anymore than absolutely necessary. However, he seemed determined to avoid her gaze for the rest of the hour, looking everywhere in the throne room but at her. She sat quietly, the rest of the meeting - mainly about how to recover after Killmonger’s attack - was irrelevant to her. 

“Any other issues from anyone?” her brother asked, prepared to conclude the meeting. 

The Merchant Tribe Elder quickly raised her hand, “We have an announcement to make King T’Challa do we not?" 

Most did not notice the look of annoyance or reluctance pass across his face but Asha did. She almost wanted to laugh if the announcement in question was not about her life, specifically. 

"Ah yes, thank you Elder Shani. You all have expressed concern that neither my siblings nor myself are married or have heirs to carry on the Panther line. I am pleased to announce that my sister is engaged to Elder Shani’s son, Hasani. We will announce their engagement publicly in a month on the first night of the Festival of Bast." 

A short round of applause followed the announcement. Asha’s face burned at the attention. However, one set of eyes seemed to burn a hole in her face with more intensity than the others. She was not sure what she would find when she locked eyes with M’Baku but she was not expecting this: sadness, frustration, even a hint of jealousy beneath it all. 

"That is all. Thank you and Wakanda Forever." 

Most of the Council approached her afterwards to offer their congratulations, the last in the processional was M’Baku.

"Congratulations, Princess. I pray the two of you are very happy together.” The words almost sounded pained, forced as he addressed her. He looked around, realizing they were the only two left besides Shuri before he hugged her. He knew it was not appropriate, his mind screamed at him. But his body was compelled to be close to her, to feel her, just once before she was somebody else’s. 

Asha was startled by the display but almost did not want to let go when he pulled away from her. That hug held so many beautiful things in its 10 second lifespan. So much she longed to feel every day for the rest of her life. “T-t-thank you, Lord M’Baku.”

He nodded curtly before hurrying out of the throne room. She wanted to tell him to wait, to explain that this was not an engagement of love or passion, but one of duty. But she couldn’t form words, did not know what to say. Her feet followed after him before she stopped herself at the door frame of the room, watching his retreating frame walk down the hallway and away from her. She slumped against the wall of the hallway alone, sadness hitting her like a punch to the gut. She realized that the intimacy she just felt in those 10 seconds, she would never get to feel again. She thought of everyone’s well wishes, “I hope you all are happy together.”

She hoped so too but deep down, she realized that was another fantasy… she knew they wouldn't be. 


	2. Chapter 2

The soft clicks of Asha’s sandals filled the silent halls of the Wakandan palace as she walked toward her brother's office. Her early morning summons left a sour taste in her mouth and a disgruntled look on her face at having to get up even earlier than she needed to for their meeting with Lord M’Baku; but she begrudgingly obliged her brother’s request. Dark clouds stole the natural light that would have usually provided the corridors with a warm glow causing the journey to fill more ominous than usual. She didn't understand what it was, her inability to shake this anxiety she felt since Killmonger. She knew it was just her. The rest of the country and palace seemed to return to business as usual since T'Challa reclaimed his throne. She, however, felt like everything around her was changing. And that was perhaps because, thanks to her siblings, it was. 

Though her life amounted to little more than an imprisonment, Asha had grown used to her simple, peaceful and quiet life cooped up in her room, the palace gardens or the library. A life as peaceful, quiet and mundane as the constraints of royalty would allow it to be, of course. There was little desire in her to change that and potentially destroy her family in the process. But now it seemed as though everyone else had other plans for her future, plans to make it the opposite of mundane, quiet and ordinary. 

_Has the power of King gone to his head?_ She wondered as she navigated the nonstop demands he lobbed at her as of late. It seemed as if, in addition to the powers of the Black Panther, T'Challa had another superpower: the ability to know when Asha had more than five minutes of alone time. She could not retreat to her bedroom for long before he was calling her to review treaties and paperwork, go over official requests from the Council or citizens as part of her new role as "political adviser to the King." She didn't understand why he was going to such lengths for a fake position, something that she knew only existed to make her feel valued and included.

Her smile brightened when she turned the corner to see Okoye outside of T'Challa's office. "Good morning, General."

"My princess," Okoye nodded and saluted her before her body relaxed out of its usual rigid stance and a small but clear smile fell on her features. "He is expecting you."

"Thank you," Asha smiled. "Oh wait, I need to check with Nakia but you are still free for girl’s night after the state dinner, yes?" Asha laughed lightly at Okoye’s look of disgust at the phrase "girl’s night." But it had become their tradition over the years, the group would get together after official events and parties to update Asha on the night's events, any new gossip and drama. She knew Okoye found the name and custom somewhat childish but she was a constant at the gatherings nonetheless.

"Of course, I'll be there."

"Perfect, have a good day, Okoye," she said before opening her brother’s office door. Asha truly valued the relaxed and loving relationship she shared with Okoye. She was cold to almost everyone except the Royal Trio but she always seemed to have an especially soft spot for Asha. Asha was blessed to have big sisters in her and Nakia, people outside of the Golden Tribe to turn to when the solitude transformed from sanctuary to prison.

Her brother’s back was turned to her as she approached his desk.

"If your idea of being king is just dragging me out of bed then perhaps we should have left Killmonger in charge?"

He turned to offer her an eye roll and a playful glare, "Too soon sister... too soon. My wounds have barely healed."

She lifted her hand in surrender before starting to sit down in the chair across from him.

"No, don't sit! We are not staying, I have something to show you." He ushered her back out of the door and into the hallway.

The journey was quick, literally two doors down the hall to an office near his.

"The reason for this early morning meeting is to show you this," he said as he opened the door to a spare office. Asha smiled at the childlike enthusiasm and excitement in his eyes. And so, she tried her best to hide her confusion when she looked around at the decorated office. It was beautiful, clearly he put a lot of effort into its decoration: the red and gold decor and gold-trimmed office furniture. But still, Asha did not understand why she needed to be there for this.

"This is nice! Will this be Nakia’s office?" She asked as she looked around the room, highlighting the only logical purpose for using the space. "Shouldn’t you have decorated it green though? For the River Tribe? Though it is the thought that counts I suppose. But next time, ask for my advice earlier." The office was beautiful, yes, but certainly not Nakia’s style.

T’Challa let out an exasperated laugh, "You are one of the smartest people in this family and are still the most clueless. This is not Nakia’s office, it is yours. Your favorite color, paintings of your favorite place in Wakanda and by your favorite artist, pictures of us and Shuri, views of the gardens, your favorite flowers on the table?" he listed, finally drawing her attention to all the things that would make this office for her and not her brother’s girlfriend.

"Wait what? I mean it is thoughtful and beautiful but why do I need an office?" she asked bewildered as she examined the space more closely, finding even more personal touches. There was a fireplace, which was not actually needed anywhere else in the palace. Little golden panther and rhinos found their home on the fireplace’s mantle. She even spied a picture of T’Challa and W’Kabi next to a few of the border rhinos, her favorite animal since a young age, on a side table.

"Yes, you have a real job now. You are cementing your place in the tribe. And as liaison with the Jabari and political adviser to the King, you need a real space to work. It requires an office. Shuri and I worked on it for the last few days, everything is reinforced with vibranium to make them fire-resistant by the way."

She snorted, "'Political adviser to the king?' The title and position you made up to make me feel included and important?"

"Every ruler has advisers, Asha. It is a new position, yes. But one with very real work to utilize your genius. You spent half your life cooped up in the library reading books. You know so much more than Shuri or I about our history, our allies and our enemies. You have a far better mind for politics than I… or baba, I imagine. A good king utilizes the people who know the things he does not. And so, as an adviser, I expect to see you in this office every day, understand?"

Asha rolled her eyes. First her father forced her into isolation and now her siblings were forcing her out of it. _Why is no one content with simply leaving me alone?_

"Yes, my king," she answered.

"Perfect. This is a good thing, Asha, I promise. Besides, I also want you to help me figure out how to undo the damage father has done, help me with a project... change public opinions ab-"

He was unable to finish when Alexis poked her head in. "Apologies my king and princess but Hasani is here to see you. He has been looking for you."

Asha's heart immediately sank, she lacked the will and energy to deal with her intended. However, she knew him well enough to know that it would invite further troubles to turn him away. "Yes, please send him in. Thank you."

She went to the small mirror and quickly checked over herself and her outfit, refusing to give him any reason to criticize something about her today. "Be nice, T'Challa," she whispered as she fixed the high pony her braids were in. She chuckled lightly at the look of pure disgust coloring her usually mild-tempered brother's face. "I will settle for a lack of open hostility then," she muttered after acknowledging his inaudible no.

Hasani wasted little time before barging into her office. He was aesthetically gorgeous, the epitome of the American adage: tall, dark and handsome. His face was pulled into a permanent scowl but he knew how to turn on the charm and pull out his award-winning smile when required. Aside from T'Challa, he was considered one of the most eligible bachelors in Wakanda. Women in the Merchant Tribe were in an Olympic-style race to gain his affections, to be the last one standing. His engagement to the Princess? It would serve as a deadly blow for some and a mere hurdle to jump over for others once announced. Their year-old relationship did little to curtail the women vying for his affection, nor had it stopped Hasani from accepting their advances.

"T'Challa," he greeted, not bothering to address his king by his proper title or salute. If looks could kill, the young man's soul would have been halfway to meet Bast in person. However, her brother quickly recovered and maintained his cool, understanding that Hasani wanted a rise out of him.

Hasani knew the two siblings in the Golden Trio despised him. But it was clear to all parties involved that he did not care. "Asha," he greeted her shortly. "I would like to speak alone."

"Uh, yes... of course. Brother, could we get a few moments alone?"

T'Challa nodded, "Yes, we have a meeting in 10 minutes in preparation for your trip and meetings with Lord M'Baku. Shuri has sent everything you need to get started to your tablet and beads." The hug he bestowed was quick and the head nod in Hasani's direction barely noticeable as he made his exit. Asha was thankful to him and Bast for the out her brother just gave her. She only had to suffer for 10 minutes before she had an excuse to get him out of her office.

"Lord M'Baku?" Hasani asked disgusted. "Why on Earth would you have a meeting with him?"

Asha sat down on the edge of her desk, "I am surprised your mother did not mention it. He is a member of the Council now and he and the King tasked me with serving as a liaison to the Jabari as they integrate into Wakanda."

"I don’t know why those savages would want to join nor why T’Challa would let them."

Asha’s face pulled up in frustration at his bias toward the Jabari. "They are not savages. Living differently and valuing different things does not mean they are less Wakandan. And that is the point of these meetings, to lea-."

"Very well. Just ensure it does not interfere with our engagement announcement. My mother has spent a great deal of time coming up with a plan," he interrupted her, seemingly bored by and uninterested in her new project and job.

Asha went back and forth mentally on whether it was worth it to inquire about this plan. She knew she needed to know the details, despite not being consulted on it in the first place. But she did not want to prolong this or spend anymore time with Hasani than she needed to prior to their marriage. She always thought that arranged marriages were primitive. For a country as advanced as Wakanda, she could not fathom why her father would essentially give her away when she was too young to choose or consent herself. And now she would never get an answer. Though she supposed she would be ungrateful to complain, she would not find someone to marry and love on her own, not in these circumstances. But she knew she was not signing up for eventual love and potential happiness. These were things a marriage to Hasani could never bring her.

To her father's credit, he pushed off their official courtship as long as he could, citing her "illnesses" and poor health. She knew it had far more to do with maintaining his lies than her happiness. But if her freedom from a second prison was the byproduct of her father's selfishness, she wouldn't complain. However, a year ago, Elder Shani demanded he stop pushing and her freedom ceased.

The early days of their courtship were complicated, proof that the web of lies her father had weaved was not sustainable. Everyone else knew it, that the web would unravel eventually... everyone except him. Elder Shani was never shy in spreading her doubt that nothing was physically wrong with the young princess, that her isolation or the delay of their marriage was due to something entirely different. She certainly wasn’t the only person across the country who conjured conspiracy theories as to what was actually wrong with her, being a mutant was at the top of the list. She was surprised that the charade lasted as long as it did. But she guessed the palace staff who knew the truth also knew that her father was not a ruler to be trifled with. Underneath his kind disposition, there was certainly a figurative fire and ruthlessness that most people knew to avoid.

Their initial dates and visits were brief and supervised but still pleasant. She enjoyed his company, was taken by his thoughtfulness and empathy. He seemed perfect initially.

However, after a small argument about her not wanting to go on a date outside the palace walls, Hasani confirmed his mother’s suspicions that his future wife was not sick at all. She was a mutant.

Asha hoped his mother would call off the engagement, she hated mutants after all. But instead, she realized that, for some, greed and power were far more motivating than hate. Shani promised to maintain her secret in exchange for more influence and power on the Council and the position of Commander of the Wakandan military forces for her son after the wedding. Asha supposed that was the silver lining... after being trapped in the palace most of her life, she was naive. But this was her crash course in how the world actually worked.

It took little time for Asha to realize that any hope that the pair could be happy together was gone, that he inherited his mother's bias toward people like her. Now, of course, she saw the red flags as if they were waving in a sea of white... no longer obscured or hidden. His controlling nature, his verbal and psychological abuse, his philandering ways. He treated her like the word mutant implies, like she was less than human. He made it abundantly clear that he would never love her, protect her, or affirm her as a husband should. That was devastating to her at first but like she had done countless times before, she quickly accepted her fate. No amount of prayers or tears would get her out of this one. The chains of her obligations were tight and heavy, restricting her in a dark cell with no hope of escape. She wanted to hate him, cast him as the villain in all this. And in some ways, he was. But he was just as burdened by chains as she was, both pawns in their parents’ quests to gain or maintain their grips on power. Every time she saw him, that was all she saw: them chained too far apart to be any comfort to the other in that dark room for the rest of their lives.

"Was anyone going to inform me of this plan?

"I am informing you now," he answered coolly. "First, I will be your date to the Caanan state dinner this weekend. You will attend my mother's birthday party the day before the festival and the week after the announcement, you will accompany on tours of the Merchant Tribe's provinces so the people can meet you."

"I-I was not planning on attending the dinner on Satur-"

"I was not asking," he snapped. "We are going. I need to begin meeting with heads of state. I trust you have something decent to wear? I can't have you looking like this on my arm. You should work out with the Dora before the festival, lose a few pounds."

_And there it is._ Asha knew it was coming, the harsh criticisms and snipes. Every conversation was filled with them. It never mattered what it was: her powers, her appearance, her intellect. Every conversation was a battle and since she was unable to use her only weapon, she always walked away with the wounds and bruises.

"I did not realize I needed to lose weight," she mumbled, looking down at her body. She tried not to let his words bother her, after all this was pretty commonplace at this point in their relationship. She could feel the panther beating against her cage, baring her teeth, body filled with the desire to attack the person hurting her owner. But she thanked Bast that the bars around the monster were thick. Killing her intended would not help her case much.

"Well, you do. And I assume you will wear those to ensure there are no issues at any of these events? Do not embarrass me."

Her eyes flickered away from his as the threatening tone of her last statement settled in her mind. Physically, there was nothing he could do to hurt her and he knew it. But emotionally, there was all sorts of damage he could cause and he knew that too.

Asha nodded, eyes trained on the ground. "Yes, I will wear them. As I always do."

"Good, I cannot have you revealing your illness to the entire tribe and dragging my name into the gutter with you."

"Yes, I understand. Is that all Hasani?" she asked quietly, desperate to get him out of her office, to be alone.

"Yes. I will see you on Saturday. Do not be late."

He got up without saying goodbye and stalked out of her office. Tears stung the back of her eyes as his words oscillated through her head. She lifted her eyes to the ceiling, refusing to let any fall for him.

_Useless… an embarrassment_

She shook her head, not wanting to contemplate all the times she heard those words before or fall down the rabbit hole of painful memories. She took a few deep breaths, trying to bring her emotions back to neutral. She didn't want T'Challa to see her like this, give him any more reasons to hate Hasani.

Once she felt more in control of the beast within, she gathered her tablet and walked across the hall to her brother's office. She had a trip to prepare for and time wouldn’t wait for her to get it together.

Truthfully, she was excited for Tuesday to arrive, for her return to the mountains for a more positive reason than evading death. She longed to be back there, to spend a few days wrapped in the beauty of the mountains again.

_And you get to see him again_ , the devil on her shoulder whispered. She wanted to shake those thoughts out of her head. It did not matter if she got to see him again, it was irrelevant. Particularly after the way he had been treating her since the last council meeting.

She and brother had conducted several meetings with the Lord of Jabariland in preparation for her journey and he had been cold to her at every turn. With each interaction, she was disappointed at the harshness and disdain in his words. She was certainly no stranger to cruel words or harsh tones. If they were currency, she would be richer than her brother. But she expected cruelty from people like Hasani... not from her - Well, she wasn't even sure what he was to her. Do two pleasant conversations with someone make them your friend? Your acquaintance?

She had no idea. _You know what you want him to be,_ her inner voice purred at her.

_But he can't. So why even entertain it?_ She asked.

She had been trying not to think of him in that way. Why lust after things you cannot reasonably have? It felt like a recipe for disaster to do so. Besides, lusting after him just made her appear desperate.

_Are you that starved for love and affection that you started having feelings for the first man who was remotely nice to you?_ She interrogated herself. That was pathetic, weak... a weakness she could not afford.

Only Bast truly knew why she wanted him so bad, but she would learn to get over it, to move on.

Her kimoyo beads broke her out of her trance, alerting her that she needed to head to her brother’s office. She learned how to live with disappointments, to accept things she could not change long ago. She could do it now too.

***

Tuesday arrived faster than Asha anticipated and now instead of being cooped up in her library, she was zooming through the mountains toward Jabariland. This is a far more enjoyable way to travel here, she thought to herself, thinking back on her first journey there on foot. She enjoyed the views as Ayo flew them toward the Great Lodge. Immediately Asha thought to the times Baba was out of the country and T'Challa and Shuri would take her out in the Royal Talon. They would fly around and just marvel at the beautiful landscapes of Wakanda: the rainforest, the rushing waterfalls, the vast sun-kissed fields, the snow-capped mountains. Every trip, they found a new hidden gem, a spot secluded enough for Asha to see but for no one to see her, the rare opportunity to experience the country she called home. The mountains were the one spot they couldn't venture too far into so now was her chance. She did wish Shuri and T'Challa were there with her. There first trip here was rushed and emotional, there was little time to soak in the sights. But selfishly, she liked that there would finally be a place in Wakanda she could truly experience first. She looked out the Talon windows at the forests to see a fresh blanket of undisturbed snow covering every tree.

"We are here, your highness," Ayo called from her position in the cockpit. Asha tore her eyes from the forest to her left as the plane settled on a small cliff. She nodded, a wave of nausea washed over her. Her anxiety settled in her stomach like a small ball as the end of their journey arrived. She was surprised at how quickly the ride transitioned from peaceful to nerve wrecking due to one simple sentence. Now instead of venturing farther into this winter paradise, she just wanted to turn around and scurry back to the comfort of her palace. The stakes were unbearably high for her... her first official task representing the Golden Tribe. She couldn't mess it up.

"Thank you, Ayo. See you in a few days." She motioned for Alexis to follow her down the ramp into the snow-covered cliff. The familiar smell of ash immediately invaded her senses and the cold air hit her hard initially as she stepped off the ramp. Her body quickly jump started its own heating system, her flames brewing beneath the surface causing the frigid cold to become pleasant within seconds. She felt bad disrupting the soft snow, hearing the soft crunch beneath her feet as they approached a small group of Jabari waiting for them. She regarded the young man at the head of the pack with great interest, controlling her facial expression to hide her disappointment that a certain someone was not a part of her welcoming party.

"Good afternoon your highness. Welcome to Jabariland. My name is N'Danna, I am Lord M'Baku's personal adviser. He regrets that he was unable to retrieve you himself, he is tied up in meetings this evening. However, he will see you in the morning for breakfast. One of our guards, Kide," he motioned behind him as a stone-faced young man stepped forward, "will be escorting you during your stay. Anything you need at all, please let him know. This way, your highness."

Asha nodded, "Thank you!" She offered him a soft smile before following behind him. Daylight was starting to fade, giving way to the soft yellows and oranges of sunset before the darkness of nightfall. She glanced off to her right and off the cliff her ship landed on. She could see the edge of the village below them and the wooden profile of a larger-than-life statue of Hanuman that held the Great Lodge up on the side of the mountain. She stood for a few minutes, just admiring the sunset over the mountains. She wanted nothing more than to just sit outside and watch the sun make its descent of the day below the horizon. Sunsets in Wakanda were unlike anything in the world, she knew they would be equally as breathtaking here.

"This way, your highness," he called again as he walked toward the glass door on the side of the Lodge. Despite her longing, she quickly fell into a step behind him. "Don’t worry, Princess Asha. We have sunsets everyday here, I will make sure we carve out time to see it. They are truly breathtaking."

Asha blushed slightly, her adoration for the view must have been evident to everyone. "Thank you, I would appreciate that. We are just very excited to be here," she called after him.

"We are excited to have you. And we will have extra blankets brought to Alexis's room. The cold does take some adjusting."

She glanced at Alexis to see that the woman was indeed shivering, despite being wrapped tightly in a border tribe blanket. Asha nodded and thanked him before silence fell over the group again.

N’Danna briskly walked them to their rooms in the palace, only stopping once when Asha slowed down to see the gardens in the center of the Lodge. She made a mental note to find a spare moment to visit the gardens.

"You should meet the royal gardener as well. I believe you would like him," N’Danna called over his shoulder as he resumed his trek toward the residential wing of the Lodge.

"Here we are. You can go to the dining room for dinner if you choose. However, we are sure you both are tired so we completely understand if you would like it delivered to your room instead. Just let Kide know what you wish to order. Again, anything you should need, do not hesitate to ask."

"Thank you N'Danna." They shared salutes before Alexis and Asha retreated to their respective rooms.

Her room was slightly larger than her accommodations the first time around. The bed was certainly inviting, covered with soft black fur blankets. The fire was always lit across the room, not that she needed it. There were gorilla statues across the room and a small one of a panther, which she guessed was added to make them feel at home.

Asha stared at the bed longingly. All she wanted to do was wrap herself in those soft furs, but she remembered the mountain of readings she still needed to complete to be fully prepared for tomorrow. She, instead, settled on the small couch in front of the fire and set to work, refusing to embarrass her brother or herself.

Her stomach growled slightly, making her consider going down to dinner. She wanted to have it delivered to her room but she knew she wouldn't get to see him if she stayed cooped up in her room all night. She couldn't deny the tinge of disappointment that he did not greet her when she arrived. She was sure he had better things to do but she wanted to see him. She hoped he was warmer today than he was the last time they spoke.

_Wishful thinking_ , she thought to herself before redirecting her energy to the work in front of her, shaking her head slightly. She needed to push out all the distractions, immerse herself in her job, that was the only way she would be able to ignore these feelings... the only way to ignore him.

***

"It was rather rude of you not to welcome our guest earlier," N'Danna remarked as he glanced up from the pile of paperwork in front of him.

"I was busy, a day full of meetings," M'Baku responded casually, not taking his eyes off the paper in front of him.

"As yes, your riveting meeting with my father so you could listen to his many complaints about your leadership style... a meeting you had been putting off for a week but mysteriously added to your schedule just this morning. I know you just could not postpone that any further. That, coupled with your coldness on the phone calls with her over the last two weeks... you should be nicer to her, M'Baku. She was quite disappointed that you were not there."

M'Baku rolled his eyes, frustrated by his best friend and adviser’s need to stick his nose and mind every place it did not belong. But his ears did pick up on his last statement. _She wouldn't have been disappointed if she didn't have feelings for me... right?_ "I was perfectly pleasant to her, despite being a low lander.

"Yes, you were perfectly cold and just shy of being rude to her. But you are right, disappointment does imply feelings and yes, she is quite beautiful," he added slyly at the end.

"I never told you she was beautiful! Stop doing that, my mind is not yours to pick at," he snapped. The corner of N'Danna's lips curled into a slight smile, knowing that his chief's bark held no bite.

"Really? I find that hard to believe given the fact that your mind is just an express train of thoughts about Princess Asha. Everything else is merely a rest stop along the way before you jump back in the conductor's seat. But I understand why you have no idea what to do with that. Pushing her away to try and stop thinking of her makes sense. It is frustrating."

"You know your psycho-analyzing is not worth much when you are stealing all the information directly from someone’s mind right? I wish you would consider some personal form of policing yourself and those powers of yours. Besides, it doesn't matter what my mind says... she is taken, engaged."

"I cannot turn it off anymore than I can turn off breathing. But I am sorry, I know you don’t like it. Why are you so upset about her engagement if you are not interested in her?"

M’Baku cut his eyes, opting for anger instead of a real conversation with his friend. "I can finish the rest of these myself. That is all for this evening N’Danna. Thank you."

N’Danna sighed, "You do not want to talk about it, I understand. But I am the one person you cannot hide from M’Baku, at least not forever. So it would not kill you to actively share every once in a while. Good night."

He nodded as his friend turned and left his office. M’Baku was as annoyed as ever. Two weeks since the Council Meeting, two weeks since he had last laid eyes on her and the tug he had for her had yet to diminish, despite his extensive efforts. He only spoke with her over the phone to avoid looking at her, he was cold toward her during those conversations, he invited a different Jabari woman to his bed almost every night, he refused to welcome her when she landed. So much hard work and thought into the simple act of dampening his feelings toward her. And yet, it was as if the moment her soul entered his home, all his hard work flew out the window as fast as the Talon left Jabariland. He didn't need to physically see her or be in the same room to know she was present and desire nothing else but to be around her. No amount of dispassionate sex, coldness or time seemed to change that.

_You can't have her... and even if she was not engaged. You don't deserve her. Why would she want to be with someone ordinary?_ His subconscious whispered to him. He sighed deeply. Why would she want to be with someone like him? There was nothing special about him... nothing extraordinary. He was perfectly average... a part of the group that was not chosen.

She deserved someone just as extraordinary as she was. Someone who understood her gift. And that was not him. He had learned a long time ago how to live with things he cannot change, and accept disappointments. He could do it now too. He did not have a choice.

He shook his head before burying it back in his work. This was the only thing that would help him move on and forget about her.

****

Early evening transitioned into night as Asha worked, checking, double-checking and triple checking the working treaty and paperwork T'Challa sent with her to iron out. She wanted to be able to answer any question he could throw at her, defend any clause or identify a solid solution. She knew that level of attention and detail would show the Jabari that the Golden Tribe cared, that they could offer ideas and then adjust to their way of life. By the time midnight fell, Asha finally felt prepared enough to rest.

Asha knew she could just absorb the fire in the hearth in front of her and have enough energy to not sleep for days but she didn't want to be up staring out the window all night. She watched the snow fall for a bit before deciding that she was too anxious to rest anyways. She paced, contemplated solutions before she realized that staying in this room would not cure her anxiety but a late-night visit to the library could. She pulled on her shoes and a light sweater and crept out of her room.

After wandering around for a bit, she realized she had no idea where she was heading. She was hoping to easily find her way back to the library but she seemed to be just walking aimlessly. She was so in her head that she did not hear footsteps approaching until they were directly behind her.

"Your highness?"

"Oh my Bast!" she yelped, turning around quickly to find N’Danna standing behind her. She clutched her chest as she tried to right herself, slightly embarrassed for being so easily shaken in front of a high ranking member of the tribe and a few soldiers.

"I am sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I was just heading home for the evening and thought I heard someone." he offered. She was slightly surprised at the warm reception she was getting, the lack of confusion over her ambling around their palace at night. He didn’t seem confused or annoyed by it. Instead, he just eyed her with gentleness and curiosity.

"No, no. Please do not apologize. I should be apologizing, wandering around at night. It was rude of me. I was just hoping to find th-"

"The library?" he finished for her. She blinked a few times at him, confused as to how he would know that. "I am happy to show you before I leave. I was just finishing up some work with Lord M’Baku in his office." He motioned for her to follow him down the hall.

"He always works this late?" she asked curiously, wondering why he was not asleep at an hour like this. _Well he was not asleep the first night you met him either. A night owl,_ she thought to herself.

"Yes, our chief has always been a bit of a night owl. But there is so much behind the scenes work to rejoining Wakanda as you will see during this trip, treaties and such to draft, negotiate, etc. More than just attending a council meeting every month. So, he has been quite busy since the initial meeting. Likely why he asked for your help, we certainly need it."

_It doesn’t seem like it,_ she thought to herself.

N’Danna laughed, seemingly at nothing. "I know, I know. It does not seem like it given his attitude. But you must excuse him. He can be rough and cold around the edges to outsiders, er… well Jabari outsiders. He is just protective of the tribe."

"Understandable. Well, I am happy to be here… excited to be here, truly. I do not want anyone to think I am coming here to change the Jabari. I am just here to serve in whatever capacity he and T’Challa need," she offered politely, choosing to ignore how the man managed to seemingly read her thoughts again.

N’Danna smiled, "We appreciate such willing-"

A door to their left swung open as Lord M’Baku stuck his head out of a door. "N’Danna? Did you forget some-" his words faltered and he fell silent as his gaze shifted to Asha. There was a pregnant pause as the trio simply stared at each other. Or rather, Asha and M’Baku stared at each other while N’Danna’s eyes bounced playfully between the pair like he was intently watching a riveting tennis match. A small knowing smile graced his face and he swayed slightly on his heels with anticipation, waiting for one of them to say something and seemingly enjoying their growing distress.

"No, I ran into the Princess as she was trying to find the library, I was just taking her that way," he answered, ending their misery.

M’Baku’s eyes narrowed, words returning to his voice and a knowing expression filling them. "But the library is in the opposite direction? Did you forget where it was?" N’Danna was not slick, M’Baku knew exactly what he was doing and he was not amused.

"Yes, I thought she would enjoy the scenic route," he answered casually, unbothered by the death glare he was receiving from his best friend and chief.

"The scenic route?" M'Baku repeated. _That leads her right by my office?_ He added in his head, knowing his best friend would hear it.

"The scenic route," N'Danna affirmed quietly, choosing to ignore the mental earful he was getting from his chief. "But it seems she is now in far more capable hands than I. Lord M’baku was just considering having a nightcap before retiring for the evening. Perhaps you can join him so he doesn't have to drink alone? You wanted to try Jabari rum yes? M’Baku has the best in his office."

Asha stared between the ground and M’Baku, torn between wanting to say yes and spend time with him and wanting to escape back to her room. "Uhhh yes… if you are free. But if not, I will just find my way back to my room."

"No!" he almost shouted at her, his annoyance at N’Danna dissipating at the thought of spending time alone with her. He knew it was pointless, what was the point in spending time with a woman pledge to marry someone else? He was dedicated to his mission to be as cold as he could but it was clear that was doomed from the start. His yearning for her only seemed to magnify, not shrink. He had not thought of anyone else but her all evening. He just wanted to be around her, learn about her, and soak up everything there was to know about her. It was selfish, he knew that. But he didn’t particularly care. "I would love some company and he is right, I do have the best rum in the mountains."

"That is an offer I cannot refuse. Thank you N’Danna," Asha said, smiling at him. He nodded with a smile, saluting M’Baku before briskly walking back in the direction he came. Asha stared at his back for a few minutes, trying to figure out what struck her about him… something odd. Not dangerous, just odd… it was as if he knew everything.

She walked into M’Baku’s office and immediately took in the smell. It smelled like him, which made a sigh of contentment almost escape her lips.

"Have a seat, please," he offered, motioning to the chair on the other side of his desk. "Apologies for my adviser. He has a knack for sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong."

He turned away from her, pouring her a glass and handing it to her.

"No need to apologize. He is very sweet... and helpful. He seems to know what I need before I even ask it," she laughed lightly.

"Yes, he... um... he has a certain knack for that I suppose. Well, let us raise a glass to new partnerships and new beginnings," he offered as he prompted her to raise her glass.

"To new partnerships and beginnings," she repeated before their glasses clinked and she took a sip.

"Many new beginnings for you. Are you excited for your engagement?" he asked. Asha paused before answering, detecting the thinly veiled bitterness in his tone.

"Uhh… yes, I suppose. Hasani is a good man, and will be leader of the Merchant Tribe. It is a good match."

"'You suppose...' 'It is a good match,'" M'baku repeated back to her. "Not necessarily what one would want to hear before getting engaged. What about love?"

"It is an arranged marriage… we do not love each other," she scoffed quickly. Her eyes clamped shut immediately as she realized what she said. It was highly inappropriate to disparage her intended to another member of the Council. But there was some small part of her, a part she did not particularly understand, that needed him to know that this was not her choice, that she was a prisoner in all this. "I-I am sorry, I should not speak like that to you as a member of the Council. Hasani is a great person. I pray Bast blesses us with a happy and prosperous life together."

Asha looked him in his eyes as she spoke and that made it so much harder. There was something in them that begged her to be vulnerable, to be honest, that pleaded with her to fall into the sea of him. And she wanted to... Bast she wanted to. But that was the issue with falling, the high of it was beautiful, thrilling. It fills you with inexplicable euphoria. But you never know what awaits you at the bottom: a calm oasis that envelops you in safety and warmth or the rough waves and jagged edges of rocks that end the thrill with deafening pain. Asha had no idea what awaited her at the bottom, in the sea that was Lord M'Baku, and the risks were too high to find out.

M'Baku let out a deep sigh but nodded, respecting her wishes not to be honest. But he saw it: the crack in her ironclad demeanor. He could tell he struck a nerve... the bright smile in her eyes that immediately fell at the mention of her engagement, the quickness of which she corrected him about the reasons behind it, the clearly forced words when she caught herself being too honest. But this girl's walls were high, and he was slowly putting the puzzle pieces of why together. It would take more than a few stolen moments in the dark in a library to break them down.

"No need to apologize, your highness. An arranged marriage though? How primitive. I would think the Golden Tribe would be more progressive. Are T’Challa and Nakia?"

"You would think wouldn’t you? And yes originally but they fell in love on their own, T'Challa encouraged her to become a War Dog... they drifted apart but love eventually helps things drift back together in the end. But things with T'Challa and Nakia were not as complicated."

"Because she is not gifted?"

Asha sighed, putting the glass down before responding, "Yes... it just complicates everything, every interaction and relationship. A nuisance I would not wish on my worst enemy," she muttered, more to herself than him, as she picked up her glass to take another sip. "This is very delicious by the way. Thank you."

He raised his glass in response. "So is that nuisance why you wear those rings?" He gestured down at her hands.

She sighed, "Yes. Without them... without them, I wouldn't be able to control it. I could hurt people, it- I am dangerous."

"You believe you are dangerous?"

She held his gaze for a moment, before it became too overwhelming and she looked back down at the cup of rum in her hand. She tilted the glass back and forth, watching the brown liquid moving around her wooden cup as she stared.

"You don’t?" She asked softly. "I could injure or kill someone without a second thought. You don’t think that makes me dangerous?"

"I think Hanuman doesn’t create weapons… I don’t worship Bast so I cannot speak for her but I would like to think she would not either. The Chosen are here to help elevate, advance or protect the Jabari and Wakanda. Yes, all of their gifts can be used as weapons when needed but that is their choice. Powers only become dangerous when we fail to foster the beauty in it. It seems no one has taken the time to foster the beauty of your gift. Perhaps that is why you feel that way?"

_He doesn’t know what he is talking about. He has never seen what you can do. How you can hurt people._

"Perhaps. But very few people are willing to risk their lives for that, especially for us with powers capable of hurting others. Wakanda will never accept mutants, never consider them as anything other than a danger. Tolerate? Avoid open hostility? Maybe… But what you’re talking about? Respect, admiration... That will not happen in my lifetime. I can't even fathom what that would be like."

"Is that why you haven't read that book yet?"

Asha's eyes snapped up to look at her host, surprise coloring her face. “How did you know?” She didn't get it, how he knew her...saw her so clearly and vividly. She didn't want to admit he was right... that book that she had opened several times, read a few pages about the reverence the Jabari held for mutants only to close it angrily. The longing for a different life, a different custom too painful to bear.

He chuckled, “It was not that big of a leap to be honest. I figured if you read it, you have questions, want to know more about them. Since you haven’t asked about the Chosen yet, I took a stab in the dark.”

"I-I wanted to read it... I just haven't had the opportunity. I can give it back, I have had it too long, I suppose." She avoided his eyes, opting to stare at a portrait of a couple across from her seat. She assumed they were his parents, both shared a striking resemblance to the man before her.

"No... I gave it to you. Keep it, until the opportunity arises." She nodded, refusing to catch his eye.

They sat in silence for a few moments, M'Baku staring a hole into her side of her face as she actively avoided his gaze. "Well, thank you for the drink Lord M'Baku but I think I should retire for the evening. It is getting late."

"O-of course. Amari will show you back to your room." He quickly stood up and ushered her toward the door. They saluted each other before she turned to walk down the hall behind his personal guard.

"Princess Asha!"

She heard her name behind her causing her to turn around. She was secretly thankful, unready to say goodbye to him just yet. She turned around quickly, facing him again. "I go on a morning walk every day. W-w-would you like to join me?" he stammered slightly, his nerves getting the best of him.

She smiled softly, having to bite down the immediate yes that almost fell from her lips. She knew it likely was not a good idea, spending more time with him would not help her. But simultaneously, she desired to be around someone who thought so highly of her.

"Y-yes, Lord M’Baku. I would like that very much."

He nodded before sliding back into the door frame of his office. "Good. Goodnight, your highness."

They saluted each other before she turned back down the hall with his guard leading the way, a bright small on her face as she went.

****

Asha tossed and turned throughout the night. She didn’t mind the lack of sleep except that the nights dragged on without it. She instead spent most of the night replaying her conversation with M’Baku in her head. She wished she could go back and relive it over and over again. She checked her beads every ten minutes it seemed to see if they were any closer to their morning date.

_It’s not a date!_ She screamed at herself. _Engaged princesses can’t go on dates._

_Fine, not a date. A friendly walk between acquaintances? Friends_. She settled on quickly. That is what they were… friends. It sounded far less appealing than how she truly wanted him. But that was all she could get. He didn’t feel that way about her, and even if he did, she had a fiancee in the way.

She huffed and flopped over in bed, annoyed with the voice of logic in her brain. She stared intently at the fireplace in front of her.

_You shouldn’t. One person saying your gift was nice doesn’t change the fact that you are actually dangerous. You could set his palace on fire._

_Or you could test out something simple and fun, like the balls of light._ She sighed. The panther was purring, scratching gently at its cage for release. She took a deep breath before pulling the rings off her fingers. She flexed her fingers, smoke emanating from each briefly as her body adjusted to its freedom.

She watched the fire rage for a few moments before using her hands to twist and contort the flames into new shapes. She did some basic shapes before she upgraded to animals. Her favorite was a fire rhino, which she made bound through the flames like it was chasing something. But she kept noticing a fire gorilla while she played around. She figured it was likely the setting, statues and homages to Hanuman were scattered across her guest room.

The guard told her that Lord M’Baku typically took his walk at sunrise. She waited and waited and waited until the alarm on her kimoyo beads, set to alert her 30 minutes prior to sunrise went off. She felt absurd, the way she nearly catapulted out of bed the moment her alarm rang in the still air once. But thankfully, there was no one around but Bast to witness it.

She threw on her outfit for the walk, a sweater, leggings and snow boots. It was casual but she paired it with some light makeup, like Shuri taught her. She still wanted to look her best.

She pulled half of her braids into a half up, half down style. She pulled her rings back on before examining herself in the mirror.

Asha never considered herself to be beautiful. She wasn’t ugly by far but beautiful? That was Nakia and Okoye… women that men sought after. But today, even she had to admit that she looked good. She adjusted herself in the mirror for one last moment before opening her door to find Kide.

He said nothing, responding to her "good morning" with a polite head nod before heading down the hall. She quickly followed after him, trying to keep up with his brisk pace. Soon, they were at the front of the Lodge. Two guards framed the entrance of the Lodge as Kide led her down the staircase to meet Lord M’Baku.

"Good morning Princess," he said as she approached. She replied with the same as she took in his fidgeting hands, the way he moved his weight from one side to the other as he stood, the lack of certainty in his eyes. She wanted to ease his anxiety somehow but how could she when she felt it too? She just was better at hiding it.

They set off down a path to the left of the Lodge. A comfortable silence fell over them as they listened to the rustling in the trees, the early morning calls of birds. They stole glances at each other every few minutes but otherwise, Asha simply enjoyed the walk.

They walked until they reached a small hill overlooking a creek in the forest. It appeared to be a hidden oasis, a picturesque scene plucked straight from a movie.

"This is beautiful," she marveled as they approached the rocks that led to a cliff over the creek.

"I know." He motioned toward a few large rocks they could sit on at the top of the hill. He dusted the snow off before she sat down.

“Do you come here often?” She asked as she looked off the hill onto the creek. She imagined it looked gorgeous in the summer with lush green grass, full trees and a babbling creek.

“Yes, N’Danna and I found it some time ago. It has been a secret haven for us ever since. He comes more than me though, for the solitude. For when he doesn’t want to hear anymore.”

Asha perked up, eyeing his profile, wondering how much she could probe. “Doesn’t want to hear anymore? What does that mean?”

M’Baku smiled slightly, “I am shocked you hadn’t picked up on it by now, as a Chosen yourself. He can read minds… his ‘knack for anticipating your needs.’”

“Ohhhhh.” Realization washed over her. She felt stupid really, now every interaction with him made even more sense. She stopped the wave of embarrassment from washing over her as well, refusing to think about what other thoughts he picked up swirling around her head about his chief.

“He wouldn’t bring up anything he heard to you or anyone else, just so you know. But sometimes, constantly hearing is too much for him so this spot helps. For me, it is just peaceful. I know it should be the temple but this is where I come to pray… be one with Hanuman.”

Asha nodded, “When I was young, there was a statue of Bast laying in the Royal Gardens. I used to sit next to her and read or pray and it was the only place in my small world that I thought Bast heard me, actually listened to me.”

M’Baku sensed the sadness in her voice, the tinge of pain in her eyes as she spoke of the past. “‘Used to?’”

“I don’t really pray anymore,” she whispered, pressing her hand into a new patch of snow next to her. M’Baku watched as the snow around her hand immediately melted into a puddle of water, the heat flush under her skin too much to allow it to stay in its solid form. “What kind of God curses children as Bast did me? My father used to call it an abomination. It is hard to believe… it is hard to trust in a God who does things like that.” 

“What did your father have against mutants?” 

Asha looked off to the side, her eyes trained on the tree branches weighed heavily with snow. “He believed that Bast only ordained one enhanced being in Wakanda… the Black Panther. You are not born with it. By winning the tribal combat, by surviving the visit to the Ancestral Plane… Bast chooses you. Her power, her gift chooses you. You earn it. He took offense to anyone being born with powers he had to earn. It is the opposite of your custom. We were not chosen and so, in his mind, our existence is against her will.” 

“If only you had been born here instead of with the lowlanders. Things would have been different.” 

“Yes, I suppose they would have. But then I wouldn’t have T’Challa and Shuri… Nakia, Okoye and Ayo… Alexis,” she listed. M’Baku smiled to himself as he saw her face light up at the list of people she had in her life. It was probably the first genuine smile he had seen on her face when she was talking about home. 

Silence fell over the two as they sat, they watched the sun finish rising high in the sky before M’Baku stood and helped her up. 

“My home life isn’t all tragic and sad, you know?” she said randomly as they found their way back to the trail that would lead them back to the Lodge. “I feel like it may seem that way, given our conversations but there is good there too. My life isn’t overflowing with amazing people, I haven’t really had the opportunity to meet many people honestly. But the people that are there… the love that is there… It is bright, it sustains me through everything. I wish some things were different, it is true. But all of them make my life worth living.”

“I don’t doubt it. I saw your grief, your relief when you saw T’Challa. I imagine there are few siblings with a bond as deep as yours. I don’t mean to judge your life or the lowlanders. I just believe you and people like you deserve more. Which is why I would like to ask you to do something for me as my guest here.” 

“Yes?” 

“I would like you to not wear those rings for the rest of this trip.” 

Her eyes bugged out of her head as his request cycled into her ears and registered in her brain. “What? No. No. I am sorry Lord M’Baku but I do not think that is wise. I could lose control… burn your house down, hurt someone. It is too great a risk when I am supposed to be here winning the affections of your people.” 

He laughed, “You think you are so out of sync with your powers that taking those off for a few days would lead to a forest fire? You did not seem to have this many reservations in the library that night? Or was a room full of paper books not as important? You are afraid to truly let your powers show and I understand given the way you were raised. But you are only here for three days… You wish things were different yes? Here they can be. Why spend the next three days hiding when you have to go back to that when you leave? This is the one place in Wakanda that you do not have to hide. Enjoy it.”

His proposition did sound alluring… freedom for more than just a few moments. She was still hesitant though. She hadn’t been without her rings for more than a day or two since she was a teenager. And had she become so accustomed to pretending to be someone else that she forgot how to be herself? She never learned how to effectively use her powers, she didn’t even know the extent of them. Hell, she had no idea she could float, possibly fly, until her breakdown after T’Challa’s death. How many more abilities did she have that she didn’t even know about. Was now, as a guest in someone else’s home the best time to find out? 

_What other time or opportunity would you have? You certainly can’t do so at home. He is right, now is the rare moment to be free._

Her slender fingers fiddled with the delicate rings on the opposite hand as she looked up at him with eyes filled with skepticism. There it was again… that indescribable thing about him that made her want to fall. She could feel it too, every moment she was with him, he pulled her closer and closer to the cliff’s edge. She would pull back and he would be right there tugging her forward again.

He smiled at her, his eyes filled with mischief and delight as her fingers started pulling one ring off after another. Before she knew it, she could feel the tension in her body release, feel the panther slowly ease out of her cage. She took a step back from him as sparks and smoke emanated from her hands. She took a few deep breaths, regulating her body’s response until they stopped. He gave her an encouraging nod as he took a step toward her. It was not tentative or hesitant like people have done in the past. It was deliberate and confident, as if he was determined to let her know that he was not afraid of her. 

“Deal,” she said softly. 

They stared at each other for a few moments before they both noticed soft embers rising between them. She had only seen those once before, with him in the library, and now she wondered if that was her body’s natural response to the affection she felt toward him. 

“U-um, we should head back yes? I don’t want your guard to think I kidnapped their chief,” she chuckled awkwardly. He nodded and they set back on their way, their bodies closer together, hands brushing against each other every few steps. Asha anticipated it, longed for that brief physical contact each time. It provided warmth and comfort her body hadn’t experienced in a long time. 

Before she knew it, they were back in the Lodge and standing outside her door. 

“Well this is where I leave you. I will see you in,” he quickly checked his watch for the time,” two hours for our first meeting, your highness?” 

“I will be there,” she answered as she pushed against the heavy wooden door that lead to her room. “Oh Lord M’Baku? I now have a request for you. It is just Asha. No your highness or Princess. Just Asha.” 

A big grin spread across his face as he took in her request. “Ok then, ‘just Asha.” Only if you call me M’Baku.” He held his hand out for her to shake on their new deal. She started to raise her hand before remembering their previous deal and quickly clutched it to her chest. 

“We will work up to that, yes?” He retracted his hand and let it fall back to his side. 

“Yes, please.” 

He nodded, giving her one last longing look before heading down the hallway. 

“M’Baku!” She called after him, unable to let their last private moment for the day pass without saying one final thing. “Thank you,” she said as he turned around to look at her again. 

He offered her another smile and a head nod before turning back around. The thank you required no explanation, he knew what it meant and knew it was unnecessary. He didn’t deserve a thank you for recognizing her humanity. He was just excited to realize that those high walls were coming down brick by brick. He wasn’t sure if he was prepared for what lays behind them but he knew it would be glorious.


	3. Chapter 3

“That was a productive meeting, yes?" She asked the stoic man next to her as she gathered the mess of documents in front of her. Her eyes closed briefly as exhaustion from a day's worth of meetings settled in her bones. She desired nothing more than to fall into bed and take a nap before her call with her brother to recap the day.

She loathed admitting when her brother was right but even she couldn't deny that he was right about this. She had a certain knack for this... politics and compromise. He forced her out of her comfort zone, out of the space she knew but she was happy he did. She actually enjoyed the work and it didn't hurt that her first assignment came with certain... perks.

"I think it is beginning to look like something we could work with. The King will be amenable to our requests, yes?"

"I am speaking with him tonight and will raise your concerns then. None of which are unreasonable, even if they are a bit prickly," she teased. "We can discuss his feedback and do any fine-tuning tomorrow."

He nodded. "Um Asha, do you have plans prior to dinner?"

"Just a nap, I think," she chuckled. "But I could be persuaded to do something different if my host has other ideas."

"Well, I was hoping we could go for a walk, perhaps through the market. So you can be among the people for a bit."

"That sounds lovely."

The journey down the mountain was swift, a quick carriage ride. The Lodge looked larger than life from the valley, a true lesson in how perspective changes everything. She looked up to see bridges criss-crossing their way between the mountains and structures, giving the Jabari faster and easier access to every inhabited part of the mountains. She marveled at the engineering. She was not as smart as Shuri when it came to technology but she could hold her own in the lab and spent a great deal of time there at night with her sister to avoid the other scientists. She understood the skill it took to create and erect those types of structures. It reminded her how little she truly understood about the Jabari, grateful for the opportunity to really learn about their daily lives. Her eyes lowered to the small shops surrounding her on the ground.

Asha drew a few stares as she walked alongside M’Baku. Every booth they passed earned M’Baku a discreet bow, head nod and smile while she got a curious and long stare. She did stand out like red in a sea of white, too small to be a Jabari and clearly dressed in the clothes of a low lander. Her two-piece dress would not have turned heads in the Golden City, but here? It screamed of an outsider who didn't know how to dress for the weather.

However, her companion certainly was not complaining. M'Baku almost lost his breath when she walked into his office that morning, the smooth skin of her waist showing, her shapely body on display in the form-fitting skirt. There were several moments throughout the day that he got lost in the desire to know what laid beneath that outfit, moments like right now.

She wondered if this is what it was like for T’Challa or Shuri when they roamed the markets in Wakanda without a care in the world. She was always jealous of them, envied them for it. All the people they got to meet, things they got to see... she knew it brought them closer to their roots. After all, the true beauty of Wakanda is her people. If you do not know them, how can you truly love the country? Truly be a part of it? Yet another thing that made her heart ache, long for a different reality... she was an outsider in her own country, and would never be able to feel the warmth of Wakanda as she should have. They always told her there was nothing to envy, describing it as mundane, commonplace, sometimes even boring. She always thought they were lying for her benefit, and now she knew that to be true. What she was experiencing now was quite the opposite of mundane, commonplace or boring. It was lively and vibrant... she imagined if she were to walk through at the same time tomorrow, she would see something totally unique. The sights, sounds and smells overloaded her senses as she walked, all competing for her attention and pulling her in 100 different directions.

"What are you thinking about?" His deep baritone startled her out of her inner musings. 

"Oh umm..I was just thinking about how different this is. You know, I can't even remember the last time I was in a crowd this big, truthfully. Probably not since I was 10 or so?" She nervously fidgeted with her hands as anxiety replaced her awe while she looked at the unsuspecting Jabari around her.

"That is when the chosen begin to reveal their powers. I imagine it is the same down the mountains?"

She nodded and sighed, "Yes." A loud crack drew her attention to two small children playing with knobkerries behind one of the booths as they walked, reminding her of her and her brother at that age. "One minute T'Challa and I were fighting as siblings and children do, the next his bed was in flames. I will never forget his face... He thought it was the coolest thing ever. My parents... did not. And of course, now I just think of all the ways I could have accidentally hurt him. Like I could do to almost ev-every person here." That last part was softer, M'Baku realizing that she didn't really mean to say it out loud.

"If I truly thought you were a danger to anyone here, I would not have brought you. Do not sell yourself or your control over yourself short Asha. Come, I think this may help."

She appreciated the lifeline, his ability to pull her back from the edge of the cliff before she catapulted down into a sea of anxiety and fear. Of course, she did not truly recognize that everytime he pulled her from that cliff, he was pushing her toward a different, equally dangerous one. She was just grateful for the distraction, the assurance as he pulled her toward an empty booth to his right. Unlike the other booths that were filled with products, this booth was completely bare with only a frail-looking old woman sitting alone behind it. 

"Miss Olabisi, looking as beautiful as ever," M'Baku boasted to the old woman sitting behind the booth. She leaned into her carved wooden walking stick to help her stand as she limped her way from her seat to the counter.

"My lord. I pray Hanuman is blessing you today," she offered with a smile. Her petite, wrinkled hands grasped his large ones as she spoke. Asha watched from a bit behind him as they interacted.

"Just as he does every day. I brought a friend with me today. I was hoping to show her your flowers."

Asha shared a confused look with Alexis behind him. There were no flowers at her booth or any visible merchandise or a sign to explain what the woman sold there.

"Ah a special friend? She is beautiful but not a Jabari. Must be a lowlander. Come close, my child. I don't bite," she reached out a hand for Asha to approach. Asha walked up to stand by M'Baku, the old woman immediately taking her hand in hers. Instinctively, Asha yanked her hand away and Alexis banged her spear into the ground, ready to use her weapon. Asha quickly raised her hand, signaling for her guard to stand down.

"Do not fret, child. I mean you no harm. I am sure you have encountered more dangerous beings than I," She held her fragile hands back out. After a reassuring smile and nod from M'Baku, Asha placed her hand back in hers. Her fingertips gently gazed over her palm, seemingly unbothered by the smoke slowly rising from her palm.

"I sense great magic in you child. Perhaps one of the most powerful chosen I have seen all my days. A Fire One? The most rare among us... Perhaps a rare flower for a rare beauty, yes?"

Unnerved by the woman's other-worldly ability to read her powers, Asha's responses were limited to simple head nods. Asha watched as she pulled a pot of soil from under her counter. With a few waves of her hands, Asha watched a flower buds slowly peek out of the soil. She watched them grow and grow until the pot was full of Wakandan Roses: blood red with orange tips.

"A flower fit for one chosen by fire, I think."

Awe and wonder settled on Asha's face like a child. "Wow... wow, these are beautiful. Thank you."

"Anything for our chief's special friend," she answered. She waved her hands over a second pot, causing a white orchid to emerge. "And your favorite my lord. Now go on, child. The day is as young and beautiful as the two of you. Don't waste it chatting with me. It was a pleasure to meet you Princess Asha, I expect we will see far more of you here."

"Thank you, Olabisi" M'Baku saluted her before motioning for his guard to pick up the potted flowers, pay, and continue back toward the carriage. "She is a chlorokinetic and the oldest Chosen in the tribe. She tends to the tribe's greenhouses and sells flowers, she can make a variation of any flower in the world based on a person's energy. Hence the hand thing, which sorry. I should have warned you. It is a bit jarring the first time," she nodded, the pair sharing a laugh. "She can also sense powers in other people. She is the epitome of what the chosen are meant to be for us." 

"I can see. She is very special."

"The surprises are not over for today. I wanted you to see one more thing. A little mind-reading bird told me you love sunsets. I thought you ought to see the best one in all of Wakanda."

Asha scoffed, "I do but every Wakandan knows that the best view of the sunset is on the Great Mound, you can see Bast bring nightfall over all of Wakanda."

The horse pulling his carriage sped off, toward the mountain across from the Lodge. The winding, snow-covered roads took them higher and higher up the mountain.

"Oh yea? Well," he paused to climb out of the carriage and help her down. The carriage stopped at a small clearing that led to a cliff, not unlike the one the Talon dropped her off on the day prior. "The Jabari would like to offer up a contender for that spot."

She walked to the middle of the clearing and her breath was almost taken away. You could see everything: the border mountains of Jabariland, the waterfalls that flowed down into the valley of those border mountains, the Great Mound in the distance.

"T-this is... wow. I mean..." Words failed her. There were no words to describe the majesty of her home. Wakanda is not perfect, she knew this, but of all the books she read, movies she had seen, she was confident in saying that no country on Earth held a torch to this beauty.

The pair stood, with their human shadows not far behind, fairly close to the edge of the peak. The whole world fell away as they stood, both staring off into the sunset. The sun made its descent slowly, giving them time to admire the changing colors in the sky. Tonight, it seemed Bast and Hanuman, she supposed given the setting, wanted to welcome her to this new place. With the setting sun came a sky of fire, rich hues of red faded into brilliant oranges as day gave way to dusk.

"You win. T-this is beautiful... it is everything M'Baku."

"It seems Hanuman wanted to thank us for bringing a rare beauty into his home. A sky fit for a woman of fire."

She turned away, face flushed with heat that had nothing to do with the flames beneath the surface. They continued to watch as the sky settled firmly into dusk before it would quickly give way to the inky blackness of nightfall. Asha didn't realize how close the two were standing until her shoulder brushed against his arm, causing those mysterious sparks like those that rise from embers on a fire to slowly rise from her hands. 

He held her hand, instinctively noticing her preparing to snatch them out of the atmosphere, desperate to stop her. They watched each other, her small hand still in his as the sparks grew. Soon, they were surrounded by them, circling them, pulling them into a world of their own.

Before M'Baku could stop himself, his free hand cupped her face, holding her gaze to his. He felt it... the heat flush beneath her skin. He imagined a boiling inferno of power that no one else could see, that no one else was worthy of. She stared up at him with a soft smile that made him want to gather the whole world and lay it at her feet. It took all of one day... 24 hours for him to forget her engagement, forget how undeserving he was of her, forget his iron-clad rules and self-control and whatever bullshit he fed himself to limit his feelings toward her. He didn't want to be limited... normalcy, being ordinary was limiting enough. He wanted her and that moment did not afford him the time to really examine what that would mean, the consequences of that next step. His thumb gently rubbed circles in her cheek, her eyes fell closed at his touch and he knew he had her.

Looking at each other, both decided that the consequences were inconsequential. Those would just have to be the troubles of the future M'Baku and Asha to work out because right here... right now was all that mattered. His hand slid down to her neck as he pulled her body flush against his.

Bated breaths passed between the two, they shared silent pleads and determination to see this choice through as M'Baku lowered his lips toward hers only to be stopped by the shrill sound of her beads ringing through the air. Like an explosion, the two jumped away from each other immediately.

"Oh no! M-my meeting with T'Challa. I-I am late. W-we sh-should return to the Lodge." She stammered as she waved her hand around her face and closed it into a fist causing all the floating sparks to return to their owner.

"Y-yes. Yes. Of course. Let us hurry."

They climbed back into the carriage, taking off back down the mountain and up the sharp curves of another. Asha was thankful Alexis and Amari were in another carriage behind them so she did not have to see the look of disappointment on her guard's face. The ride back was only marked with silence... very awkward silence as she and M'Baku looked everywhere but at each other.

She felt foolish, coming onto him like a desperate fool. _Why on Earth would he want you?_ She wanted to smack herself in the head. Never mind the fact that she was someone else's, why on Earth was she desperate for the intimate attention of someone who was not him?

_Because we all know Hasani is incapable and unwilling to give you those things._

_Well maybe that is because I am undeserving of them, she fought with herself internally._

Across the very short distance of the back seat in the carriage, M'Baku was having a similar fight with himself, kicking himself for ignoring everything he put in place to stop this exact scenario. She would hate him after this, he just knew it. Never want to see him again, demand to be taken back down the mountains immediately. And then he would face the wrath of the Black Panther for making her uncomfortable.

_Why do you insist on making things harder for yourself?_

They jumped out of the carriage quickly and M'Baku escorted her back to her chambers.

"This is your stop," he joked as they stood outside her door. They both could tell the other was trying to figure out a way to address the gorilla in the room, what just took place. But she could not find the words and apparently neither could he.

"Yes, thank you. Um... are we still on for our walk tomorrow morning?" She asked timidly, her way of ensuring she was still in his good graces... that she did not ruin their budding friendship.

"Of course," he exclaimed, his face lighting up. They both let out a sigh of relief, he was also looking for a way to ensure he had not ruined everything. "Same time and place."

"Great! I am looking forward to it. I s-should go though. Shouldn't keep the king waiting right?"

"Right, good night Asha." She watched him walk away, a doey-eyed look of longing plastered on her face before Alexis caught her attention.

"We will need to speak about this after you finish with T'Challa," she whispered.

Asha rolled her eyes, refusing to acknowledge her guard's love for drama and gossip. Asha and Alexis settled into her room, putting her flowers on the nightstand before pulling out her tablet to call T'Challa.

"T'Challa! I am so sorry, I was with M'Baku and lost track of time," she apologized as she sat down on the couch next to Alexis.

"M'Baku? So you two are on a first name basis?"

"They are on more than that," Alexis whispered under her breath to which Asha responded with daggers of her own.

"What was that?" T'Challa inquired, amused at the interaction as realization hit that there was more to this bout of tardiness than his little sister was willing to let on.

"Nothing, nothing. Apologies again, my king."

"Well, I can excuse skipping one meeting, just don't make a habit of it like your younger sister, understand?"

"Yes, of course."

"Good, let's get to work."

***

"This is delicious... I didn’t realize you all were actually vegetarians. I thought you were just bothering the colonizer."

Asha smiled across the table at her host as they enjoyed dinner. It was bittersweet... she was ecstatic that he invited her to a private dinner in his residence but it was to commemorate her last night in the mountains and a successful final day of talks. She was going home with a signed treaty welcoming the Jabari back into the fold officially. But she didn't want to leave. The last two days were magical... perfect. And then in the morning, she would have to go down the mountains, put her rings back on and return to secrecy. She didn't want to do it but she knew she had no choice.

M’Baku let out a loud chuckle in his signature bark and shook his head.

"I was really proud of that joke."

"Oh we could all tell," Asha assured him as she finished her vegetable soup. Her mind drifting back to her first time meeting this gentle giant, he seemed like anything other than that at the time. Even when he was doubled over guffawing at his own joke. But after two days, she saw it: the softness behind his tough exterior. She could tell he did not show the whole tribe that side often. People did not seem scared of him. No, he was not a ruler who required fear and intimidation to rule. He had the love and respect of his people, which was evident, while striking a balance between toughness and compassion.

"Are you excited to return home? I can imagine it is tough being away for so long."

"To see Shuri and T'Challa? Yes. But I could live without the rest of it. Being here is nice. Left all my burdens at the bottom of your mountains. Can't say I am excited to pick them up again."

"It must have been hard... everything you have been through in the last month. Your father died, your brother died and came back, your cousin attacked your family, you were forced into exile, you got engaged, first job. Not a lot of time to recover before a new wave drags you beneath the surface. How are you coping?"

She looked up from her plate and noticed that the original playfulness in his eyes was gone, replaced with a certain seriousness she was unprepared for. She played with the ends of her braids, "Well when you list it like that, it does sound pretty tragic," she laughed slightly before a more solemn look fell on her face. "I don't know. Nobody has asked me that and I j- I just try to avoid thinking about some of it, like Baba. It is too," she stared into space as she sought to find the proper word, "Too complicated."

"Why?" He quickly bowed his head with guilt, "I-I am sorry. That is none of my business. I shouldn't be asking you to bear your soul over dinner."

"No need to apologize," she responded with a reassuring smile. And she truly wasn't offended. He was the first person to inquire about her grief, the first person who she knew would not judge her for the very, very gray area it still resided in. If she was going to bare her soul to anyone, he seemed like the best option. 

"You know, my mother and Shuri loved to go to the spa? It is their tradition when Baba and T'Challa are out of the country. They leave their beads and they enjoy a day with each other - no tech, no distractions. My mother always pretended like they were going to do official business or something in an effort to not make me feel bad. But I always knew. But what she didn't know was that I loved it. Particularly this day, Bast I could not wait for them to leave," she laughed, causing M'Baku's lips to turn into a slight smile at her airy laugh, one that resembled a small child. "T'Challa has been working for weeks to build me this fire-resistant training room and it was finally ready. So that was going to be the day, I was going to go and finally, safely, test the potential of these mysterious powers I had. He would say, 'If you are going to be cursed, as you call it, you might as well learn to use it to your advantage.' And so, my wardens were gone... my siblings were gone so I couldn’t hurt them. I finally had some freedom. I put it off all day, hemmed and hawed about it. I finally made it down there, was about to step in when..."

"What stopped you?"

"My beads rang and I ignored them initially. But they rang again and again. When I answered them, it was T'Challa and he could b-barely say it. But he didn't have to. I could see it. I had seen my brother upset... angry but never this. Never heartbroken, never shattered. And I knew he couldn't do it... so I went back upstairs and waited for my mother and Shuri to return. Telling them was like... was like watching someone's world end. And as I sat there holding Shuri as she sobbed or spent hours on the phone trying to talk my homicidal brother off a ledge, I just felt like an outsider in their grief. Like a phony who was not as sad as her family."

"How so?"

"Don't get me wrong. I loved my father and I was sad, in my own way. But it was so confusing. He was loved by everyone. And when someone dies, especially in a tragedy, we ignore the bad parts and immortalize the good. My mother lost a dedicated and devoted husband. My brother lost his hero and role model. Shuri lost a doting father and her strongest advocate."

"And you?"

"I lost a prison guard, my biggest critic. My father hated everything about who I was. Everything that made me who I am and he raised me to hate it too. He made me a prisoner in my own home. When his soul left this earth, I felt freedom for the first time in a long time. Felt like I could finally be myself." 

M'Baku nodded, "That makes sense. I can only imagine how difficult that is. But you can be free now, under your brother's reign."

"Can I though? It only took a few days for me to realize that the prison he created was more than the walls of a palace he didn’t allow me to leave. He built them around my heart, around my soul, blocking out every good and beautiful thing I could have in this world. And then.. I don't know, I just became more angry with him than sad." 

She looked up from her lap as silence overtook the table, taking his lack of words for judgment. "I know, I am a horrible person and daughter." 

"No, no. I don't think that. Life is complicated, feelings are complicated. You are doing the best you can. I was actually thinking of ways to help you exercise this freedom. You didn't wear those rings for two days and no catastrophes. I think you should reward yourself."

She eyed him suspiciously, sitting back in her seat and deciding to humor him, "Reward myself for not accidentally burning your house down? How should we do that?"

"Well, what is one aspect of your powers you want to explore but haven't yet?"

She looked off into the distance, thinking deeply, eyes widening as she thought of the one thing she wanted to try. "I can fly, I think. Or at least, I can hover off the ground. I haven't had the chance to really try it. There would be no place to safely do it." She shook her head, acknowledging the absurdity of it.

M'Baku's eyes bugged out of his head for a second before he recovered. Now this was more for him than her, he quickly realized. Because there is nothing he wanted more in the world than to see her soaring across the sky. He stood up and reached out for her hand to help her out of her chair. "Well, there is no better time to try than the present. Come with me."

"What? Wait M'Baku, I don't think I am dressed properly to attempt flying and it could be dangerous," she tried to reason as he walked her outside. They walked for a bit until they reached the Jabari's outside training grounds. There, Kide waited for them. "You called for me, my lord?"

"Yes. The Princess would like to test out her powers a bit, specifically the art of flying. I figured that you, our resident expert, could give her some pointers."

"Wait, you can fly?" she asked in disbelief.

He and M'Baku shared a knowing look and slight chuckle before Kide closed his eyes, his body gently hovering above the ground before he gently glided over to her. "Not long distances but I can get around Jabariland pretty well. Let's see what you can do."

"Oh, I don't know if I can turn it on like that. The first time... eh... the first time I was out of control."

"What were you thinking about then?"

"Escaping danger, I wanted to get as far away as fast as I could."

He seemed to look through her as he thought about her statement. "Fear is a good motivator but you don't want to have to be terrified to access parts of your powers. So think about channeling your fire, which is the fuel for your flying I assume, into your extremities and using that to push yourself off the ground. And then just think about a destination and focus all your energy through your body to get there. Give it a try."

She quickly stripped herself of her shoes, knowing Shuri would not forgive her for destroying them. She felt the flames beneath the surface rush to her feet to warm them up as she stood in the snow, melting the frozen precipitation around her. She closed her eyes, feeling foolish but she tried to do what he said. She thought about almost gathering all the fire inside in a ball at her core before pushing it down into her hands and feet. She felt the unmistakable heat of fire in the air, letting her know that that part worked at least. Determination set in her face as she pushed and pushed, straining to lift her body off the ground. Soon, she felt it, the familiar lightness of floating. Her eyes snapped open to see M'Baku and Kide below her. She was only a few feet off the ground but it was something.

She looked down at her hands and feet, looking at the flames working hard to keep her in the air. She laughed into the air, shock filling her as she realized she was really doing it. However, the momentary loss of concentration caused her to tumble back into the snow.

"Not a bad first try, Princess. You can't lose concentration though," Kide laughed as he walked over to her to help her up. She wiped the water droplets from the melted snow off her dress as she looked at him.

"That was amazing. Wow. Do you think I could actually fly or just hover like that?" She asked enthusiastically.

Next to her, M'Baku's smile was brighter than all the stars in the Jabari sky, This was the Asha he was yearning to see since she stepped foot into the mountains. The one who was excited about her powers, the one that was determined to explore her endless possibilities. He did not believe she could get more perfect than he thought she was. But she continued to surprise him. Simply watching her float above him, her eyes filled with fire, like a goddess was beyond breathtaking. If Hanuman decided to call him home to the Ancestral Cliffs at this moment, he would go happily. He had seen it all, nothing would top that moment.

While he was trapped in a cycle of adoration and admiration for her, he missed her rising in the air again, this time with a bit more grace and confidence.

Asha kept her concentration as she tilted forward and tried to fly in a circle above the men's heads. She pushed the fire behind her to push upward and then out to propel herself forward. Cold air whipped against her exposed skins and entered her lungs but she didn't care. She never wanted this feeling to end. She did a couple of laps around their heads, still a bit wobbly, losing height here or there as she tried to adjust to this new skill. She touched her exposed feet back down on the ground, causing the fire on her feet to immediately die out. Her hands took a moment but soon the flames retreated back into her body as well, allowing Kide and M'Baku to approach again.

"Well done, princess," M'Baku said, clapping for her.

She smiled, praise sounding far more appealing when it tumbled from his lips. "Thank you. Thank you both for this. It was exhilarating and life-changing and ju- just thank you."

"Well, we are here anytime you want to escape the lowlanders and practice Princess," M'Baku offered. "Let's go inside yes? You have an early day journey home tomorrow."

Asha nodded, but hesitated when M'Baku took her hand to lead her back into the Lodge.

"What's wrong?"

"This will sound foolish. But I j-just don't want this to end. I know what I have to go back to and here, well this is easy. Here with you, it is freedom. Guess I am not ready to go back and have that end? Is that crazy?" She asked, wanting confirmation that her inner thoughts did not make her insane.

"Not crazy at all. How about we go back to my quarters for a drink? We can talk and relax? Then the night won't end for another hour or so."

"That would be great, thank you."

"But you have to promise me something?" He stopped walking to turn and look at her. 

"And what would that be?" 

"When you go back to the city, take some of the freedom you had here back? Don't go back and retreat into isolation again?" 

"Deal." That sounded easy enough, right? After the last couple of days, Asha had no desire to return to the woman she was back at home. She wanted it to be like this all the time, even if it couldn't be with him. 

They walked back to his private quarters where he pulled out a bottle of Jabari rum and the pair settled on his couch. Over that bottle, they talked about everything under the sun. Asha learned everything there was to know about M'Baku's life in the mountains. They talked about their families, embarrassing stories, and battle wounds. They tested, much to Asha's chagrin, how her powers stood up against Jabari wood. They went over it all, getting drunk off of rum and each other.

Soon, more than an hour had passed and it was 3 a.m. and M'Baku looked over to find Asha asleep next to him. She was too peaceful, too beautiful bathed in the moonlight from his window to disturb. He picked her up and settled her into his bed, which held the warmest furs and would be most comfortable. He watched the soft rise and fall of her chest, listened to her quiet breaths as she got lost in the unconscious world. He simply thanked Hanuman for the opportunity to know her. Tomorrow, they would return to reality, it would leave them out in the cold alone. He didn't want to think about how tomorrow, she would go back to being someone else's. He was just happy they had tonight. He pulled an extra blanket out of the closet before settling back on the couch to rest. The lesser parts of him wanted to join her in his bed but that was not his way. He watched over her for a bit longer before sleep claimed him.

***

"Asha!!"

Asha's foot barely left the ramp of the Royal Talon before Shuri's small body rammed into hers. She grunted playfully before instinctively wrapping her little sister in a tight hug. "Bast I missed you."

"Don't leave me with T'Challa again," Shuri complained. "He is no fun."

Asha laughed loudly as they walked up to her brother, Nakia and her mother who waited at the entrance of the palace. "I promise. He is no fun," she agreed with her sister.

"Brother, Nakia," she greeted as the two pulled her into tight hugs. You would have thought she was gone for weeks. It had only been two days. But she supposed it was a different feeling for everyone. Usually, she was the one that was left behind, waiting for others to return, not the other way around.

"Welcome back, your absence, even for a short while, was certainly felt. I hope the trip was productive?"

"Duh, come on brother, do you really believe I would return empty handed?" she pretended to be insulted by his insinuation before turning to her mother, "Mama." She went in to hug her before her mother raised her hand to stop her.

"Where are your rings?? Foolish girl, you could have burned me or burned the house down. Why would you take them off?" Her mother chastised her.

Asha's heart sank a bit, she had been on a high since leaving Jabariland, opting to not put those rings back on. She wanted to see how she fared without them at home. She did not really think about her mother's reaction, she just focused on how supportive she knew T'Challa and Shuri would be. Already, reality was hitting the young princess, hitting her fast.

"I-I am sorry mama. I forgot. Alexis," she motioned for her Dora to bring her the small pouch that contained the rings. Quickly, she put them on all her fingers to be allowed to hug her own mother. The effects were swift and slightly painful after being without them for days. The panther fought it but soon she was back in her cage where she belonged.

"A lapse in judgment this family cannot afford. Your father and I raised you better than this Asha." The hug her mother bestowed was quick before she turned and walked back into the palace. Asha stared at her back, a hurt expression on her face that her siblings and friend quickly noticed.

_You brought this on yourself. Why on Earth would you think you could come back here and it be any different?_

Asha knew things wouldn't magically change over night but she had hoped she could do as M'Baku asked and bring some of the mountains home with her. Perhaps she had gotten too comfortable in the safety and progressiveness of the Jabari, and had forgotten how things worked here. She had changed but her world had not. 

"Let us go, Asha. We need to start getting ready for tonight's state dinner. Tell us all about your trip." Nakia smiled brightly at her before tugging her toward the door.

"Oh, it was nice. Jabariland is beautiful, the people are amazing. It was great," she answered without much detail. She didn't really want to talk about the trip now. And she knew she couldn't say a great deal in front of T'Challa.

Leaving today had been bittersweet to say the least. That morning she woke up in M'Baku's bed, which was a genuine shock. A good one though. What better way to wake up than wrapped in the scent of a man like that? She looked over and saw him sleeping on the couch, his bare chest exposed. She wanted him in so many ways, all of which were ways she could not realistically have him. But her wants were still the same. Saying goodbye to him was the hardest part. She tried to prolong their time together and convince him to come on the Royal Talon to the Capitol early since he had to be there that evening for the state dinner and the next day for the council meeting. But he refused, citing work that needed to be finished before he could escape for a party.

She now understood what that goodbye really meant though. Their time together was over, whatever their complicated and slightly inappropriate relationship was, it could not exist here as it did in the mountains. And now she wasn't sure if the woman he helped shape could last either. 

***

Asha never minded being unable to attend official events, they seemed like more of a hassle than fun. But here she was, standing in the receiving line next to her sister and brother, playing the true part of a princess - something she had never really done before.

Her painted smile never faltered as she saluted and greeted every guest before they reached her brother. There was only one guest she actually cared about seeing but she pretended to care about the rest. But that painted smile lit up when he came into view, a change in demeanor that was not lost on her siblings. Her posture grew, her internal light shined brighter with every step he took toward her.

"Lord M'Baku, long time no see," she greeted him with a salute and a laugh.

"Princess, it has been too long," he joked back. "I hope your journey home was pe-" his words faltered momentarily as his eyes fell on her hands in her salute. She watched as they rolled over each ring on her fingers, she could see it clear as day swimming in the sea of his brown orbs: his disappointment. She wanted to say something, but couldn't as the ushers herded him forward before he could finish his thought. She stared longingly at his back, willing the thoughts in her mind to jump into his brain as he walked away, willing him to understand. But the opportunity passed as quickly as it came.

She tried to speak with him throughout the night but every time, they would get interrupted or he would quickly dodge her. She understood he was likely disappointed but what else could she have done?

"Are you alright?"

Asha turned to find Nakia sitting next to her, looking at her with an expression of concern.

"Yes, of course. Why do you ask?"

"Because I have known you your whole life. This is not the face of a woman who is ok. You have been different since returning from your trip."

Asha laughed, "I have not even been back a day, Nakia."

"It doesn't matter. We saw it the moment you stepped off that plane. You are more confident and assured. It radiates off of you. I will bet I can guess who in the mountains helped bring that about?"

Asha scanned the crowd to avoid Nakia's knowing and sly looks. "Yes, well. He helped me tap into parts of myself that I didn't know existed. I-It was nice there. It was nice to be se-" Her voice fell as her eyes fell, not on the only man she actually cared about seeing, but on her intended. She watched as Hasani chatted with one of the guests, their attraction for each other was obvious to anyone who could see them. His hand on the small of her back, hers on his bicep, the way they leaned in far too closely to whisper in each other's ears, the laughter that seemed to reach above the crowd to Asha's ears just to taunt her. She saw it all. "Will you excuse me Nakia?"

"Yes, my princess."

Asha descended from the high table and walked toward him. She debated what to say or do, there was really nothing she could say or do without causing a scene. But she had to end this before too many people noticed.

"Hasani," she called politely as she approached. He quickly dropped his hand from her back and put a small amount of distance between the two.

"Yes, my princess?"

"May I speak to you please?"

She ignored the eye roll and grunt that was supposed to serve as a yes and led him into the now empty entrance hall.

"Can you not do that?" She asked once they were alone in a small hallway off from the main hall.

"Do what?"

Asha rubbed her forehead, she almost wished she had just ignored it. She could hear it in his words, he had been drinking, which meant this would likely be an unproductive conversation. "I do not care how many women you sleep with throughout this engagement or our marriage. But in public, I do ask that you, at least, appear to be loyal and dedicated to me. It is embarrassing as the King's sister and his top advisor to have my intended openly flirt-"

"I am embarrassing you?" he angrily called out loudly. Asha's head whipped around, ensuring that everyone was still inside enjoying the party and not paying them any attention.

"N-n-no, that is not w-what I meant. I ju-" She stammered as she tried to adjust, shocked at his outburst.

"Your entire existence is an embarrassment to your tribe and this country but you want to lecture me? Let us not forget who is in charge here. One word and I expose you to this entire country... Let's see how long you and your beloved Panthers are in charge when the people realize what you are. Would you prefer that?"

"N-no, no. Of course not Hasani. I am sorry, I didn't mean to-" Asha tried to calm herself down, as frustration and fear spread inside her. Her panther banged at its cages, always on guard when fear made its appearance.

"It is bad enough I am forced to marry you, forced to have children with you. But now you want to lecture me as if I am the issue in this engagement? Like I am the problem. The problem is you and your affliction. The problem is that the only thing that makes you worthy to marry me or any poor soul in this country is your title. What would you be without that crown? Nothing, just an abomination that no one could ever love or care about."

Some say liquor causes people to say and do things they do not mean. While others believe it gives them the courage to say what was always on their mind. Asha had no clue which was true for Hasani as he lashed at her, but she guessed it was the latter. Either way, the knowledge that he was not fully in control of his words did not lessen their sting. Each felt like a stab wound through the small amount of self-esteem and confidence she had built over the last few days. Before this party, she still had some of the residual of her trip to the mountains, still holding tight to the belief that she was as worthy and special as M'Baku had made her. And now, it was like none of that had happened at all.

She sniffled and blinked back the tears threatening to spill over. She did not want to give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry.

"You disgust me. Now, I am returning to this party and I do not ever wish to have this conversation with you again. Do you understand?"

Asha nodded softly, whispering, "Yes. I understand."

He spared her one last look filled with so much disgust that it forced Asha to turn away from him before he strode back into the party unbothered. Asha leaned against the wall for a moment, still trying to hold back her tears. She realized that there was no way she was getting her emotions back under control enough to return to the party so she took off down the hall, heading toward her office.

The moment her door closed, she let out a strangled sob, leaning on her desk to stay upright. She quickly realized why Hasani got to her as he did... because he reminded her of _him._

_Asha walked quietly through the palace to dinner.When she arrived, her family was already seated. She sat in her seat in between her brother and Shuri._

_"Good evening Asha," her father nodded from the head of the table._

_"Baba, mama," she responded greeting her parents._

_"T'Challa and Shuri, do not forget you need to pack tonight for our trip to the U.N. for the summit. We leave in a few days."_

_Asha looked up from her food, face wrinkling up with confusion, "T'Challa and Shuri are going? I thought we were not allowed to go?"_

_"No. You are not allowed to go. T’Challa is to be king one day and Shuri will be going so your mother can look after her. You will stay here and the Dora and staff will look after you while we are gone."_

_Her head turned toward her older brother, his eyes were filled with sympathy. She was sure if she turned and looked at her five-year-old sister, her face would be similar. It was clear to her and T’Challa that their middle sibling was treated poorly compared to them who were doted on for their respective roles as heir and youngest._

_Asha’s heart fell slightly, she was not sure why she continued to be disappointed, this had been her reality since that dreaded day five years ago. "You should be used to it by now," a small voice whispered to her._

_She sighed, "Baba, I want to go, please? I promise not to use them, I can even stay in the hotel," she pleaded._

_"Enough Asha. You do this every time we go somewhere. You cannot go, you understand why you cannot go. You have proven that you cannot control it, you could hurt someone again." Her head bowed as the memories flooded back and her guilt with it. "I cannot have you come and reveal your abomination to the country or world."_

_"You are too hard on the child. She tries her best," her mother said quietly down the table to her father._

_"No! She does this all the time. I am tired of explaining myself to her. What happens when she reveals that she is cursed by Bast to everyone? We lose everything, they uproot this family and we lose control of the Golden Tribe and the mantle. Is that what she wants? How can I justify having one in the family after advocating for eradicating such a disease from our borders? Absolutely not."_

_She could not stop her body’s natural reaction to the verbal lashings her father threw at her. Tears welled up in her eyes as she stared down into her plate of food, her appetite diminishing by the second._

_"And see? Look, it is useless. She does not try. She cannot control it. She is a disgrace."_

_She looked down and saw wisps of smoke rising from her hands which were twisting in her lap. She closed her hands into fists, feeling the power growing too large to bear around so many people she loved. Her chair screeched across the floor as she got up and ran from the table, dinner forgotten. She didn't bother to acknowledge T'Challa who called after her as she left._

_Tears blurred her vision as she ran back to her room. It, like her existence, was isolated away from the other bedrooms of the Royal Family. She slammed her door shut and her small form immediately crumbled down to the ground sobbing. The harder she sobbed, the larger and wilder the flames grew, causing the sobs to grow even stronger._

_She banged her hands on the ground, trying to force the fire to die out in her palms. It did no such thing, only leaving evidence of her attempts with burn marks in the shape of hand prints on her carpet. "Why won't you stop?!" she practically screamed at her own hands as she prayed and willed it all to end. Her eyes fell on the small statue of Bast in the corner of her room._

_"Why would you do this to me? What did I do?" She angrily asked the black jaguar figure, looking it in its crystal eyes. She didn't understand. What could a 15 year old have done to deserve such a punishment? What could she have changed, done better as a baby, a toddler, a child for Bast to have shown her mercy? The day she realized she had powers at 10, she remembered it as clearly as if it was yesterday. That was the last day she felt the true love of her parents, the last day of her normal life. Her hand lifted and a ball of flames encompassed the small statue. It didn't burn, she knew it wouldn't, it was usually her outlet of pain when it all became too much and it still stood, unburnt._

_Through her sobs, she lobbed balls of fire at the statue, the flames encompassing it for a split second before dying out. Soon, she calmed down, her body's energy stores depleted. The tears stopped flowing, her chest stopped heaving and her anger dissipated. All that remained was her own exhaustion. She climbed into bed, her father's harsh words oscillating in her youthful mind._

_"Your father is right," a small voice told her. If her own family saw her as a monster, why would the country see her as anything different. She was not chosen, she did not deserve these powers. She wondered how many other children laid in bed hiding in shadows like she did, praying to a god that had forsaken them. She wondered if they prayed the same daily prayer that she did, the same mantra and pleads she uttered every single day for the last five years... a prayer to be normal._

"Asha."

Her body whipped around at the sound of the voice she longed for, that baritone that made her feel loved and deserving. She came face to face with the owner of that voice. Her hands quickly and shakily wiped the tears from her face.

"W-w-what are you doing up here? Not enjoying the entertainment of the lowlanders?" she joked weakly.

"These things are not really how I choose to spend my time. I only came out of respect for King T'Challa and..." his words died off as if he realized he shouldn't say the second reason out loud. "Doesn't seem like you are enjoying the party either."

"No," she chuckled lightly, "They are not really how I choose to spend my time either. I am ok, really," she added at the look of concern still etched into his face. Her words did nothing to diminish it though.

"The tears streaming down your face tell a different story. Forgive me for overstepping as I am about to but I heard him... heard what he said to you. You know those things are not true yes? You are deserving of all the greatness in this world."

She rounded her desk, hunching over with her hands balled in fists, head shaking as his words clashed with the thoughts in her head. "Do I know that? Because that is what my father used to tell me too... what every person downstairs would tell me if they knew what I truly was before they burned my family at the figurative stake. These powers... they are a curse."

"Wait what? All the things you said and did in the mountains, how can you _still_ think that?" M'Baku was shocked, genuinely confused. This was not the woman who flew off in that plane mere hours ago, all that progress vanishing before his eyes. 

"It is certainly not a gift!" She lashed out at him, voice rising as she emotionally unloaded on one of the few people that supported her. "I was not chosen, M'Baku! My brother... my father... his father... they won in combat, they went to the ancestral plains, possibly spoke with Bast herself before the herb gave them the powers to protect us. They were chosen! It isn't right any other way. It doesn't WORK any other way!" Her fists banged on the desk to accentuate her point as she ranted. "The only thing I know is that Bast doesn't care... if she did, she would have taken these powers away years ago. A life like this, it isn't worth it."

"Do you know how many nights I prayed to be like you? Begged to be anything else, begged to not be ordinary, to be chosen to better the lives of my people. Only to be denied every single time." She could hear the begging and pleading in his voice, the desperation for her to understand why none of this made sense. "And you stand there, with all the power in the world at your fingertips. And you would have Bast take that away from you? You would throw it all away to satisfy hate?"

"Without question."

"Wow..." he paused, reigning in his emotions. That outburst was not planned, was not what he wanted but he just didn't understand. He would never understand. "I g-guess you just aren't who I thought you were. I thought you were becoming proud of your powers, proud of who you were. You promised to come back and do something different."

"I t-thought it would be easy. I thought I could but it doesn't work like that. I was a fool to believe it would. We are not the Jabari M'Baku."

"I guess we were both wrong. I don't know why I bothered," he responded, avoiding her eyes. 

This disappointment in his voice made Asha's heart shatter into millions of pieces. She didn't want to hear it, not directed at her. Somehow, it hurt worse than the insults Hasani hurdled at her earlier, cut deeper than anything he or her father had ever said. The look in his eyes made her want to crumble.

M'Baku shook his head, feeling rather foolish. He really had thought they had made a breakthrough in the mountains, a real connection. He thought he was getting to witness a rare and great power blossom. He had been so excited to see her take that new-found confidence and assurance down the mountains and utilize it in her everyday life. He saw clearly that it was a mistake, that he wanted too much from her. His judgment clouded by his infatuation with her. There had been a small piece of him that hoped she would see that the grass was truly greener and choose a better life, choose him. But now he knew how wrong he was, how stupid yearning for things he couldn't realistically have made him.

He turned away from her to head back out the door when a small hand wrapped around his thick bicep and pulled him back. Her hands held him in front of her, forcing him to look down into her eyes.

"Those two days with you... t-t-they were the best of my life M'Baku. And I doubt I will see days like them again. B-b-but stolen moments in the mountains do not erase my life. A few days of standing in the sun does not outshine decades in the shadows. They just don't. I wish it were enough, I w-wish those beautiful moments on the training ground and on that cliff were enough to undo how I feel about mutants and my powers. You want me to be who I was in those mountains, and I understand that. I do. But she isn't real," her voice broke as she pleaded with him, begged him to understand why she had to give in, why she couldn’t be what he wanted. "S-she exists because of those stolen moments I will never see again. She can't exist outside of them. This is who I am... The only version I am allowed to be when those moments end and reality sets in again."

This was it... those consequences their past selves ignored and left for future versions of themselves. This was the crossroads they now stood at, yearning for moments they knew from the start could not last and a fantasy that could not be a reality.

His hand cupped her face, wiping away the tears that fell for him. "I don't believe that. I see glimpses of her in you... when you came to my home to uproot the usurper, those days in the mountains, tonight. She is in there, begging and fighting for release. Let her out Asha. There has to be more to your life than this," he gestured around the room. "A life marked with self loathing and secrets. You deserve more than this. She can exist here with work... just try, please."

His voice lowered, his hands wrapped themselves around her waist to pull her closer. As their faces inched closer together, the inevitable outcome falling on her, she let out a breathy plea, "M'Baku." Whether it was intended to beg him to stop or beg him to continue, he did not know and neither did she. But soon, their lips met and all that talk about who she could and could not be was out the window. He had successfully pulled her from one cliff and took her diving with him off another. She was falling, falling hard and fast into the sea of M'Baku and she never wanted the fall to end.

As their mouths explored each other, she felt him pour adoration, care and love into every second of that kiss. Every moment counted for the pair as they stayed caught up in the rapture of each other.

"Asha!"

The two broke away quickly to find a peanut gallery standing outside her office door staring at them. While Okoye, Shuri and Nakia all sported similar looks of shock and excitement, the same could not be said for her brother.

_Fuck._

"It is late. I should retire for the evening. I will see you all at tomorrow's council meeting," M'Baku muttered hastily before disappearing from her office as fast as his legs would allow. He gave her a last longing look before disappearing from view completely.

Asha leaned against her desk, eyes trained on the floor as she tried to think of how to explain what just happened to her captive audience. There was no time to really process what just took place, another stolen moment to add to their growing list. All she did know was that all these stolen moments were marked with consequences, and she wasn't sure any version of herself was prepared to deal with them. 


	4. Chapter 4

"What is going on with you? I mean... I have never known you to be this reckless," the king of Wakanda exclaimed as he wore a hole in the carpet of his sister's room, pacing back and forth endlessly. Asha rubbed her forehead, shame and frustration growing as her brother's lecture drew on minute by minute. 

"T'Challa, I said I was sorry. I do not need a lecture. Believe me, I feel horrible enough as it is!" She tried to say. First M'Baku... now him? She couldn't take this much disappointment from both of them in the same evening, her heart couldn't handle it. She felt a small, soft squeeze to her hand, knowing it was moral support from her sister. Asha smiled weakly but her eyes didn't leave their dead stare into her lap, she didn't want to look at any of them.

"Apparently you do! I asked you if you wanted out of this engagement, I gave you an out. But now, there are certain responsibilities and obligations that you can't ignore just because you feel like it. And it is just," he took a moment to catch his breath before continuing, "it is highly inappropriate as a new council member and advisor to create a potential scandal of this magnitu-"

"Yes, I am a cheater and a horrible person. The worthless trouble-making, embarrassing liability to the great Panther Tribe. I get it! I have heard it several times today and every day for most of my life, I do not need any more reminders from you!" Asha's voice raised to match her brother's and in anger she leapt off her bed, standing toe to toe with him. She could feel the rings on her hands working overtime to tame the beast within as her hurt from the last few hours transitioned to anger.

"Ok, ok! Asha, it is alright. No one is saying any of those things. T'Challa certainly doesn't think them," Nakia inserted quickly, walking over and placing a soothing hand on the young princess's back. The two siblings were no stranger to a squabble or two but this was beyond both of them. Unlike T'Challa, Nakia could see that all of this was a symptom of a deeper issue and they would not get to the bottom of it by shaming her choices. She sent a silent but reproachful glare T'Challa's way as she tried to calm Asha down enough to continue. "Perhaps you should go. We will talk to her," she added quietly, seeing the fractures the emotionally-charged evening had sent through the young princess. 

T'Challa hesitated, now understanding that he had misstepped and feeling as though an apology was due. But Nakia simply shook her head and motioned toward the door. He nodded before motioning for Okoye to follow and quickly exit the room. 

As soon as her door slammed shut, Asha felt the weight of the day heavy on her shoulders, causing her to sink down to the floor by her bed. She buried her head in her hands as she tried to stop more tears from falling.

_Haven't we cried enough today?_

"I would like to be alone, please," she whispered, muffled but still clear enough for the remaining two occupants of her bedroom to hear.

"No, we are not leaving you like this. Talk to us. What happened?" Nakia asked as she crouched in front of Asha. 

Asha didn't move or attempt to acknowledge her question. She knew what they really wanted and that was to unpack that kiss... the now infamous kiss. But what would Asha say? How could she explain it when she was hundreds of miles from understanding the complexity of her feelings toward M'Baku. She always thought love was supposed to be simple, easy, but this was anything but that. This was love, yes... she knew that much. But it was also passion, heartbreak, danger, and devastation. In two days, she and M'Baku managed to entangle themselves in a web of all those emotions and that kiss was right smack in the center. Asha did not have the capacity to unravel it all tonight.

Asha couldn't tell if she kissed him because she longed for affection, was angry at the guy she was supposed to be with, was desperate for a different life, actually loved him or because she just wanted to feel something other than sadness. Or if it was some combination of all those things? All of them came with an airplane worth of baggage that could not be reduced to the carry-on sized explanation they desired.

"Nothing happened... M'Baku was comforting me and we got caught up in the moment. That is it."

The women both knew she was lying, that she just wasn't willing to share. But still, they persisted. "Come on, Asha. We know you. And w-we understand what you are going through but you have to talk to us and let us in. Let us help you."

Asha scoffed, her sister's naivete almost made a laugh escape from her lips, "You don't understand. How could you possibly? Neither of you know what it is like to be despised or treated like an embarrassment. You have never spent a single moment in your lives as I have. You don't get it and you never will!" She lashed out at them. She stood up and turned her back to them, taking a deep breath to calm herself. "Please leave. Now. I wish to be alone."

"Asha.."

"Please do not make me have Alexis forcibly remove you. Just go, please." The shaky begging in her voice did the trick, leading both women out of her door. Asha slid back to her spot on the floor, tears making their silent trek down her face. 

She wished she had never allowed T'Challa to convince her to leave this room in the first place, wished she had never stepped a foot in the soft snow of Jabariland, and wished her eyes had never fallen on him. Then she would be happy... or at least, as happy as she was before and that would still be enough. She would be officially engaged in a week, existing in ignorance’s bliss. She would never know what true freedom tasted like, never know what true love felt like and so she wouldn't have to mourn it as she does now.

Sadness morphed into anger and frustration at everyone who forced her out of her safe isolation but didn't warn her that once you have seen light, it is impossible to go back to darkness. 

****

Asha tried to put a smile on her face as she sat in silence in the council meeting, but it was difficult to hide sadness when it is as deeply rooted as Asha's was. Your smile can be as bright as the Sun but it always still shows through in your eyes. She just wanted to retreat back to her room, not see him or Hasani who both sat in the circle of chairs branching out from her brother's. She also just hated being in these meetings to begin with, still feeling as though she didn't belong. It did not help that half of the circle... her mother, Elder Shani and her son all gave her cold reproachful looks that basically told her she didn't belong if she dared give her opinion. And now to make it worse, she felt like there was a giant, "I am a cheater" sign glowing above her head. 

She didn't quite understand why she felt so guilty, she knew Hasani never lost sleep over cheating on her. And his indiscretions were far worse than a simple kiss. But still, as she stole glances at both men, she felt guilty: guilty for cheating and guilty for bringing M'Baku into this mess. And she supposed her life's goal was to not be as carefree and uncaring as Hasani, certainly not the marker of a good person.

But she most wanted to talk to M'Baku, wanted to apologize or explain herself or... well, she did not quite know what she wanted to say to him. They said so much last night while simultaneously leaving so much unsaid. She questioned whether words would even matter at this point. But she felt the pull and desire to say something either way, just to hear the comfort in his voice, ensure that that comfort was still there. There was a stab of regret every time she considered the fact that she may have destroyed their friendship over a kiss, a stab that felt as painful as a physical wound in her body. But those were the consequences, she supposed. A moment of weakness in exchange for one of the few positive relationships in her life. 

"We cannot accept these terms. This agreement with the Jabari is an insult to your father's legacy and all who have fought to control the spread of such a disease in our borders," Elder Shani almost shouted from her seat in front of her brother. 

The argument ensuing around her snatched Asha's head out of the clouds and back down to Earth where she found the council entrenched in a loud and unruly argument. Asha quickly realized that the Elders had found the one clause in the treaty Asha buried deeply and had simply hoped would go unnoticed. But it seemed little got past Elder Shani, who likely read through it with a fine-toothed comb to find a mistake on Asha's part.

"This treaty is about respecting the Jabari's way of life and integrating it into ours. They have a different respect and custom for mutants or the Chosen, as I believe Lord M'Baku has referred to them. After conversations with my sister and Lord M'Baku, I will not ask them to change their customs and their ways. He has assured me that they will not be a threat to the ways in which we govern down the mountains." 

Asha and M'Baku gave her brother a side eye, knowing that he pulled that explanation out of nowhere. That part of the treaty was added last minute after M'Baku expressed concerns over integrating the Jabari's Chosen into a regressive society. She chose not to bring it up and prolong the talks, figuring her brother would not notice a clause buried so deeply in the treaty's many pages.

"And what if that changes? What if one of them comes down here and creates trouble?" 

"Asha, you met with the people of Jabariland, saw their customs in practice. What do you think?" 

Asha gulped, mouth going dry at the idea of having to defend mutants to the most hostile person in the room, the person who also knew her secret. She glanced at her brother out of the corner of her eye whose smirk clearly told her that this was a problem of her creation that she now needed to fix.

"T-t-the Chosen are a peaceful group of Jabari. They are no different than the non-gifted among them. They have absolutely no reason to fight or create trouble for us down the mountains. Their goal is to use their p-powers to help advance the tribe. It is my belief that they will not be an issue for us." 

"And what if their idea of advancing the tribe is overthrowing us and ensuring Lord M'Baku sits on the throne?" Another elder chimed in. 

M'Baku laughed loudly, as if the idea of wanting the throne was too preposterous to take seriously. "I wanted to be king of Wakanda once, yes, it is true. However, since then I have saved your rightful king, risked Jabari lives to overthrow a usurper, and put that King back on his throne. Without my people and I, Killmonger would still be alive and sitting in that chair. Seems like an awful lot of work when I could have just taken the Heart-Shaped Herb to become King myself and left King T'Challa to die. My interests no longer lie in leading this backwards nation." 

"'Backwards?'" Elder Shani shouted, outraged at the insult. "How dare you?" 

"Yes, backwards. A country that has all the resources in the world, offers all the opportunity in the world to its people and still finds a way to hold people back, to limit the power and ability of the more gifted among you. You can call us savages and insult me, I know what some of you say behind my back. But at least, the Jabari treat their fellow citizens with the respect Hanuman demands. When Bast calls you all home to the Plains... Will you be able to say the same?" 

"Enough! That is quite enough," T'Challa called, causing all the tempers to quiet down significantly. "Elder Shani, as always, I appreciate your counsel. However, the treaty is final. The Jabari will not be forced to comply with any law within the Mutant Regulation Act. Lord M'Baku and the Jabari proved themselves to be a loyal tribe of Wakanda ten times over and I will not have that loyalty questioned in this room again. I reserve my right as king to revisit any aspect of the treaty if, and only if, it becomes an issue." 

He and M'Baku shared a respectful head nod before T'Challa continued. "Thank you all for a productive meeting. Unless there are outstanding matters, we will reconvene next Saturday prior to the start of the Festival. This year's festival will begin Saturday night at the Falls for the announcement of my sister's engagement. Thank you all. Wakanda Forever." 

At the mention of her engagement, Asha glanced at M'Baku and she wished she hadn't. His body was rigid and she could almost see the rage radiating off him into the space. 

"Wakanda Forever," they all replied in unison, except M'Baku, as the meeting broke up. Asha turned around to pick up her tablet and notebook, mainly to avoid the death glare she was receiving from Elder Shani across the room. When she turned back, the older woman was in a huddled discussion with another elder and her mother. Their hushed whispers could not reach her ears but she knew it was likely nothing good. 

She kept her eyes trained on the floor as she walked, until she ran into the hard, broad back of someone. 

"Oh, I am sorry! I didn't see you th- M'Baku," she started to apologize to the unknown person until they turned around and she came face to face with the man she was desperately trying to avoid. She wondered if it would have been less painless to run into Elder Shani as she looked into his eyes, finding no more admiration and love there.

"Yes your highness?" His voice matched his eyes... cold and despondent, everything she didn't expect from him. She felt a sense of deja-vu to how he treated her prior to coming to the mountains. She remembered how it felt to be on the receiving end of his coldness and not understand why. She understood why now, but that didn't dampen the sting.

"U-uh, w-well I-I wanted to s-speak with you, actually," Asha stammered as she adjusted to all the things she was not used to from him... his coldness, formality and harsh tone. The silence between the stretched out as she tried to figure out what to say. 

"Well?" he barked. "I do not have all day, I am in a rush to return home." 

His tone hit her like a slap in the face. "N-never mind then, I hope you have a safe journey home." 

He nodded and saluted her with a pained look on his face before turning to head back down the hall. Her eyes glistened slightly, she felt the pressure of tears building behind them but she tried to push those emotions down. They both made their choices and here laid the consequences, she would learn to deal with them. 

M'Baku thought his feet could not carry him back to his carriage fast enough. He wanted nothing more than to flee this palace, and retreat to his own home to sulk and nurse his bruised heart. He thought they had started to build something... something beautiful and as quickly as it was put together, it crumbled. 

"M'Baku!"

He grimaced as he heard the unmistakable timbre of his king calling after him. He wanted so badly to ignore him and if this was a time in the past, he would have. But he respected T'Challa, and was growing to see him as something resembling a friend. So he pushed down his annoyance and heartbreak to speak to his King, praying to Hanuman that this was a short conversation. He almost jumped clean out of his skin to find the King directly behind him instead of down the hall. 

"My king?" 

"Leaving so soon?" T'Challa asked, his tone pleasant and airy, not like someone addressing the man whom he found making out with one of his younger sisters the day prior. 

"Yes, I have matters to attend to at home. What can I do for you?" M'Baku decided to cut the formalities short, he knew T'Challa did not stop him for that. 

T'Challa nodded, his face descending into a more serious look. "Are you in love with my sister?"

He eyed the look of surprise that passed across M'Baku's face before adding, "I speak to you not as King but as an older brother who just wants his sister to be happy. There is no wrong answer here. Are you in love with her?" 

"Yes," M'Baku replied shortly. There was not much else to say, this was all very simple to him. 

T'Challa gestured forward, allowing the man to continue his journey toward his carriage as they walked. "My sister always pretends to be happy, never complains about her horrible treatment at the hands of my parents or her regulation to being a prisoner in her own home. She always tries to hide it but it shows... it always shows in her eyes. They hold a certain sadness, or at least they have every single day for the last 15 years. The only other person on this Earth who I have seen with eyes like that died a few weeks ago. I couldn't save him, couldn't undo the injustices my family doled out upon him. But I... I can save Asha." 

"Forgive me, my King. But I don't understand what you want from me?" 

"When my sister walked off the Talon 24 hours ago, she looked like a completely different person. Joy and happiness radiated off her like light from the Sun. It was the first day I looked at my sister and didn't see that sadness. I do not have to be as smart as Shuri or as intuitive as Nakia to know who brought that about. My sister is in love with you. I want you to know that before you get in that carriage and resign to writing her off for the rest of your life. She is stuck between her heart and obligation, what she wants and what she has been conditioned to believe she should have. And Shuri and I are trying to help her but... As a brother, I-I am just asking you not to give up on her just yet."

As he finished, they reached his carriage. T'Challa did not wait for M'Baku to respond, he simply saluted him before turning on his heels to tread the same path back into the palace. Meanwhile, M'Baku just stood there staring after him for a while, another plan to forget Asha slowly sinking down the drain. 

****

"M'Baku!"

He tore his eyes from the mountains, ready to snap at the man foolish enough to interrupt him, only to find N'Danna standing not too far behind him. N'Danna looked annoyed as if he had been calling the chief's name for a while. M'Baku clearly hadn't heard him, trapped in a cycle of his own thoughts, the light wind blowing past, and the nighttime jitters of the forest.

He barely acknowledged his second-in-command, knowing his best friend would just come and occupy the empty spot next to him. And sure enough, he felt his presence beside him as the man dusted the snow off the odd-shaped, massive boulder M'Baku was currently sitting on and sat down beside him.

"You are a hard man to find since returning from the Golden City," N'Danna mused as he took his cue from his chief and began staring at the mountains in front of him. N'Danna supposed they were really just staring at nothing. He knew mountains were there, visible when the sun was high in the sky. But in such darkness, the best they could see was a vague outline. His gaze fell down to the village below that was still bustling with activity, lights branching out like veins in the darkness. "How long have you been out here?"

"Since the sunset."

"You have turned into somewhat of a sunset enthusiast. And why did you decide to come out here on the coldest night of the winter?" N'Danna inquired.

M'Baku shook his head, "I don't know. I have come here every night for the last three days. I say I am not going to come and still I find myself out here all night. Not sure what answers I expect to find out here though." 

N'Danna nodded, both men leaning back and laying against the rocks to look up at the midnight sky and twinkling stars. "This is a good spot to find answers I suppose. And being here probably makes you feel closer to her, right?"

The two men turned to each other and N'Danna let out a light chuckle at the disgruntled look on his friend's face. "I didn't even get that from your thoughts this time. Just an observation. You have been this way for the last few days, ever since you got back from Birnan Zana." Silence fell over the two for a moment before N'Danna spoke again. "Talk to me, M'Baku. What is going on with you? I have never seen you like this before."

When he didn't say anything initially, N'Danna assumed he opted to ignore his question. It wouldn't be the first time his friend chose to ignore things instead of addressing them. And so, after a few minutes of quiet, N'Danna returned his attention to the barely visible mountains ahead of them. He was surprised when he finally heard a response minutes later. 

"I fell in love with her," M'Baku stated out of the blue. N'Danna wished he could see beneath the Earth's surface, and get confirmation of his suspicion that Hell had indeed frozen over at this admission. M'Baku had been with many women in his 30 years of living and had never so much as uttered a word similar to "love" toward any of them, such a word was vacant from his vocabulary. Now N'Danna understood, he got it. His poor chief had fallen fast and hard for the first time and was left out in the cold, a cold he was not accustomed to. "And s-she rejected me. I was j-jus- And now she is about to be engaged... engaged to a man wh-" words failed him as he tried to verbalize how truly frustrating this all was. But his words resembled his thoughts, jumbled and disjointed as he tried to sift through the complex web he had woven. "About to live her life in hiding and secret again. It just does not make sense!" 

"Why does that bother you so much? It is her life to live. If she chooses to hide and waste it, what is it to you?"

M'Baku gave him an incredulous look, immediately standing from the boulder to pace beside it. N'Danna was a Chosen, M'Baku was baffled that he could not see the issue in all this, "Because she deserves better! She deserves what every person like her in these mountains has: the opportunity to be yourself, be raised to see the limitless power of what Hanuman has given you, the chance to do anything. That is what you have! That is what all of the Chosen have. It is not fair that she was stripped of that... Striped of that to be what? Someone of her power reduced to a rung on a ladder for a power-hungry shell of a man. It is not right."

"She is a princess, M'Baku, these obligations come with the territory. I am sure she is just doing what she thinks is best." 

M'Baku scoffed, "Screw the obligations of royalty! We are talking about a woman who possesses powers... a gift that these mountains - Hell I would wager the world has not seen in generations. She is a once-in-a-lifetime gift, limitless power at her fingertips. She is not ordinary, she deserves more than ordinary!" 

N'Danna sighed, sitting up. "You speak of the Chosen as if we are Gods and Goddesses M'Baku. That has always been the problem, this altar you exalt us to, you prayed to be one of us when you don't really understand the burden we all carry. Asha is not limitless, none of us are! Every Chosen in these mountains is taught one simple thing, one cardinal rule that is ingrained in us: Hanuman can take away any gift he has given. One misstep... one toe out of an invisible line that none of us know and we stand to lose it all. It is not as bad as registries and regulations, but it is not the freedom you think it is. Asha was raised to hide, taught to be ashamed of who she was. Her powers are not unlimited. They are faulty, complicated, powerful, rare, stressed, beautiful and malleable just as the woman who wields them. You are so blinded by the beauty of her powers that you cannot see the tragedy in it. And that is why you are so disappointed. Not because she chose another man, but because she is showing you that not everyone is happy to be gifted... not everyone wants it. She may be a once-in-a-lifetime power, I do not doubt that, but she is also a young girl stuck between impossible choices, stuck between realities."

M'Baku shook his head, "Being with me is an impossible choice? Following your heart, choosing a better life is an impossible choice? I showed her how life could be different. Ok, you say it is not freedom, fine. But it is so much more than what she has now. How hard of a choice is that?"

"Following your heart has consequences, running up here to be with you and throw fire around to her heart's content has consequences. And not just for her... for her family, for all of Wakanda. She is a member of the Royal Family, for Hanuman's sake, the weight of those obligations is heavy. P-people learn to love their chains M'Baku. Sometimes they become more comfortable, safer than what lies outside them. You offer her freedom but ignore the price of that freedom. Maybe she is not willing to pay it after only knowing you for two days."

M'Baku sighed and bowed his head, looking toward the forest to his left, the dark branches loaded down with fresh snow from the storm earlier that day. 

"I j-just... I want better for her. I thought I could help bring light into her life and maybe, I just don't know how to accept that I failed. I-I don't know how to go back to life before her," he admitted honestly. 

"Perhaps it is not all about you. You want her, and I understand that. But you did help her start down a path of self discovery. The Asha who left here last week is very different from the one who came here at first. She will find it difficult to retreat to her old life. Maybe you planted seeds that will flourish one day but you don't get to bask in the garden's beauty... it may not be meant for you. I know it is not what you want but you may have to accept that it is all you will get."

The two men stared at each other as his words settled in M'Baku's mind. This was probably the most honest conversation the two men had ever had in their friendship, N'Danna was the only person willing to tell M'Baku when he was wrong, push him down the correct path when he was stuck, straying or stalling to find it himself.

"The King asked me not to give up on her, not to push her away," he offered quietly, the grief of a love clear in his voice. 

"Then don't, if you don't want to. She is not getting married Saturday, merely publicly announcing her engagement. So much can happen between now and the altar. But until then, you can stop torturing yourself and all of us," he added with a joking tone and smile, "and let her go and let the chips fall where they may. If she is meant to be yours, Hanuman will bring her back." 

M'Baku nodded slowly. He looked over N'Danna's shoulder toward the center of the cliff they stood on. It was like a movie in front of him, he could see them clear as day. He wished he could go back to that moment, wrapped in the warmth of each other and deep in their own world. It was worth it, he decided, whatever heartbreak he had to endure the last few days or was in store for him moving forward. 

"Let us go home, M'Baku. You got the answers you need." 

M'Baku smiled at his friend and they both walked back to their individual carriages. Before it pulled off, he smiled sadly at that spot again, knowing he wouldn't be back here any time soon. N'Danna was right, Hanuman sent the answers he was desperately seeking. He just had to listen. 

****

Asha felt like she had blinked and suddenly the week was almost over. She was not complaining though. A busy mind meant she couldn't pine for M'Baku, grief the loss of him, or think about her upcoming public engagement, which made all of this official, not some back alley deal between their parents. Staying busy was the only way to keep those thoughts and her looming dread at bay.

She had to admit though, without the allure of M'Baku and Jabariland, Asha realized that her new job lacked a certain appeal. But... she felt like everything lacked a certain appeal these days. 

However, when darkness fell and the palace quieted, it hit her the hardest. She couldn't count on sleep to take her away from it all and sometimes, even the unconscious world was unsafe. She counted at least one dream a night that featured M'Baku in some fashion. 

And that is how she found herself after a particularly packed Thursday, laying in her bed, staring at the ceiling and praying to Bast to let her sleep. But no such luck. She tossed and she turned, and she thought of no one and nothing else but that man up the mountains and their last conversation. 

_It is clear that he is falling for you. You could escape... leave all this behind,_ the panther inside seemed to whisper, desperate to return to its life outside its cage. _You hate it here._

 _I don't hate it here,_ she argued back. _My family is here. Well, at least T'Challa and Shuri... Nakia, Alexis, Okoye - they are all here. I couldn't just leave them to deal with whatever wrath Elder Shani could unleash._

_But this isn't for you anymore._

The thought made Asha cringe a little, knowing she could never say that out loud. What would her siblings say? It would devastate them. But it was not untrue, she realized in those quiet, lonely and restless moments in the dead of the night. After her father's death, her life was supposed to get easier with less restrictions and a bit more freedom. Yet somehow, the chains felt heavier and tighter. Pretending to be normal had never been this... this hard. She felt like an animal being herded back into captivity after experiencing the wild, a life driven by its own desires. She did not realize what it would take to learn to re-love her chains, the pieces of her soul they siphon from her to do so. She shed them so quickly and willingly up the mountains, savored every second of the sweet freedom it offered her. And just like that she was back here, ripped out of her dreams into reality. She didn't expect it to be so hard truthfully... had no idea the pain she was preparing herself for.

She knew one thing though - this would never be enough, not after she experienced something different. This bastardized freedom her brother gave her just wouldn't do. It was the best he could offer, she certainly didn't fault him for it. But compared to what M'Baku showed her? This was merely a weak imitation. 

She pulled the fluffy white pillow from beside her on top of her face and screamed into it, loud enough to release her frustration but not loud enough to send Alexis racing into her room, spear raised. Annoyance rippled through her that her body would not just allow her the simple reprieve from this world for another, the downside of sleep being a mere luxury and not a necessity for survival.

 _This just isn't helping,_ she ultimately decided.

Her mind drifted around the palace, thinking of all the places she could go to distract her and pass the night hours. Shuri's private lab was an option but she knew the young girl liked to work through the night and was not interested in talking to anyone. Her mind wandered to the library, which was a solid option of unlimited solitude. But even that did not have a certain appeal, she just thought of him and how they first met. 

_The training center?_

There was an idea she could work with, a space that could not remind her of him. Besides, nothing cleared the mind like a good at was an idea she could work with. Nothing cleared the mind like a work out and thanks to her brother, she had a brand new, never been used training center of her own to test out. It was the only spot that offered any sort of appeal to her now. She slid out of bed and quickly changed her clothes.

Alexis stood at attention, saluting her before Asha told her where she was going and convinced her to take the rest of the night off. 

She walked across the palace and downstairs, entering the main training room and immediately heading for a discreet door on the back wall. One full body scan later and the door slid open for her to enter.

 _It was beautiful,_ Asha thought to herself as she walked around the room. It was long and slender unlike the expansive training room on the other side of the wall. The cushioned training mat floor was soft beneath her feet, the tall ceilings overheard would give her just enough space to practice sustaining flight, sleek walls embedded with blue flecks of vibranium that glowed lighting the room in a blue hue.

One thing did confuse her though, the lack of equipment. She looked around, trying to understand the mechanics of the space. It was completely empty, all except for the computer monitor across from the entrance. As if it sensed her presence as she approached, it immediately lit up and offered a menu of training modes for Asha to choose from. Asha slowly took her rings off, sitting them and her shoes together in the corner, before scrolling through the many options and settings. She didn't understand how any of them would work with no equipment but she never got a proper tutorial of the space. But she knew her brother was smart so she chose combat and figured that she would learn as she went.

She walked to the center of the room and on cue, the lights dimmed and suddenly, a hologram of a person came racing toward her. Asha barely had time to think or process before the attacker raised a digital weapon and a loud bang sounded across the silent room.

Before she knew it, a massive blast of air knocked her on her back and let her know that she had been hit. 

"Simulation over," a computerized female voice called throughout the room. "Assailant: 1; Asha: 0."

A small groan escaped her throat as she slowly sat up and tried to catch her breath. Once she was on her feet again, she called out, "Again," signaling for the simulation to restart.

She sank into a defensive position as the lights darkened again, focusing her eyes on the wall at the end of the room and preparing for the man to emerge once more. She watched, waiting as nothing happened. But soon, she felt a presence behind her. She turned quickly, not wasting precious seconds this time. She immediately threw a ball of fire at the figure causing it to crumble to the ground and disappear. 

She was so distracted watching the hologram disappear that she was surprised to feel a small blast of air hit her shoulder, directing her attention to a hologram on the window ledge. She was finally starting to understand the mechanics of combat mode, Asha killed that assailant next. This continued for 10 minutes, Asha dodging targets and their weapons. The simulation ended with another sneak attack, causing her to realize that any blow that would be fatal in the real world caused the simulation to cease. 

Still, as she heard the score back, she felt as though she had redeemed herself. Not that it really mattered, there was no one there to see it. Asha: 10, Assailants: 5 was not bad for her second round. 

Asha watched as the computer pulled up a heat signature of the room, red and orange on random spots around the room. She pressed a glowing "extinguish" button, which caused the room to release the targeted extinguisher to those spots, returning the room to normal.

Asha went through combat mode three more times, the assailants and patterns changing every time. They became more complex, she realized, the room analyzing her battle patterns and movements to push her harder. By her last round, Asha had kicked her powers into high gear, certainly more energy than she had ever used. But she looked like a skilled dancer instead of a clumsy fawn as she ran, jumped and dodged blasts across the room. She threw fire, caused diversions, hovered in the air to better examine the full field of attackers. She created life-sized fire panthers that chased down her attackers and killed them at her command like her own personal army. She even realized that once or twice, she could block the blasts with a fire shield, though she couldn't sustain it. The last simulation only ended when a voice overpowered the settings. Asha was directing a panther to attack three men who were running from it from her position in the air when she saw her brother leaning against the wall in the corner.

"Simulation over," the voice said again as Asha made the fire disappear and landed softly back on the ground. She did not acknowledge her brother initially, walking to grab her shoes and rings as the voice said, "Assailants: 3, Asha: 25."

"I was trying to get to 30," she called, realizing how out of breath and tired she was as she tried to talk and walk over to him. The room did a final extinguish of the night as they both moved back into the main training center. She sat down on the floor, exhausted, to drink some water. 

"I needed a training partner. Trust me, you looked amazing, you were just showing off at that point. I am surprised to find you down here. Have you ever even used it since I built it?" 

Asha's chest heaved as she caught her breath. She didn't understand how she felt this exhausted despite only training for an hour."Not since Baba. Figured now was as good a time as any. I couldn't sleep. You either?" She looked at the time on her beads: 3 am. 

"Nope. I woke up and tossed around for a bit before something told me that this was the place to be tonight. Now I know why. Train with me," he asked assertively. She knew it was not a legitimate question. There was only one proper answer when her brother wanted a late-night sparring partner. 

T'Challa powered up his suit, the only thing that would protect his skin from burns when practicing hand-to-hand combat with Asha. She sank into her battle stance, ignoring the exhaustion in her body. T'Challa was the better fighter, regardless of Asha's lethal abilities, because he practiced more and had super strength and speed. He knew all of Asha's moves and how to respond while it seemed she could never keep up with him. If he was being honest, these sessions were more for Asha than him.

After letting Asha win twice and beating her once, T'Challa let her fall back on the training floor to rest. 

"That was good, you are getting better," he offered as he sat on a bench next to her. She envied him, she looked like she had just stepped out of a pool of her own sweat while he looked as if he could walk into a state dinner, perfectly unruffled despite fighting for 30 minutes. 

"Thanks," she nodded. 

"How are you? I meant to check in earlier this week, see how you are enjoying your work." 

"The work is good T'Challa. I enjoy it. Everything is good," she responded lightly, hoping that would be enough to end the line of questioning she was sure was forming on his lips. They hadn't really spoken since the drama at the state dinner the week prior and she had been kind of avoiding him to keep it that way. She did not want to talk to anyone about this but something felt especially odd about going to her older brother about her love life. She knew T'Challa had his way, she would be single forever so no one could hurt her.

"Asha..."

She turned her head away from him, recognizing that tone. He was descending into full big brother mode, desiring to talk about her feelings and fix whatever problems he thought plagued her. Asha knew he meant well and he tried, but most of her problems... he actually couldn't fix. And this one would be no different.

"Talk to me. Everything is not good. You are not ok. You are different, we can all see it. Don't keep it all bottled up." 

Asha sighed, wiping the sweat off her forehead with the towel next to her, "If I could explain it, T'Challa, I would." 

"Try... for me. As long as it takes." 

"Before I went to Jabariland, the idea of leaving this palace terrified me. You know how resistant I was to take on this role in the first place. All I could think of is Baba saying that I was dangerous and all the ways I could hurt or kill people. And so, staying here, being a good princess and marrying Hasani... it was prison but it was a comfortable one. Over time, the chains hurt less... the frustration faded and I learned to love and appreciate the life I had. It was not the best but it was enough." 

"But then you experienced something different?" He offered. Asha looked at him, appreciating that he was giving her the opening to admit the one thing she thought she had to keep secret to spare his feelings. 

"But then I experienced something different," she echoed. "Thanks to you, by the way," she nudged him playfully. "Something life-changing. He pushed me to the edge and made me rethink everything I had thought about my powers before. Made me see beauty in the flowers where I only saw weeds. And then on top of that... I-I fell in love with him. So fast and hard like I jumped off a cliff. And then I came back here and... reality just hit me like a rhino. I am forced to hide... cannot have the man I love. I guess I j-just don't know how much longer I can do this."

"Do what?" T'Challa asked, pained by his sister speaking so despondently and knowing there was little he could do to help her.

"This," she whispered, gesturing at her hands. "Pretending to be something I am not, hiding the one thing that makes me unique. Every day I get up and I put these rings on and head down to my office, I realize that this is it. All I have to look forward to for the rest of my days is Hasani and a life in the darkness. It will never be enough. Just doesn't seem like much of a life to me anymore."

Asha stared at the wall across from them, a painting of Bast on the training room wall, while T'Challa stared at her profile. The two just sat there for a while, not saying anything at all, as T'Challa thought over what Asha said. It was not that he didn't want to say anything, he just couldn't think of anything appropriate. What do you say to someone who no longer thinks their future is worth it? 

"What can I do?" he settled on. He was a fixer, he could help her fix this and forge a path forward.

She offered him a sad smile, "I am not sure there is anything you can do, brother." 

"Nonsense, I am king," he boasted, causing the two to share a laugh. 

"Even kings have limitations, just like the rest of us." She stood up, holding out her hand to pull her brother to his feet. "Come, let us go to bed. There is so much to be done before the start of the festival this weekend." 

T'Challa nodded, knowing she was ending the conversation to avoid talking about it. He knew he would not sleep when he returned to his bed, instead he would be thinking of how to give his sister freedom, true freedom, no matter the cost.

****

"Did T'Challa tell you what this was about?" Shuri asked as they briskly walked down to the throne room, after being alerted of an emergency council meeting. 

"No. We were training together last night, he never mentioned needing to gather the council early. I asked Nakia, she said he didn't mention it to her either. You would think he would trust his most trusted advisor though? Titles mean less and less around here every day," Asha joked. She and Shuri shared a laugh as they entered and settled in their seats, finding most of the council already assembled. 

Their mother walked in followed by T'Challa, who looked grim and exhausted. She shared a confused and concerned look with her sister as they all did the customary salute before directing her attention back to her brother. She was so concerned that she didn't even have much time to lament over M'Baku who was sitting across from her. 

"Thank you all for coming on such short notice. I realize this is unorthodox but this could not wait. I was up for most of the night, thinking and praying about the future of this nation. After deep prayer with Bast, I realized I can no longer sit by while injustice runs rampant within our borders. That is why I will be announcing the repeal of the Mutant Regulation Laws at the Festival of Bast on Sunday, effective immediately." 

There was a beat of silence before shouts and anger erupted among the group as his words settled in the room like fog. The shouts overlapping rants of her mother, Elder Shani and two others were incoherent to Asha as they shouted at her brother. She was still trying to formulate a simple thought, his words were bouncing around in her mind but were having trouble truly sticking. Once she emerged from the shock of shock, she couldn't have been happier, repealing those laws would change so much for people like her. 

The Mutant Regulation Laws were a set of laws, initially enacted by Asha's grandfather and expanded by King T'Chaka, that attempted to limit mutants movements in the country and to limit the increase of the mutant population. The only people excluded from the laws since their inception were the Jabari.

As far as the public knew, the purpose of the laws were to protect citizens from enhanced individuals. The act stipulated that all mutants had to register with the government and general rules to limit the use of their powers, such as forbidding them in public spaces. This registry was first enacted in response to what her grandfather believed was an exponential increase in the mutant population across the four tribes.

The laws were divisive no doubt, like all controversial things. Many loved them, advocated for further expansions, feeling safe knowing that mutants could not inflict their powers on everyone else. The less vocal half, though, saw them as something that made them no better than the discrimination colonizers around the globe subjected their people to. However, only the Royal family knew the truth, that her father's reasoning for expanding the law had little to do with safety and everything to do with his fragile ego. 

As she got older, Asha quickly realized that her father didn't hate mutants because they were dangerous or threatened his country. He hated them simply because they were born with powers he had to win combat to get, powers he had to be deemed worthy for and earn. While they just woke up with them one day, having done no real work to deserve them. As the mantle of Black Panther and title of King caused his ego to grow, he grew equally paranoid that one day, mutants would begin to believe they were the ones actually chosen by Bast and invalidate the legacy of the Black Panther. As the population of mutants grew year after year, his paranoia that he would lose his title of King and Protector grew with it. Soon, a registry to merely keep track of the population was not enough. Soon, he launched a campaign to ensure mutants were the lowest rung on Wakanda's social order. Soon, the registry turned into laws to limit their abilities and resources funding research to find a cure for their affliction. 

In the previous council meeting, M'Baku had echoed the sentiments of half the country... that the policies were regressive and a dark stain on Wakanda. But Wakandans were humans, just like those on the other side of their borders. After being fed enough ammunition, people can be conditioned to hate anyone. 

T'Challa raised his hand to silence the group, adding, "Lord M'Baku was right, this is not the Wakanda Bast promised her people, at least not for everyone. Not for enhanced individuals, who are just as deserving of the same respect and opportunities as the rest of us. The Jabari and their enhanced people have lived in peace for centuries. We can do the same here." 

"Have you lost your mind??" Ramonda asked furiously from her seat next to her son. "That law is part of your father's legacy!" 

"Baba was a great king, but that does not mean he was always right. And on this, I feel he was wrong." 

"Half of your country sleeps peacefully because of those laws," Elder Shani cried, pointing out the large window at the city below. "Sleep peacefully knowing lethal people cannot murder them or hurt them with no thought. What would you say to those people?" 

"Yes and half the country sleeps less peacefully knowing that with all our technology and opportunities and advancement, we are no better than the colonizers who discriminate against people for their race or gender or sexuality. It is not right," Nakia interjected.

"You will end your father's legacy in one day. You will destroy everything he has built, the tribe and country he has created."

"The tribe and legacy he built on the backs of a brother he murdered, a child he abandoned and rampant discrimination of his people! Would that be such a bad thing?" Asha argued quietly, drawing the group's attention (and subsequently, their anger) toward her. She almost balked at the looks her mother and Elder Shani gave her but when she looked passed them, she was met with a reassuring and encouraging nod from M'Baku that empowered her to press forward. "This is a good thing," she asserted, shoulders squared and head held high.

"Of course you would think so," Elder Shani sneered. "I am sure you were the one that forced him to do this. People like you are destroying our country."

The room fell silent as the other elders stared shocked at their fellow member, seemingly surprised at her very vocal and unwarranted disrespect toward a member of the Royal Family. 

"Elder Shani! Princess Asha is royal advisor to the King, our princess. Apologize at once!" Elder M'Kathu exclaimed.

"I shall do no such thing! The only thing that makes her worthy to sit before us is that crown on her head... her title. She is beneath me, beneath all of us," she spat at Asha, staring at her with such contempt. 

Asha sat rigid in her chair as her future mother-in-law threw her vitriol at her. Asha wondered if this was how out-of-body experiences felt. She could so very clearly see where this train was going, see how her life's secret was about to implode before her eyes in a manner of moments but she could not direct her mouth to say a word or her limbs to move. She just sat, paralyzed and silent, unable to save herself or stop the train that was about to carry her whole family off a cliff. 

"Elder Shani... I would think about what is at stake before you say another word to or about my sister," T'Challa threatened, his voice low and deadly. For a split-second, the room saw it - a king no longer sat before them, the Black Panther did. For most, this would have been enough to slam on the brakes and beg for forgiveness. But it seemed Elder Shani was done, tired of pretending to respect someone she felt was beneath her, tired of keeping a secret for a person she despised. And her hate would not be outweighed by her greed any longer, she clearly couldn't take it.

"I told your father! I told him, warned him of the damage you and your affliction would cause him. Even from the grave, you destroy him and taint his legacy. Your kind... your disease destroyed him and it will lead to the end of Wakanda! You are a threat to us all." She took a deep breath before continuing, "Princess Asha is a mutant! The Panther Tribe has been hiding it, lying to their people for decades. Hiding her and t-this abomination from us all! And now she has our King under some spell, convinced him to uproot all the safety and security we have worked so hard to build."

As she spoke, Asha could feel rage rising in her body. It was steady, slowly building with every word that fell from Shani's lips as she spewed her hate and vitriol for all to hear. She tried to calm herself, control her breathing and emotions as she sat there, push them back down so she could get through the night. But it was proving to be impossible. The metal bars of her panther's cage were meaningless, being torn apart like pieces of paper as her emotions reached their peak. 

"That is enough! Take her away!" T'Challa stood before her, directing the Dora to come and escort Elder Shani from the room. 

Asha held her head in her hands as she took sharp, shallow breaths. Her whole body shook as she tried her hardest to not lose it in front of her family and the remaining members of the council. 

"Asha." 

She heard Shuri's voice and felt her hand on her shoulder causing her to jump up. Everyone seemed to back away from her immediately, causing Asha to notice the smoke and small flickers of flames erupting from her hands. The rings around her fingers were completely useless as the flames continued to grow steadily. Asha could only recall one moment in her life when she felt this out of control, the day her brother died. 

She got up and backed away to put some distance between her and the rest of the group. "Stay back!" she yelled through her gasping breaths, holding her hand out and inadvertently causing flames to fly toward her family. The Dora around the room instinctively lifted their spears, the remaining elders fled to the opposite wall as far from her as possible. But her family remained where they were, M'Baku being the brave soul to ignore her direction and approach her, unbothered by the uncontrollable fire escaping her body. Fire that grew stronger and bigger as Elder Shani's words cycled through her brain nonstop, causing her despair and rage to grow. Years of ignoring her emotions, years of trauma and abuse were finally boiling over. Tonight was the final push off the cliff, she could not do this anymore. 

"Asha.. you have to calm down," M'Baku whispered, motioning for the rest of her family to stay behind him. He wished he could get her to look into his eyes but as he looked at her blood-red irises and the tears streaming down her face, he realized she looked without truly seeing. "You are none of those things. You are beautiful and powerful. You are not dangerous. Don't become what they fear you are."

She heard his voice, understood the words he was saying but she didn't believe them, not when 25 years of abuse cycled in her mind to counter it. She looked around the room and all she saw was fear, proof that her home, the place she loved would never truly accept her. Elder Shani proved that. She had freed her from hiding but she also ensured that Asha couldn't stay here anymore, not when people looked at her like what she always feared she was: a monster. 

She couldn't do it, wouldn't do it, didn't have the strength to subject herself to it any longer. This was her out and she was going to take it. She looked from her family to the window across from her. 

She didn't think about it, didn't consider the mechanics. She just tore herself from the wall she backed herself into and ran toward the window. Her body lifted off the floor into flight as she used a blast of fire to cause the glass to break open for her.

"Asha no! Come back, " She heard her sister call after her. She turned back and looked at them once as she used all the energy she could muster to fly away from her, her family, her home and her past for good. 

Night had fallen during the course of that meeting, giving Asha a nice cover so no one could see her flying overhead. She zoomed out of the dome quickly, her mind not even conjuring up a location or place to go. She just wanted as much distance between her life and her as possible, knowing she would run into the border at some point. 

The wind painfully whipped against her face, causing her eyes to blur so she could barely see where she was going. In her emotionally-heightened state, it proved difficult to sustain flight as she passed over the uninhabited forests of Wakanda. As she tried to sort through the wreckage that was her life, she could not concentrate on her task, which caused her to lose height or speed every few minutes. And it just became harder and took more energy to accelerate and regain the height she lost every time she had to refocus. 

This cycle lasted for about 20 minutes before she had to reckon with this hastily made choice. She had no idea where she was or if she was even still in Wakanda, all she saw was forest. She figured she must still be in the country, she couldn't fly that fast. In a short time, the explosive anger that coursed through her in the throne room was long gone, replaced with very real fear. Fear that taking an impromptu flight with no direction, after only one lesson, and without telling one living soul where she was headed was the worst decision she had ever made. 

She realized soon that she had no choice but to turn around and pray to Bast that she could sustain flight enough to get back to civilization. This was not sustainable and she knew it. She frantically looked around for a landmark in the trees, anything that looked familiar and could provide her a spot to rest before finishing the journey. She spotted the temple by the Garden of the Heart-Shaped Herb, silently thanking Bast and deciding that it would be as good of a spot as any to catch her breath. She headed in that direction. However, like a real fire reaching its end, Asha could see her internal fire slowly dying out. 

"No don't do this, we are almost there," she begged herself as the fire encompassing her hands and feet started to die away as well. Her mind felt cloudy and it was a struggle to keep her eyes open. Before she knew it, her eyes fell closed, her fire having died out completely, and her body fell gracefully from the sky before thudding in a small clearing in the forest at the foot of the Temple of Bast. 


	5. Chapter 5

M'Baku's hands painfully clutched the sides of the window, half of its shattered glass scattered around his feet. His eyes were transfixed on the path of smoke slowly dissipating into nothing like he was hypnotized, as if his intense stares alone could bring the woman who flew out the window moments prior back to him. Every second that passed and every mile she traveled farther away from home and him, his frustration and rage at the people left behind grew. It only took moments, barely enough time for the group to catch their breath and truly process everything that transpired, for his rage to boil over. 

"I hope all of you are happy," he said slowly, voice quiet and deadly as he turned around to face Asha's family and the remaining council members. Despite being in the presence of the Dora and the Black Panther, most of the group shrank in his shadow. Usually, M’Baku’s bark was bigger than his bite, not nearly as terrifying or intimidating as his appearance would have someone believe. But it seemed his gentle giant personality flew out the window with the love of his life and before them stood, simply, a raging giant. 

"Excuse me?" T'Challa asked as silence fell over the group. "Are you blaming this on us?" T’Challa was frustrated, already internally blaming himself for how utterly spectacularly his plan failed. He genuinely thought he was helping, and perhaps foolishly, did not even once consider this outcome. He expected outrage, anger, of course. No decision he made came without those from someone. But this? This type of catastrophe? He was wholly unprepared. But he did know that hearing someone voice the thoughts already swirling around in his mind caused rage to flare up in him.

"Well, who else is to blame King T'Challa? _You_ are the ones who were forcing her to hide and pretend and lie. _You_ all created t-this system that treats her like a second-class citizen, that allows people like that woman to attack her. What in Hanuman's name did you expect? That she would be able to sit here and take that all her entire life?" M'Baku yelled, his voice booming, vibrating throughout the large throne room. 

"Not that I need to justify the choices of this family to you or anyone, Shuri and I have been trying to help Asha. You wouldn't even know her, wouldn't be able to sit and judge us if I had not forced her to join the tribe and take that job in Jabariland in the first place! She didn't even want it. You have known her for what? A month? We," he emphasized, gesturing toward the sister he had left, "have been here by her side her entire life!" T'Challa voice raised to match M'Baku's as the men traded verbal jabs at the other, neither willing to shoulder the blame the other carelessly tossed at their feet.

"Yes, and some help the two of you have been while she was being emotionally abused and mistreated in her own home. This," he scoffed, "this isn't a life! What you and your parents forced upon her isn't a life. And you didn't fight for her to have the life she deserved. From where I am sitting, you never have. If you had, it wouldn't have taken 25 years. If you had, she would not have felt the need to flee out of your window to Hanuman knows where!"

"And what of you hm? Did you ever stop to think about why Asha didn't flee up to the mountains to be with you the first chance she got? Since you know her so well... since you offered her freedom and a real life that we didn't? Because maybe Asha understood what it could cost all of us, maybe she understood there are larger obligations at play. But you don't care about the cost! To us... or to Asha for that matter. You don't care about what is best for her and her family. You just care about her being who you want her to be. You don't love her for her, you love her for her powers. How is that any different than Hasani? Or my father who demanded she be who they wanted?" He took a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself before adding, "If you knew my sister as well as you think you do, you would know that she would never choose to sacrifice this family for herself." 

"I knew you didn't deserve to be King, time and time again you prove that you are just a boy. A child who has no concept of leadership," M'Baku spat. "Because if you did, you would have been willing to sacrifice it all for her. It would never have to be her choice! You all had countless opportunities to do something different, to avoid the consequences of being indifferent to hate. When your parents or the Council plucked at the threads holding your sister together, you did nothing. Because you do not care about her, you only care about your family's grip on power, just like your father." 

T'Challa's eyes flashed red as M'Baku's words sank in. A king no longer stood before him, the Black Panther and a very overprotective brother did. His suit instinctively wrapped its protective fibers around his body, launching him into attack mode. The only sounds in the room were sharp breaths and the collective bang of the Dora banishing their spears, ready to defend their King if needed. There was no room for God, Bast or Hanuman as the safe space separating the two vanished completely. Verbal blows were over, physical ones were zooming toward them with the speed of a panther as T'Challa said in a low voice, "Do. Not. Ever. insinuate that I --"

"Alright, enough boys, enough!" Nakia yelled, cutting off her boyfriend and pushing her way between the two men. Her hands pushed against each of their chests to force them apart. She didn't expect to actually move them, and she didn't, but it gave them both a physical signal to retreat to their figurative corners. They could argue all day if they wanted but Nakia knew it would be a worse end to an already terrible day if T'Challa killed one of his council members.

"You are all dismissed," she called out forcefully to the remaining council members, who no one else seemed to realize were still there. They all seemed to be too invested in the drama, feeling that the council meetings had gotten far more interesting now that T'Challa was king. And though Nakia actually did not have the authority to end any meetings, they all scampered, quickly gathering their things to leave. Once the last soul exited, leaving M'Baku and the Royal Family behind, Nakia added, "We all failed her and so we all shoulder the blame for this. Had we not... she would here and not... not lost. Arguing over who failed her the most and who loves her the most won't help us find her or help us get her back. So, let us focus on that for now and then Asha can tell us all how much we failed her in person. Agreed? Good." She answered herself, not waiting for either man to respond before redirecting her attention to Shuri. "Now, Shuri, can you trace the signal from her beads?"

Shuri had been silent those far, watching the two men argue from the window. She wiped the stray tear or two from her eyes as she walked back to her original seat and picked up her tablet. After a couple of seconds, a large-scale 3-D map of Wakanda was projected at their feet. The group moved out of the way to get a better view, looking down to see a thin red line labeled "Princess Asha Udaka" appear and slowly zigzag its way out of the inner dome around the Capitol. The dot traveled a short distance in the wilderness before stopping abruptly above the Land of the Heart-Shaped Herb.

"Her trail ends here," Shuri stated, pointing at the end of the line. 

"So she is there?" M'Baku stated, half as a matter of fact statement and half as a question. "Let us go and get her." 

"I didn't say she was there. I said her signal ends there," Shuri snapped back, understandably still angered at M'Baku's earlier attack as they were directed at both she and T'Challa.

She continued tapping away as Nakia said, "How is that possible? Override her tracker bead and find her that way."

"I am working on it," Shuri responded immediately, clearly agitated. There was silence as Shuri tapped away on her screen, eyes growing bigger. 

"What is it, Shuri?" T'Challa asked.

"She destroyed her beads, either accidentally or on purpose. We won't be able to find her this way."

"How do you know that?"

"Well, if she manually turned off her tracker, I would be able to override it but I can't. And right before it stopped transmitting a location, her health bead sent out a distress signal, then stopped tracking and recording all health data. That bead never turns off, it can't. It records everything to the minute. So, best guess, and my guesses are usually never wrong, she destroyed them." 

"I thought you couldn't destroy vibranium?" M'Baku asked, not truly understanding how the beads or vibranium worked. 

"You can destroy anything if you have something powerful enough. Asha's powers certainly aren't enough to destroy vibranium, you know - reduce it to atoms. But with enough sustained fire, it can melt. And the beads are made of more than vibranium. Once exposed to an open flame for too long, the tech can be rendered useless. The point is, her beads won't help us. She could be fine and not want to be found. But... she could be hurt and be unable to tell anyone. We just don't know, so we have to find her the old-fashioned way." 

"She didn't leave Wakanda, nothing has crossed the exterior border in the last hour," Okoye offered as she checked a log on her beads. 

"So aside from the border, where could she be headed in that direction? Any place of significance to her?" 

"That path is on the road to everywhere significant. The border, Warrior Falls, Jabariland, the Hall of Kings... It also depends on if she is looking for a place to be alone for a few hours or shelter for days. The mountains could give her shelter but who would she go there for besides you? Warrior Falls is her favorite spot but she won't find shelter there." 

"And I doubt she would choose to go to the Hall of Kings," Shuri added. "It houses the Garden of the Heart-Shaped Herb," she added for M'Baku's benefit. "No one has been there for over a month. After Killmonger destroyed it, the priestesses refused to return, saying Bast cursed the land." 

"My son... perhaps we should just let her be," Ramonda offered, approaching the group from her seat off to the side. Everyone's heads turned, almost as if they forgot she was even in the room. Her words coupled with the almost annoyed look on her face caused a cloud of anger to settle over the group once more. 

"What? How could you suggest such a thing, Mama?" Shuri asked in disbelief. 

"Your sister can only bring this family ruin. Why bring her back here to further destroy everything? Whatever she is searching for outside of this palace may be what is best for her." 

"Asha is our sister. She is a member of this family, a leader in this country. The only people who have destroyed everything are you and Baba for creating this mess. We are finding her and we are bringing her home." 

"I am just sugg-" 

"That is the end of this discussion. And you would do well to never make that suggestion in my presence again." His tone almost as lethal and harsh as the one he banished Elder Shani with earlier. T'Challa turned his back to his mother before continuing, "M'Baku and I will take the Talon and clear every inch of Wakanda like a grid. The body scans will identify her tattoo. You all stay here in case she returns."

He did not wait for confirmation or approval from anyone else for a plan, deciding if someone had a better idea then they would have said it already. He motioned for M’Baku to follow him out of the throne room without another word. 

****

The ride on the Talon was virtually silent as the airplane piloted itself and T'Challa intently examined the sand table in the middle of the ship that reflected the passing landscape beneath them. He transitioned for pacing, throwing aggressive glances at the table, to standing hunched over it, staring at the sand disheartened and frustrated. The sand rapidly transformed into the different trees and rivers they passed over and people they passed over, all the dark gray color of the sand. T'Challa warned M'Baku that they would be waiting for purple sand, that it would be her. M'Baku let T'Challa do that while he just stared out of the window at the sea of black as if he could see Asha's body in the darkness. 

"Why do you love her?" 

M'Baku wondered if T'Challa got pleasure out of asking him deep questions out of the blue. "What's not to love?" M'Baku asked, not looking away from the window. At the returning silence, he grinned slyly and glanced back to see a very unsatisfied look on his face. He understood, understood the question and its purpose. If his thoughts were any indication, perhaps T’Challa worried that he was merely infatuated with his sister, not actually in love with her. He knew he did not need to but he did care about convincing T’Challa that that was not the case here. That his love was real and not some childish fantasy or obsession with magic.

"You know I noticed her at your challenge. There I was, down the mountains for the first time in my life, determined to die for that throne. And when I looked at the crowd, she was the first thing I noticed. My eyes drew to her like a moth to a flame. It was fleeting though, I could only focus on her for a second for there was fighting and honorable dying to get on with. And then the first time I saw her... truly saw her, in Jabariland… I mean, Hanuman. I have been with a great deal of women in my life but I had never seen one like her before. I saw it - that sadness you spoke of. But I also saw fire, passion, fierce determination. What do I love about her? I love the way you can see her heart soar at every compliment or kind word. I love the way her eyes, already filled with fire, light up when she discovers something new about herself. I love how she values family despite hers being so fragmented. I love that she is so dedicated to Wakanda, loves Wakanda so deeply despite not receiving that love in return. I love her quiet strength, her endless compassion."

He paused for a few moments, turning around to lean back against the wall of the ship. A hearty laugh escaped his lips as he stared across the ship at nothing. "You know the first time I realized it?" he asked as he walked up to T'Challa, looking down at the sand table. "We uh... we have this small cliff across from the Lodge. From there, you can see the best view of the sunset in all of Wakanda. To most of the tribe it isn't anything special, truth be told. Myself included, having had access to it my entire life. It became mundane and ordinary. But Asha, she likes sunsets so I took her there while she was in Jabariland. And you could see her whole being fill with joy and excitement, like this ordinary, mundane cliff was the best thing she had seen in her life. I don’t know, up until that point, I had tried to keep my feelings at bay. I didn’t deserve her I told myself. But the idea that she could love something so boring and ordinary made me feel like maybe she could love someone who was boring and ordinary. Who did not possess the power she did.” 

The two men fell silent for a moment, T'Challa not knowing what to say. After a few minutes, M'Baku added, "You were not totally wrong earlier. When I was young, I wanted so desperately to be like her. I would pray on my knees until they ached to be blessed with a gift. I thought I had grown out of that. But your sister... I just wanted her to see what I saw, to accept the freedom I could offer, to choose me. Because if she chose me, if she could love me, then maybe I was not as ordinary and boring as I always felt. But I didn't think about the cost to her or you all, what was the cost to mere mortals in the face of her powers? But that... that selfishness isn't her way. All I saw was two people who were wholly unfulfilled. And I was so desperate for her to be mine so I could fill us both… so she could be free and I could be a part of something that was not ordinary that I never stopped to consider that maybe it is time for her to be hers. Time for others to stop forcing their wants on her and that includes me."

T'Challa simply stared at him, not expecting even half of an answer as detailed, nuanced and passionate as that. “I-I am sorry. For the throne room,” he started to say but M’Baku stopped him. 

“We both said things, things I know I regret and you did not deserve or earn. Let us leave them in the past, yes?” M’Baku asked, extending an olive branch to his king. T’Challa nodded but before he could say anything else, a flash of purple sand caught his eye. 

"I found her!" he called out. 

M'Baku moved quickly to the sand table where purple sand was interrupting the field of gray while T’Challa directed the Talon to turn around and slowly lower to hover above the trees. "She is in front of the Hall of Kings." 

M'Baku touched the purple sand that represented her horizontal body, expecting it to crumble in his hand like sand usually did to but it remained solid. He held it in his hand, silently pleading with Hanuman that she was alive and well.

"We cannot get any closer?” M’Baku asked as T’Challa activated his suit and motioned for him to follow him down the ramp. 

“Out of respect for Bast’s whole place, we do not fly or hover the Talon directly over the Hall of Kings or its immediate surroundings. 

M’Baku nodded then questioned, “Any idea why Asha would come here?"

"My father used to come here and pray. Only the Panther Tribe and those who tend to the Garden are even allowed here. It is sacred ground. Asha has never even been here." 

"And they believe it is cursed now?" M'Baku asked, an eerily feeling falling over him as they moved through the darkness with little light to guide them. But he could not tell if that was because the land was actually haunted or because he was simply overthinking after what Shuri said. 

"That is what the priestesses have told us... that Bast was enraged at the destruction of the Garden. Everytime they come here, they say they are overcome with dark thoughts, visions of Bast. They hear cries and rustlings in the trees," T'Challa answered.

"And you believe them?" M'Baku pushed a low hanging branch out of their way as they approached the clearing she was supposed to be in. "I do not hear anything."

"The priestesses have tended to this garden for most of their lives with Zhuri. It is their whole world. They have no reason to lie," his voice trailed off as the reason for their journey came into view. "Asha!"

T'Challa and M'Baku raced forward when they saw her body in a heap on the forest floor. As they approached, T'Challa quickly inspected the area and noticed the scorched black Earth branching out from beneath her body, her lack of shoes, and the cuts littering her arms and legs. Her face was hidden from view, covered by all her braids. She was knocked out cold. M'Baku reached her first, recognizing that T'Challa should have due to his enhanced speed, but understanding and appreciating the gesture. 

M'Baku knelt down into the soft earth beside her, gently shifting her head so her face was facing up. He was startled at the lack of warmth in her body. Usually the girl felt like a furnace but now? She was as cold as ice. M'Baku felt her coldness as if someone had replaced his own blood with ice. He was so sure, convinced they would find her alive and well, probably too convinced. He had not prepared himself for any other possibility, refused to even consider it. Now all the other possibilities were vying for his attention, demanding he reckon with the reality that Asha was no goddess at all... she was human, a mere mortal like the rest of them. 

"Check her pulse," T'Challa said, his voice even and cold. He knew from the way M'Baku held her cheek, the way the man seemed paralyzed that all was not right. He had not allowed himself to consider this either, forced the thought out of his mind every time. But staring at her, wishing for a different scenario would not change the current outcome. They needed to know and prolonging it would not ease their pain.

M'Baku nodded, signaling that he heard the question. He couldn't get his mouth or vocal chords to work enough to verbally respond. He took a deep breath, sent a silent prayer to Hanuman before starting to move his hand down to her neck to find a pulse. For a moment, he thought back to their time in the mountains, that sunset on that cliff. It truly was a perfect moment, a perfect stolen moment that ended too quickly. Asha seemed to believe that was all they were, all they would get: a selfishly seized stolen moment that was not actually in the cards for either of them. But M’Baku refused to believe that as he prayed to Hanuman. He prayed that life, no matter how strong or feeble, would still pump through her veins when his fingers pressed into her neck. Because he knew she deserved more… and he knew that they deserved a lifetime of moments designed especially for them and freely given to them to fulfill. 

****

Asha groaned as she opened her eyes, shifting a bit as she registered the hard forest ground beneath her and the pain radiating through her body. One look at the sky above her caused her to sit up quickly, completely ignoring the immediate frustration and pain born from crashing to the ground. She quickly noticed several things that were not as they should have been. It was pitch black outside when she left the palace but now? The sky was ablaze with deep hues of purple and blue, lights that moved across the sky like a living organism. If she were not so perplexed, she would have been content simply lying there to admire its beauty. 

She didn't even really understand how she got here - she crashed in the forest, that much she remembered. But now? She was surrounded by tall swaying grass like that of the Alkama Fields, not the towering thick trees and greenery that surrounds the Hall of Kings. She stood up quickly, dusting the dirt off her purple dress and turned from side to side, trying to notice any landmarks or buildings that would help her discern where she was now.

She walked a few paces ahead of her before an eerie feeling settled over her causing her to stop in her tracks. There was nothing out of the ordinary ahead of her and yet, the hairs on the back of her neck stood at attention. She turned around slowly, the sight behind her rendered her speechless. And thank Bast it did or else she would have let out a blood-curdling scream and she doubted theblack panthers staring at her from this tree would have appreciated that. She counted 10 or so of them as her eyes swept across the tree frantically. Her legs turned into jelly as examining stares passed between her and the majestic but deadly creatures. They seemed to regard her with interest, while Asha was too busy looking from the tree to the very short span of grass that separated them.

_That is an easy leap for any one of them._

Asha's mind started racing, trying to access years of knowledge about Panthers and quickly sift through it all for something that could help her. As if her knowledge was a roaring rapid, the facts flew past her at an unnatural speed, uselessly until one old legend jumped out at her. Many believed that the Panther Tribe had a deeper connection with all panthers, those on the island and those in the wild, and so no panther would ever harm them. However, now seemed like a poor time to test that theory in Asha's opinion.

She pushed down with her hands, deciding that flying was far safer than walking and would help her find her way home. However, much to her shock, nothing happened. She tried again, facing scrunching up in intense frustration and concentration as she tried to force fire out of her extremities to gain flight. But she couldn't even get sparks... she was completely and utterly powerless. She groaned softly in frustration, not understanding how she was rendered powerless - something she had hoped and prayed for - the one time she actually needed them.

As she stood there examining her hands, her legs started to feel warm. She ignored it initially, hoping it was her powers finally starting up again. That was until the unmistakable smell of smoke reached her nose. She looked behind her and realized the grass around her was slowly catching on fire.

"Oh no," she said quietly, trying to wave the flames away, using all the tricks she knew to absorb fire but nothing worked. She backed away from it, edging closer to the tree of panthers who seemed completely unperturbed by the fire coming closer to them. Every time she tried to channel her powers and absorb it, it grew larger and spread faster. Soon, she was surrounded. Asha covered her mouth with her arm, trying to avoid breathing in the smoke that was now obstructing her vision. Deja-vu poked through the haze of panic settling over her - she had been here before.

She lifted a hand to the flames, praying that she, at least, still had her ability to touch fire and be unharmed. But that proved to be wishful thinking as well. She cried out in pain as the fire burned her skin and caused the palm of her hand to turn red and immediately blister.

She clutched her burning hand to her chest, tears flowed freely at the throbbing pain radiating from it. She had never known the pain fire caused and now she wished she still didn't. She looked around wildly, trying to find an escape from the blazing inferno that seemed intent on killing her. With no other plan or recourse available to her, Asha simply yelled out "Bast! Help me!" Who else was there to seek help from at this point? There was no living soul anywhere near her, she was sure of that.

She was just about to close her eyes, resigned to dying alone in this inferno far from home, when a glowing light caught her eye. She looked up and the smoke seemed to clear just enough for her to see a panther approaching her through the flames. If Asha hadn't been so awestruck, she would have collapsed with fear. This was no ordinary panther, she realized. Its skin appeared to be made of diamonds, glistening and shining in the light of the flames, and was as tall as Asha herself. It walked through the flames as if they were nothing more than colorful air that had no effect whatsoever. When it was close enough, Asha was able to look in its eyes. They were a rich purple, almost like someone hand-picked the finest jewels and plucked them in its eyes. It reminded her of something, something distinct that she couldn't quite put her finger on with the haze of panic around her. 

_Bast._

She didn't know how she knew but she knew. It couldn't be anyone else. 

She and the panther stared at each other for, what Asha considered to be, an uncomfortable amount of time. Asha realized how often she blinked as she stared into its jeweled eyes, examining the intensity in which this animal tilted its head from side to side to study her. 

"If you are Bast, give me a sign? Or you know... be quick about it if you are going to kill me?" She whispered, laughing uncomfortably to herself. She wondered if she was losing her mind, here in this unknown place trying to escape fire by talking to an animal.

_The fire._ Asha was so taken by this panther in front of her that she had forgotten about the flames so quickly, flames that she had been terrified of only moments prior. She looked around wildly, realizing that the smoke was no longer affecting her. She could breathe easy again, it felt like nothing different than standing in a field of flowers. And almost as beautiful, she thought to herself as she watched the flames rage around her for a second, relieved now that she knew it couldn’t hurt her. She knelt down and bowed her head, understanding who was causing this, who was in front of her.

"Open your eyes, Asha."

Asha lifted her head at the sound of a voice to find a woman where the panther once stood. Asha looked around and found untouched, seemingly perfect grass, replacing the burning field that was there before. She also realized that her hand was no longer red and pulsing with pain. All the evidence of the last five minutes seemed to vanish, like it never happened. 

"Y-You are Bast?" Asha asked, her voice echoed the disbelief in her head. The answer was obvious, other-worldly radiated off the woman before her. She certainly was not human. Her deep chocolate skin glowed like the sun, adored from head to toe in gold robes. Nestled on top of her long, flowing black locs was a simple golden crown with purple jewels settled around it. The rest of the world fell away as Asha stared at her, captivated and sure that she could look at her for the rest of her days and it would never be enough.

"You called for me, did you not?"

Asha blinked a few times, her desperate calls for Bast almost forgotten. It felt like ages ago now despite only being minutes. But she hadn't actually expected the goddess to show up; after all she called on Bast for decades and she never came to her aid those times. "Y-yes, yes I did. Thank you f-for saving me. I suppose I didn't think you would show up," Asha admitted with an apologetic tone. There was an awkward pause as Bast simply stared at her across the field, clearly waiting for Asha to speak. "I am in the Ancestral Plane, yes? I died after my crash?" Her tone was surprisingly calm and casual, as if she was confirming the weather and not her livelihood. 

She laughed lightly, "Yes and no, you are in the Ancestral plane but no, you are not dead. You came close, that is certain. That flight was a dangerous venture even for experienced flyers. But worry not, you are very much still among the living." 

"Oh." Asha stopped her silent walking just behind Bast, causing the Goddess to instinctively stop as well and turn to her. Asha looked to her left and saw yet another set of panthers leering at her from a tree beside her, each woman standing on either side of its trunk, staring at the other. Asha's eyes flinted from Bast to one panther in particular. Most stared at her with interest for a moment before going back to sleep or turning their attention elsewhere. But not this one, its deep brown eyes bored into Asha's soul so intensely that even when she turned away, it felt like a laser on her profile. 

"You almost sound disappointed by that fact." Bast responded, interrupting her staring match with the panther. Asha turned her attention back to Bast, an amused look on her face. 

"Oh no, I mean I am happy to be alive. I guess I am just confused. Why am I here then?" 

"Well, I wanted to speak with you. I have been watching you... waiting for the opportunity to approach you. The moment finally presented itself. You have visited us before."

"Yes, in my dreams. I did not know what it was though, but I thought it was just some place I made up. And I never make it past the flames. Wait - what do you mean you have been watching me?"

"I have been watching you as I do with all I have deemed worthy of a gift, waiting for them to reach out to me. I meet with all the gifted at some point in their lives. When they have reached a point in their self discovery, I find that most need to be pushed forward, as you do now. Some reach that point earlier than others though. The waiting can be difficult, as it was with you but you finally got there."

The breeze passed by the two women as Asha stared at her. She opened and closed her mouth, 15 years worth of questions, anger, and frustration rising to the surface but Asha wasn't able to put any of it into words. 

She settled on saying, "'The gifted?' That sounds like the Jabari?" It didn't feel sufficient but she was still gathering her thoughts. 

"Yes, on this Hanuman and I agree. He calls them the Chosen, I call them gifts but they are all the same. All chosen... all gifts to Wakanda, especially now since your brother has reunited all the tribes. It just seems, unfortunately, that my people have yet to catch on as the Jabari did. But I am hoping the Jabari can lead them on that path of understanding. Your father was a particularly tough subject, clearly my plan to humble him with a gifted child did little to help him see the light. I am always right, people believe. But even once a century or two, I get it wrong." 

"Doesn't sound like much of a gift," Asha muttered to herself, upon processing the idea that her life was nothing more than a pawn in Bast's master plan. Asha suddenly felt angry, anger that felt like it appeared out of nowhere all of a sudden. But really, it had been building, boiling below the surface for 15 years.

"What was that child?" The tone of Bast's voice signaled that she was not asking because she had not heard. She just wanted Asha to say it out loud. 

Asha drew herself to full height, standing tall before her goddess, anger still steadily rising. "I said it doesn't sound like much of a gift... to have your existence used as a pawn in someone else's life. I endured years of pain and abuse for what? My father left this world hating mutants just as much as he did before he had me. You are Bast… all mighty and all powerful and you couldn't humble him a different way? Dangling my life in the balance was the only way? Is that what you want me to believe?" 

"I leave my people to make their own choices. I give the signs, I give the lessons, sometimes I give explicit instructions... it is your choice to follow them. Your father chose many times not to follow, did not recognize the signs or actively chose to ignore them. I realized quickly that there was little I could do for a man like that." 

_That isn't good enough,_ Asha thought angrily to herself. But she didn't respond, she just turned her head away from Bast, frustration clear and evident. She turned to find that damned panther still staring at her, and somehow it made her even more angry so she looked up at the sky, hoping its beauty would calm her. But it didn't. 

"Your life was never in the balance. You grew up strong and powerful, as I intended," Bast added, breaking the silence between them. "I was always here for you but I thought you had forgotten me... you stopped praying."

And with that simple phrase, Asha snapped. She scoffed loudly as her anger boiled over, "'I stopped praying??' I prayed to you every day for years. I begged and begged, pleaded and cried for you to take this gift back. I begged to be normal. Were those prayers not loud enough? Were the sobs and agony of one of your gifts not loud enough to earn an audience?" 

"And you weren't there! I stopped praying because you weren't answering, or giving any indication that you heard me at all! Is this what you intended? I mean, look at me! Look at my life!" Asha yelled exasperated as she paced by the tree, ranting angrily. "My mother hates me, my father went to his grave hating me, the only real family I have are T'Challa and Shuri, I am not connected to my home or country in any real way, and I have spent my whole life lying and hiding."

Asha roughly wiped the tears before adding, "A-and to top it off, I have a man back there who I am madly in love with that I don't deserve," a small sob escaped her lips. "That I can't be with because of things I didn't ask for. Because of you! Because of this life you forced upon me… This life that you call a gift but has been nothing but a curse for the last 15 years. A-a-and you call me here and what? Expect me to thank you for it? You call me here after 15 years of misery, 15 years of watching my life fall apart and you say it is what you intended?? This is NOT a gift!" She shouted, her voice startling a few panthers in the trees. 

Asha's chest heaved slightly as she tried to calm herself after unloading years of pent-up anger onto Bast. She couldn't help but blame Bast for every bad thing in her life right now, after all she just told her that she orchestrated it all. All that pain, all that tragedy she flew away from, she laid it at Bast's feet. She didn't know why or what she expected in return. 

"I do not expect you to not be angry with me, child. Your anger is fair. But where you see a life of darkness, I see one overflowing with potential.” Bast’s eyes were filled with understanding, despite just being yelled at. “But you are tired. And I understand that too." 

Asha nodded, she was tired. That was how she felt, simply exhausted. Life... her life was too much work right now. She looked around, the soft swaying trees, the serene violet sky, the peace. There was such peace here, there were no powers here. Asha craved for it. 

"You could just... you could just stay here," Asha whispered to herself.

"This place is not for you. You have many years ahead," Bast answered, voice matter-of-fact and clear. 

"Why not?" Asha asked, now considering the notion seriously. "Y-You get to choose right?? That's what we are taught, what all the stories say? Well, then choose to let me stay!" 

"No." Bast answered again. "You have a job to do. You cannot do it here." 

"Fine, send me back, but take my powers. I do not want them." Asha began to bargain. In her mind, Bast owed her something, owed her what she asked. If she couldn't stay here, she could bring one aspect of this peace back with her. She could finally get Bast to do the one thing she had begged her to do her whole life. She can set her free. 

"No, you were chosen. Wakanda needs you, as you are today." 

"You have my brother! He is the protector of Wakanda. Whatever job you need to do, he can do it!" 

"Your brother is not enough. For centuries, the Black Panther has been enough. But your father made terrible mistakes, mistakes that have altered the future of Wakanda. And your brother, rightfully, has opened Wakanda's borders. With it, new dangers unlike any we have ever seen will come. He needs you. Wakanda needs you." 

"No... no!" Asha cried out in frustration, falling to her knees before her goddess. She hunched forward as her hands grasped the ground in front of her, her nails digging into the soil. She wondered if Bast thought this was amusing, how quickly her anger turned to desperation. "I cannot do this. I asked you for years and you ignored me. Listen to me now, please. I am begging you. I d-don't want this anymore. P-please." Asha's voice broke as she sobbed on the ground before Bast. She imagined she looked as pitiful as she sounded. 

"Stand up, Asha Udaka," Bast commanded from above her. "You are a gift. You were made from me, my children do not kneel or grovel at my feet." 

Asha steadied her breathing, stopped her silent sobbing as best she could, before standing before Bast once more. "Do you know why you have never made it past the flames before? Because you are so terrified of who you are. Instead of accepting them, accepting the fire and all that comes with it as part of you, you shun it, you run from it, you hide from it. And you are right, with a life like that, you will never be happy. You will always be afraid, you will always be running, you will always be living with the constant fear of being burned. You will always be tired."

Bast took a step toward her before continuing, "Or... you could make the choice to do something different. The life your father promised you is not the life you must have. Perhaps the role you believed you were going to have in Wakanda is not the role you are destined for. It will be hard, I will not tell you otherwise. Going back is hard. There are very few on Earth whose lives aren't exhausting, that is the burden... the sacrifice paid for breath pumping through your veins. But it will be worth it, it is always worth it." 

Asha looked around, everywhere but at the woman in front of her, unsure of what to say. Was it that easy? Trusting her, having faith in her after feeling forsaken and forgotten for so long? 

Bast's hand cupped Asha's cheek gently, wiping away the tears that still streamed silently down her face. "You could stay here. Truthfully, it is not my choice, it is yours. I will not stop you... Your brother had to make the same difficult choice not too long ago. He is destined to be the best of them, the man to lead my people to new heights. He returned home because there was work to be done. I believe he is better for it. I believe you will be better for it as well."

"How? What can I offer Wakanda? Or anyone like this?” she gestured to herself, imaging what her emotionally-broken form looked like to Bast. “Half of the country hates me, half of my family hates me. My brother had a role - King. I have nothing but powers that most of the country would rather me not use."

"That is far from true, my child. You have everything, everything you need already. You are rare... destined to be the best of them, I know this. And the path to that power hasn't been easy. You can hate me for it but this was the path you needed, this is what Wakanda needs. You have the power no other gift has had, power to do things the normal hand would not dare dream of - the power to undo atrocities and build lasting bridges all across Wakanda. You are rare... destined to be the best of them. I know this because I willed it. You just have to learn to love it, for all its beauty and terror. And then use it to save my people, save Wakanda's future. And then, you may find that giving and receiving love from others, and knowing you deserve it, is far simpler than before." 

Bast squeezed her hands tightly. Asha didn't know what future she could save, what she could do for Wakanda. But as she stared around at the panthers and the Ancestral Plane, she knew one thing for certain - she couldn't stay here.

A small whimper next to her caught her attention. The black panther in the tree next to them was no longer just staring at Asha, it was sitting up as if it sensed her soul was about to leave. It almost looked like the idea pained it. As Asha stared at it, she realized that something about it seemed oddly familiar. She knew this didn't make sense, she had never seen a real panther in her life to remember one. But she could not help but think this one seemed to know her. She suddenly remembered what her brother told her after his visit here. He was there. 

_I wonder..._ she started to think, taking a step toward the tree, when Bast squeezed her hand again, stopping her movements. "It is time to go now, Asha. I fear we are sending you home with more questions than answers. But you will see me again when you have done what you are destined to do. Then you will get those new answers you seek, understand?" 

Asha gave the panther one last look of longing, knowing whose soul inhabited it, wanting nothing more than the same opportunity to talk to him as she just had with Bast. But she knew this was all in Bast's plan so she answered, "Yes," before turning away from the panther for the last time. 

Bast opened her arms wide and Asha tentatively walked into them, immediately leaning into the hug as she felt warmth and safety she hadn't felt in ages rushing through her. Bast smiled and whispered, "You know... I must hand it to myself. The Golden Trio... you all are the rarest flowers in my garden. Brilliant, capable and meant to help us in such different ways. You are the three pillars on which the progress of Wakanda will stand upon. In the absence of one, she would fall. It is a heavy burden I ask of you and cruel that I should ask it without offering any guidance. But like all my gifts, you must walk it alone. Right the wrongs, protect our future. And then we will speak again. Goodbye until then Princess Asha."

*****

Asha's eyes fluttered open, blinking profusely to adjust to the dim light surrounding her. Her head fell to the side as she laid there, recognizing the space as her bedroom in the palace. . She shifted beneath her deep red duvet cover, an audible groan escaping from the pain radiating through her body. Asha couldn't think of a time her body felt such extreme pain like this, feeling like she was just flung and subsequently trampled by a border tribe rhino. But she knew she had little space to complain. The fact that she was alive was a gift from Bast, that fall should have ended her life. 

_Bast..._ her meeting with the Panther Goddess was fresh in her mind. It felt more like a dream, except she remembered it so clearly, so vividly. Usually dreams disappeared from her memory within seconds of waking up. But this seemed to be burned into her brain, like Bast wouldn't let her forget a second of it.

She started to sit up, deciding to find her family and apologize for her impromptu escape when a soft but firm hand stopped her movements. "Lay back down, Asha. You need to rest." 

Her heart leaped into her throat as she heard his voice. She looked up and saw him sitting on the edge of her bed. She didn't understand how she missed him, he seemed too big for her space. But she supposed she was too preoccupied with her own thoughts. "M'Baku?" 

A small but distinct smile fell on his face as he heard the relief in her voice, there was no hiding it. He squeezed her hand, the pair simply staring at each other as he helped her ease back onto the pillows beneath her back. She stared at him, happy but extremely confused. 

"W-what are you doing here?" 

His hands left her shoulders, rubbing up and down her arms in a comforting fashion. She appreciated the warmth of his hands, helping her realize how cold she was. She felt like her body would never be warm again. 

"I was worried about you. I wanted to make sure you were alright. Um... Let me get you some water yes? Stay here." Asha took in his nervousness, the anxiety in his voice. He was clearly trying to find busy work, something to do that was not simply staring at her or having the difficult conversation looming over him like a dark cloud. She watched him grab the water pitcher in the sitting area of her quarters. She stared around her, the profound desire to get up coursing through her. She just wanted to sit on the couch and talk to him, not lay in her bed like a patient. She swung her legs out of bed, ignoring the exhaustion and pain it caused to do such a little task. However, she would soon learn to regret that decision as she pushed off the bed to stand. The moment her legs took on her full weight, they turned to jelly. She crumbled back to the ground, with a soft thud. 

"Asha!" He ran back over to her, forgetting her water. "What do you need?" 

Asha tried to stabilize her breathing to talk, but nothing would come out. She had been so preoccupied, so trapped in her own thoughts that this was the first moment she actually registered how exhausted she felt. As if she could visualize it in her mind, she could see her internal tank empty, something that had never happened in her life. Panic settled as her eyes moved wildly around her room, trying to understand what she needed in this unforeseeable scenario. Her eyes fell on the raging fire in her sitting area. Was it that easy? she asked herself as she stared at the flames dancing in the fireplace. Her intense staring and look of longing did not go unnoticed by her companion. He picked her up bridal style, the young princess too tired to even be excited by being in his arms, and sat her as close as humanly possible to the fire without sticking her body in it. She hesitated for a moment, knowing it was crazy. But the flames seemed to call out for her, beg for her, growing taller and wilder as she watched them. She reached her hand out into the fire, the warmth immediately washing over her like someone basking in sunlight. She held her hand there, eyes closed, as her body soaked up all the fire in the hearth. Warmth spread through her arm and into every area of her body until she could feel it in every finger and toe, finally feeling full again. The price of her resurgence was the loss of fire in her room but she didn't feel as though she needed it now. She was not at 100%... she knew it would take some time to get back where she was. But this felt good.

"Better?" M'Baku asked softly from behind her, a comforting hand still on her back. He figured it worked, instead of deathly cold, he could feel the warmth circulating beneath her skin now. It wasn't as powerful as once before but it was there. 

"Much. Not 100% but close. T-thank you." 

He picked her back up and carried her back to bed. Once she was settled, he sat down on the side of the bed next to her. 

"You gave us quite a scare. Flying away like that. On your third try? You could have died."

"Flying is the only way to escape a brother with super speed. Before I knew it, I was in the middle of nowhere and couldn't hold myself up any longer. I didn't mean to scare anyone.” 

“You could have died, Asha,” he lectured. His words fell on her ears like a parent scolding a child instead of like a… she still didn’t know what they were. 

“No one would have cared,” she mumbled under her breath. She couldn’t even stop herself from letting it slip but as soon as it did, she wished she had. The hurt on his face was clear. 

"The King, Shuri, Nakia and the Dora care about you deeply Asha."

"Are they the only ones?" She asked softly. 

M'Baku bowed his head, avoiding her expectant stare as he thought of a response. He cared about her, deeply so. But was now the time to have this conversation? After she almost died? He supposed it was foolish to back down now. This was what he wanted this whole time, to express his feelings. But now that it was here? He wished he had a few more days to get his thoughts together. 

"No, not just them. There are some that care about you more than you know, more than you will let them show you." 

It was Asha's turn to avoid his stare, his expectant look. She was in love with him, there was no secret about that. But 12 hours ago, there were so many barriers in their way. Now those barriers turned to wreckage and recycled into new barriers. They were different, but how different if she still felt unable to commit to him and this? 

"The woman you want... she is not who I am always M'Baku. If this day hasn't shown you. You watched her attack me a-a-and I just sat there. I surrendered so easily like a c-coward. I- is that the woman you want? Truly?" 

"Asha, stop. You are that woman, I see her every time I look at you. What other woman could have survived what you survived tonight? You are strong, you are deserving. You just have to believe it."

She nodded softly, looking out the window of her bedroom, confused and struggling. Her mind like she was standing in the Great Mound, watching hundreds of trains whiz by her and she could not grab hold of any of them. So many thoughts, so many tracks moving in different directions. Here she was again, standing at the crossroads of what she wanted to have, what reality dictated she must have, and what the world deemed her worthy of having. There was not a fiber of her being that didn't want M'Baku, but did she truly feel she deserved him? Bast told her she did… everyone told her she did… but did any other opinions matter if she still felt unworthy?

And this being the first moment, she really considered the possibility of being with him and its implications, would the Jabari even accept her? Many of them did not want to rejoin Wakanda in the first place? How would they feel if their chief married a lowlander? How would the Wakandans feel if their princess married a Jabari? That was a bridge the two tribes hadn’t been crossed once in history. 

Beyond that, it was difficult to focus on sorting out her feelings for M'Baku when she knew her tribe was at risk, all because of her. She was surrounded by the very real reality that Elder Shani was trying to tear their house down. Her engagement was off, of that she was sure. Why would she uphold the end of the bargain when Shani figuratively set their deal on fire? But did that mean she was relieved of her obligation? Does that mean after giving her the ammunition to tear their world apart, Asha could just escape to Jabariland and live a different life? She was still the princess, after all. Her obligations to marry were gone but her obligations to her family, to the throne, to her people were very much present. 

And then there was Bast. Apparently, there was work to be done. Could that work be done from Jabariland? Or did she have to stay here? What future did she have to protect? How does one even begin to learn to love themselves or powers they have been conditioned to hate? She wished she had more time to ask Bast questions as a million tumbled through her mind right now. Now, she just felt like she wasted the short audience Bast gave her ranting like a child. The goddess wasn't wrong - it was cruel to ask her to do whatever job she needed doing with no guidance, no direction. She wasn't equipped for this... any of it. 

"Asha." M'Baku saw it clearly in her face, she was drowning, unsure of what to do, her confusion and concern etched into her face. She looked older, more tired and weary than he had ever seen her. Like in one day, she lived a thousand lives. He knew that look, saw it on his own face a million times as chief. He knew what it looked like to carry the weight of the world and he also knew how grateful he was to the people in his life who forced him to lay that weight down, who gave him a break for a moment. He just wanted to help her do the same. "How about we do this? We deal with the big questions tomorrow. And tonight, we just be. No big questions, no overthinking,” he gently tapped her head, causing her face to scrunch up and the first genuine smile he had seen all night grace her face. “No decisions, no complications. We just rest." 

Asha's heart immediately felt lighter with his permission not to think for a moment, his permission to lay her baggage down and rest her arms for a while. It would do her a world of good, she knew that. She nodded, smiling at him. "Let's just be. Sounds like a plan to me." 

M'Baku leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead, Asha's body heating up at his touch. He looked at her for a moment before getting up from the bed, "I will take the couc-"

A small hand grabbed his, tugging him back. Her dark brown eyes looked up with him, unspoken pleads clear and on the tip of her tongue. "Stay. I want you to stay." 

Her meaning was clear, but M'Baku searched her face for confirmation. There were no reservations, no doubts. He rounded to the other side of the bed and slid in. She immediately nestled into his side, attracted to him like a magnet. 

"I would care," he whispered as she laid on his bare chest, her small frame dwarfed by his. He didn't hear a response but soon, he felt the unmistakable wetness of tears and knew she heard him. 

"T-thank you," she whispered back, throat tight as she tried to keep her emotions in. He kissed the top of her head before closing his eyes, another eventful day behind them and the start of something beautiful ahead.


	6. Chapter 6

Asha gingerly opened her eyes to the darkness of her bedroom, her deep red curtains blocking the sunlight she knew tried to shine through her window. She stretched her arms and legs slightly, grimacing at the soreness that still coursed through her bones. She closed her eyes again, focusing internally to feel her powers once again at full force. The panther inside was rested and rejuvenated... ready for a new day. After years of begging to be rid of them, it was unnerving and terrifying to have exhausted them the way she did last night. She was slowly coming to realize that even in her lifelong hate of her powers, she still relied on them to catch her if she ever fell. Last night was an example of what would happen when the safety net was not beneath her. That was enough to force the young princess on her journey to accepting her powers, even without her conversation with Bast.

She thought back to her conversation with Bast briefly but refused to let her mind spiral too far down that black hole.

_It is too early to dissect that_ , she determined silently. She would need a cup of strong coffee… maybe Jabari rum, to process that. 

She lazily rolled over to her side, eyes still heavy and tired, deciding to fall back into the unconscious world for a bit. Quiet moments passed before she opened her eyes again, coming face to face with the slumbering giant in her bed. Her eyes widened with shock as she took in M'Baku's resting form and deep, gentle snores.

_I must have been more tired than I thought last night_ , she thought to herself, knowing that if she had all her wits about her... she certainly would not have forgotten falling asleep with the man of her dreams under her covers.

The desire for more sleep vanished like a flash of lightning. Small flashes of the night before appeared in her mind like a movie. Him carrying her to the fire, her asking him to stay in her bed, his heavy arm pulling her close to him, the warmth of his chest, him saying he would care if she died.

_I would care._

How could three simple words carry so much weight? Perhaps because aside from her siblings, no one had ever said it about her before. She loved him... She was in love with him. And she never felt it more strongly or deeply than last night when he held her in his arms. They hadn't done anything... hadn't even shared a kiss but that was intimacy unlike anything Asha had ever experienced. Staying like this with him was far more appealing than the drama she knew waited for her outside her bedroom's vibranium-enforced walls. 

She could see it now: waking up to his soft snores in the mornings, the thumps of his strong heartbeat against her ear as she laid on his chest, his strong arms wrapped around her to keep her close and safe, his natural body heat keeping her warm. She wanted it... craved it. And she thought nothing could top waking up in his bed that morning in Jabariland? This beat that by miles.

Her fingers ran up and down his bicep, feeling the strong muscle beneath the surface that gave him his sculptured figure. His eyes opened slowly at her light touch, the warrior inside crushing the heavy sleeper he once was as a child. A smile crept across his face as he took her in for the first time that day, a sight he certainly could get used to. He decided that there would be no better way than to start his days than with this woman by his side.

"Good morning," he said, his deep voice raspy and somehow more sexier than normal to Asha. 

"Good morning," she answered back, a sly smile on her face. A silence fell over the two for a few moments as they just laid and stared at each other. Asha looked away, the intensity in his eyes too much for her. The joy of waking up with him was slowly morphing into dread. It was unfortunate that she could so clearly articulate the feelings she had for him to herself but the moment she had the opportunity to say them to him? She clammed up and shut down. The sun was up and a new day meant they would have to talk... about their complicated feelings, what they could be to each other, what it would mean for their families, their tribes. Asha didn't even know if she was still engaged... though she figured it was a safe guess to assume that arrangement had ended. 

She knew she wanted to choose M'Baku and figured he felt the same. After all, why would he still be here if he didn’t? But still, she dreaded asking... dreaded revealing her true feelings only to be disappointed. Asha's life was a series of moments where she thought things were going well and life veered down a hill of ragged rocks. Hasani was a great example... something she thought could work out only to be sadly mistaken. She was tired of expecting smooth sailing only to be met with rough seas and disappointment. She wanted desperately to believe this would be different, but her fear was real. She didn't know which conversation she was dreading more: the one with her brother and sister or the one in front of her right now. 

"W-we should probably get up, yes? I need to talk to my brother and sister. I-I should have called them last night," Asha said quickly, stumbling over her words a bit. Ultimately, she chose her siblings, that crisis seemed less daunting than whatever was going on between them. Besides, it seemed selfish to focus on building a new life with someone after lighting her old one on fire. It was her duty to help put it out first. 

She watched a look of surprise and disappointment flash across his face as she sat up to get out of bed. But to his credit, he did not voice it. He didn't want to get around her family and lose the opportunity to finally talk about them. He knew what last night meant for her family and he felt for them. But he also knew that last night meant the end of her engagement. M'Baku was not as selfless as he hoped to be so he couldn't help but see all of this as another barrier between them falling, granting them a clearer path ahead. But as T'Challa rightfully reminded him, selfishness was not Asha's way. They would need to deal with the consequences of last night before she would ever consider their future.

"Yes. Your sister left these for you, since yours were destroyed." 

He handed her a delicate set of new beads, which she quickly slid onto her wrist as she muttered a soft thank you. They blinked purple for a few moments when they touched her wrist, resyncing themselves with her information. 

M'Baku quickly excused himself to go back to his own guest room and change his clothes, allowing Asha to do the same. 

Asha used the new set of beads Shuri left with M'Baku to send messages to her siblings, mother, and Nakia, asking the group to meet her in T'Challa's office in 15 minutes. She was desperate to see them, to talk to them. Guilt rose like bile in her throat as she contemplated what to say, the appropriate apologies and explanations she needed to give for her reckless actions. Her father always said she would be the downfall of their tribe and she always vowed to prove him wrong. She had quite spectacularly failed at that. She knew they would ask about her flying adventure and she was not quite sure on what to tell them. Would she tell them of her near brush with death, her visit to the Planes, her conversation with Bast... her desperate attempts to stay there?

_No_... she quickly decided. 

The rest? Maybe, Bast seemed to believe there was some quest she had to fulfill and she had no earthly idea what it could be. Perhaps the other two-thirds of the Golden Trio could help her decipher Bast's riddles. But she knew she could never tell them that she tried to choose death, that would be hard to admit and even harder for them to hear. 

Once dressed, she walked outside her room to find Alexis waiting. Her guard did not even attempt to hide her jubilation at seeing the Princess alive, well and whole as she quickly swept the girl into a tight hug. Despite her surprise, Asha returned it with equal vigor, tightly wrapping her guard and confidant in her embrace. 

"Don't ever scare us like that again," Alexis stated sternly in her ear, though there was a plea buried under Alexis' usual abrasive tone.

"Never... I promise," Asha said back. It seemed Alexis decided that her stern warning would do and let the young girl go. Asha smiled at her before the two started toward M'Baku's guest quarters. 

M'Baku emerged from his door as soon as his guard knocked to alert him of Asha's arrival, having been ready moments before. The two shared a smile but no words, having just seen each other, and continued on the journey to T'Challa's office. 

Asha tried her best to ignore the stares and hushed whispers of the palace staff they passed. She knew what it meant. Her powers were no longer a palace secret... the thing many knew of or suspected but dared not talk about. Now, she imagined the secret was free and circulating through the palace and country like air, being soaked up by person after person after person. She felt exposed, naked… particularly without her rings she completely destroyed. 

However, she was determined not to let them get to her. Where yesterday's Asha would have shrunk into the shadows and hid in her room, today's Asha forced herself to hold her head high. It was difficult, she found herself desperate to hide at moments. But every time she did, a voice whispered to her and reminded her that she was a child of Bast. If Bast would not tolerate her kneeling before her, she certainly would not accept her cowering before anyone else. 

Asha knew the true transformation into the person Bast wanted her to be... the person she was apparently meant to be would take time. One meeting with Bast, one night would not change how she felt about herself, or stop her desire to run away from who she was. She knew she was still miles away from where Bast wanted her to be and where Wakanda apparently needed her to be, but she would celebrate any small step in the right direction. 

They rounded a corner and found themselves face to face with T'Challa's unmanned office door. She didn't announce her presence, simply opening the door to find her favorite people in this world huddled around T'Challa's desk. She didn't get a word out or even cross the threshold of the office before a speeding ball crashed into her and almost knocked her off her feet. There was no need to look down and figure out who it was, only one person in her world hugged like a mini cannonball.

She wrapped her arms tightly around her sister before pulling back to hold her face in her hands. Shuri looked as though she aged years in that one night. She looked up and found similar looks of worry and exhaustion on everyone else's face, bags and worry lines that could not be hidden by their wide smiles at seeing her.

Shuri seemed reluctant to let her go but finally did, giving her brother the chance to wrap her in a bone-crushingly tight hug.

"We are glad you are ok," he said.

Just hearing his voice, the voice of her first and fiercest protector caused tears to spring up to her eyes. She hid them as best she could but she knew the dam wouldn't hold for much longer. The round-robin of hugs continued with Nakia and Okoye before Asha turned back to face her brother again.

Her right hand fidgeted with the long sleeve on her cardigan, her apprehension and nerves clearly on display. They calmed slightly at the soothing circles M'Baku rubbed into her back and his presence so close to her as she tried to overcome the tightness in her vocal chords. When she finally looked up at T'Challa again, he was shocked to see tears streaming down her face. 

"I-I am so sorry T'Challa," she whispered. "Running away like that... scaring you all like that. I-it was selfish and i-it was wrong. A-a-and I never should have provoked Elder Shani in the first place. This is all my fault, I feel horrible. I am just... please forgive me." 

"Why in Bast's name are you talking about? You can't think any of us blame you for this?" Shuri asked, her confusion painted clearly on her face.

"How could you not? After what I said to her... and fleeing like that? I mean I broke a window for Bast’s sake." Asha's eyes bounced between the two, searching for a hint of anger or disappointment, searching for the reactions she had built up in her mind. But she couldn't find any of it.

T'Challa chuckled, "You mistake us for Baba, Asha. We are not him... unreasonable and apathetic. Nothing you said to Elder Shani was untrue or wrong. It was your right to speak up as my advisor. Elder Shani made a choice and those choices are not your fault, nor are they a reflection of you. We were worried about you, of course. But we certainly do not blame you. We will have to speak about the window though," he added with a smile, winking at her. 

"Quite frankly, you did us all a favor," Shuri added, waving off Asha's concerns with her hand as she hoisted herself up slightly to sit on T’Challa’s desk. "Keeping that secret was killing you, hurting the tribe's reputation with all those lies. Now, we don't have to worry about that anymore. The laws are gone. You can set things on fire to your heart's content and no one can hold it over our heads again." 

Asha nodded slowly, "I know not everyone feels that way... where is mama?" she asked, acknowledging the absence of a key member of the Panther Tribe.

Asha tried not to feel affronted by the fact that she almost died and her own mother had not come to see about her. She knew it was long past time to accept her mother's lukewarm reception of her. She always thought of her as an ally but as she grew and analyzed her childhood, she recognized that Ramonda was merely an extension of her husband. She would never fully love Asha as a mother should. But for reasons unknown, or rather that she did not yet want to admit, she still held hope that her mother would be more to her. And she was always disappointed. 

T'Challa and Shuri could not control their immediate reaction to share a dark glare with each other. Asha appreciated their attempts to hide it and put on for her benefit. But she knew it was just that... an act.

"Mama said she would see you later. Don't worry about her. She is glad you are alright," T'Challa managed to say, though lying was never his strong suit, with a failed attempt at a reassuring smile on his face. 

"It is high time you two stop lying about things for my benefit. I know, just as well as you do, that, at best, she is begrudgingly happy about my survival," Asha snorted, eyes rolling as she settled down on the couch across from T'Challa's desk. 

"But we are not here to discuss mama... we are here to discuss the other woman who hates me. How bad is it?" Asha asked, moving on to more important matters than her mother's indifference toward her. Jitters coursed through her body as she waited to hear of the damage her stunt brought upon them. She felt M'Baku's weight settle on the couch next to her, his presence forcing some of those jitters to melt away.

M'Baku stayed silent throughout their meeting, feeling like an outsider in a family reunion. He felt assured in his presence knowing Asha indeed wanted him there. Her body gravitated toward his, leaning into his side the moment he sat down on the couch. His hand instantly found its home on her knee, her fingertips grazed his arm gently. It was so natural, he almost didn't realize it and wondered if she even noticed it herself. The intimacy of their soft, effortless touches were not lost on him or the other occupants of this office. He imagined it looked as if they had been in love for years, that was surely how it felt to him. Except, he didn't know what they were... in love, yes. In sync? Not so much.

T'Challa leaned against his wooden desk, suddenly looking older, the burdens of a king etched on his face. He rubbed his eyes like an exhausted child and folded his arms across his chest before answering, "It is, unfortunately, as we feared. Elder Shani has launched a campaign against the Panther Tribe. She has already gathered a group of vocal anti-mutants to support her and told anyone who will listen the truth of your status and the web of lies built to hide it. If it is any consolation, it seems to us that most of the country is enraged by the lies and secrets, not your actual status."

"The River Tribe and the Jabari are firmly behind us. The Mining and Border Tribes are still on the fence, refusing to signal support either way. We believe she will use the King's Exhibition tomorrow as her moment to publicly demand another challenge," Shuri added. 

"Can she do that?" M'Baku asked. 

"Technically, yes. It hasn't been done in a century and has always failed. But the majority of the Council can demand another challenge for the throne if they have sufficient evidence against the King. If she convinces the mining and border tribes to join her, she will have her majority." 

"Our best bet is to remind the Mining and Border Tribes of the long-term implications of another challenge. If we strip T'Challa of his powers to challenge for the throne, it will be the end of the Black Panther. The last of the herbs runs through his veins," Nakia offered from her spot by the window. 

Asha's head lulled into her hands, her soft moan of exasperation muffled through her fingers. She loathed to think about it, but her father was right. The truth was out and their tribe was beginning to crumble. 

"Your engagement to Hasani has been called off, not officially. But we have no reason to uphold our end of that bargain when she did not uphold hers. It is nothing we cannot handle, Asha."

Asha nodded, slowly standing and pacing by the couch. Her fingers twisted among themselves as she walked, thinking. "Ok. So how do we stop her? What do we need to -" 

"No, there is nothing _we_ need to do. Shuri and I had a long conversation last night and we decided that whatever comes of this, wherever this takes us... it is no longer your concern." 

Her pacing ceased, her hands fell to her sides as his words hit her. There was no malice, no intention of harm in his words... not even a hint of harshness. And yet, the words felt like a slap to the face, a slight. "T'Challa... what? What is that supposed to mean?"

He walked up to her, taking her hands in his firmly, ignoring her immediate instinct to rip them away. He saw the flickers of hurt in her eyes and needed to explain. He felt responsible for all this carnage that surrounded them. M'Baku was right. T'Challa always did the easiest thing when it came to his sister, never taking the leap that would actually free her. It was his determination as her big brother to free her, no matter the cost to him or their family. And it was time she stopped lugging around the weight of the consequences alone.

"It means that our parents laid the fate of our family... our legacy at your feet and that was unfair. Forced you to carry a weight alone that is all of ours. Your life has never been your own because of that. We will not do that any longer. As king, the fate of our family and tribe is my cross to bear. The rest of this life is yours... to experience something different, choose something different." His eyes lingered on M'Baku for a moment for he knew, even if his sister didn't yet, that life in Jabariland was that something different she needed to explore.

Asha was rarely at a loss for words but she couldn't think of anything to say. What he offered, she desperately wanted to accept. After all, it is what she always wanted. To be free of this place and all that came with it. But after her conversation with Bast, she now worried that her heart's desire was not her destiny. She was born into this family for a reason. If her destiny was to live happily in Jabariland, Bast could have put her there from the start. But no... she was here and that meant that whatever she was meant to do in this life, she couldn't turn her back on her role for good. After 15 years of believing she had to get rid of her powers to truly be in this family or that she had to leave in order to be free, she now actually saw a path in which she could have both.

She squeezed his hand before replying, "I love you both... more than anyone in this life. And I appreciate this, truly. But we are our family's present and future. So we share the burden of leading this country and its people. I can no more dissolve myself of the responsibilities that come with that than you can. I cannot leave here and pretend I do not care what happens to our family." 

"But you said you couldn't stay here anymore?" Shuri asked. 

"I did say that... before. But I don’t know how true that is now. Before I d-didn’t see a lot of choices. I wanted so desperately to be loved and wanted in this life. I just wanted to be like you two... you both live lives that are vibrant, filled with your passions and joy... filled with hope. It always hurt to watch you both live the lives you so richly deserved while I could not. But when I got back from Jabariland, days spent watching what my life here could have been like, I realized I couldn't ignore that pain anymore. I couldn't be satisfied with a half-life anymore, which is why I took the easy way out and ran. But you two are my family and this is my home. You two are in this world so I do not have a desire to choose a different one.”

T'Challa nodded, understanding, "We just want you to find happiness, Asha. Even if it is not with us... even if it is not here." 

"The only happiness I have ever known has been with the people in this room. I can find some more happiness outside these walls and not turn my back on our family at the same time. I thought I couldn't but Bast showed me that I could, made me remember that you all are worth that. You are the reason I came back."

"'Came back?'" Shuri repeated slowly, confusion evident in her tone and on her face. "What do you mean?" 

Asha bowed her head, internally frustrated at her slip up. She thought about lying but that wasn’t them. She, Shuri and T'Challa were different. She always felt like they would never understand the depths of her sadness and pain. But they proved her wrong time and time again. They might not have understood fully but they never stopped trying, never stopped listening.

"Um... well, when I fell, I went to the Ancestral Plane." 

The air in the room became thick with tension as her words sank down upon them. T'Challa's body went rigid, his shock and anger clear in his facial expression. Tears welled up in Shuri's eyes. M'Baku leaped up from his seat, immediately tugging on her elbow to turn Asha's attention toward him.

Asha's body was tired of crying, exhausted of it, and yet the look of rage and pain in his face made her throat tight and tear ducts active again.

"You died?" he whispered, words barely above a whisper to keep the shakiness out of his voice. 

"How are you here?" Okoye asked as the only person who managed to maintain their composure, though her face did seem harder than usual. "How is this possible? No one but the Black Panther can visit the Planes and return." 

Asha scratched her head, unsure on how to explain something that she didn't fully understand herself. Scientifically, she knew what happened to her should not have been possible but what about any of this was scientific? It was all determined by Bast and she did not adhere to the rules of man. 

"I don't know. Truly. Bast said I wasn't dead but that the fall was an opportunity for her to speak with me. She did say that it was my choice of whether to stay or return here. I chose to return."

"Bast? _The Bast_?" T'Challa whispered. 

"Yes... _The Bast_... Panther Goddess of Wakanda and all that. You talked to her on your trip to the Plane yes?" Asha asked, confused as to why her brother looked more shocked than the rest of them. It was a known fact that the Black Panther visited the Ancestral Plane when they were given their powers. T'Challa visited twice, once more than any Black Panther before him. It was always Asha's assumption that the protector of Wakanda met with the Goddess that gave them those powers during that crucial visit.

"No. No, I didn't. I spoke to Baba, both times. And only Baba. I have never heard of a panther speaking directly to Bast, aside from the first Black Panther of course."

_What is so special about me?_ Asha wondered silently to herself. 

If she was being honest, meeting Bast had not seemed like much of an honor initially to her. But Asha's anger at her was unparalleled, her frustrations having built up for years with no release. It was hard to find joy in a meeting sullied by such pain and anger. 

"So what happened??" Shuri demanded, loudly, tapping Asha on the arm to pull her out of her own head. 

"When I woke up, I thought it was just a dream. I have dreamed about the Planes since I was a child and had not realized it. She showed up. I yelled at her, demanded she let me stay in the Planes," Asha admitted sheepishly, "And then she told me that Wakanda needed me to save its future and the legacy of the Black Panther. That is it. There were a lot of words but she did not offer many tangible actions," Asha added at the end, voicing her frustration at the cryptic messages her goddess gave her. 

"Unless she told you how to make me immortal or gave you new seeds to grow more herbs, I am not sure you or anyone can save the legacy of the Black Panther. The mantle will die when I die." There was a sadness in his eyes that Asha had only seen in her own, an acknowledgement that he would indeed be the last of a centuries-long tradition. "Wakanda's only protector will be gone forever." 

"Perhaps not forever..." M'Baku whispered. Asha could almost see the light bulb in his head going off as he addressed the full group for the first time since they walked in.

Everyone's attention shifted to the Mountain King, eyes wide with skepticism. The same question oscillating in all their minds: What did a Jabari know of the Heart-Shaped Herb? 

"What do you mean?" Asha asked. 

"I have had this reoccurring dream about the heart-shaped herb since I was a child. Except, the herb was on the top of a mountain, covered in ice, in Jabariland. I would try to seize one and panthers would surround them and I would wake up. The same outcome every single time. I believed the dream was my sign to challenge for the throne. But I continued to have the dream after Challenge Day. What if it means something more?"

"I don't see how that can help us, Lord M'Baku," Shuri muttered, rolling her eyes. "Those were just dreams. You all have never found herbs in Jabariland. There are none. We have searched... There are none in the wild in all of Wakanda."

"Yes, we have yet to find herbs in Jabariland, that is true Princess. But we have not searched all of Jabariland. There is a small mountain range on the border of the Land of the Heart-Shaped Herb, land that no Jabari has set foot on in almost a century. Its forest is impenetrable. It is forbidden. Truthfully, I haven't thought about it in years until just now. Last night, King T'Challa said that your priestesses refuse to go to the Hall of Kings because they are attacked by visions and voices, yes? Our scouts used to report the same phenomenon in those mountains. Even the Chosen are not immune."

"You think there are herbs there?" Nakia said? "I don't understand why Bast would put herbs outside of Wakanda?" 

"Technically... she didn't put them outside Wakanda. We did. Old maps of Wakanda show that the land that is now the Land of the Heart-Shaped Herb stretched into the mountains. The Taifa Ngao simply thought the mountain and river's natural fortification made the easiest barriers between the territories, an easy break between the two that would not confuse anyone. But in doing so, part of the forest of herb ended up in Jabari territory. Bast said that she and Hanuman were aligned on many things... maybe it is protecting the last of the Heart-Shaped Herb?"

"This is all speculation. What proof is there to any of this? And how can we find them when the forest drives you to insanity?" 

"You cannot believe these are coincidences? These dreams are real. Think about everything that has happened... Killmonger, reuniting Jabari with Wakanda, Asha meeting with Bast? All of it had to be for a reason. This is the reason. There are herbs in Jabariland and Asha is meant to lead us to them. She is not a Jabari, she is not a Chosen... she is... something else. She may be the only person who can do this." 

Heads turned to Asha as she contemplated everything M'Baku said. She could not deny that the pieces fit together as he described them. If there were herbs left in this world, M'Baku may have just drawn them the road map directly to that garden. They owed it to Wakanda to find out the truth. And he was right… she was something else. She was A Gift. 

"Then we go. We search for it. Today," Asha declared, determination set on her face. 

"Today??" Shuri called out incredulously, laughing lightly at the absurdity of this plan. "You can't be serious? You literally died last night and now you want to go hiking? Are you on drugs??"

"Yes, I must agree with Shuri. Not because I don't believe you may be right. B-but you cannot run off into the forest off M'Baku's word and a hunch, Asha. it is not safe." 

Asha shook her head. "It is not just M'Baku's word... it is Bast's too. She said I was to build last bridges across Wakanda, T'Challa. This is it. This is what she wants me to do. The herb and the Black Panther are what stopped Wakanda from tearing itself apart centuries ago. It is the thread that has held us together for centuries. Without it, we will just tear each other apart again. Bast doesn’t want the Black Panther to die, it would be the end of her people. If the Jabari lead us to the last of the wild herbs and give us the opportunity to cultivate them once more... no Wakandan could ever deny their place in this country again. If a mutant helps us preserve the legacy of the Black Panther, no one would ever question their existence again. They would have to recognize them as Bast intended, as gifts to her people. Brother... you have done what was once thought as unimaginable: bringing mutants back into the light, bringing the Jabari back into Wakanda. The Warrior Shaman went into the wilderness to save Wakanda then. This is how we save Wakanda now." 

T'Challa stared at her intently, processing her words. He knew she was right, knew the puzzle pieces did in fact create this clear picture and path forward. However, he wished she was not the one that had to do it. 

"We need the herb before the King's Challenge tomorrow evening. This is how we will convince the Mining and Border Tribes to maintain their allegiance to the throne. Are you sure you can do this, Asha? It won’t be an easy journey alone." 

"Yes," she answered without hesitation. "And I won't be alone." 

***

The ramp of the Royal Talon thudded softly into the soft ground of a clearing in Jabariland, allowing Asha and M'Baku to descend into the frigid air. They looked like an odd pair, he in traditional Jabari hiking clothes. Asha, who had never done true hiking in her life, was in a borrowed pair of boots, leggings and a light jacket. A freezing Jabari day felt like a nice cool day to her. Both had backpacks filled with supplies and blankets, courtesy of Shuri who had also never hiked but seemed to think it was a week-long affair. 

"Are you sure you want to do this?" She asked M'Baku as they stepped into the soft and undisrupted snow on the ground. The Talon dropped them off at a spot already halfway up the mountain, giving them a head start. Unfortunately, the thick trees would not let them get any higher. 

"Do you want to do this?" he countered, already knowing the answer. "No one wants to walk into a forest filled with magic. But this is my duty. I will nott turn back on it." 

“How do we know that you are immune? From the creepy voices and dreams?” Asha asked, concerned for his mental health. 

“We don’t. I guess we will have to wait and find out.” 

Asha gave him a side glance. The man didn't look scared but there was such silence in him since they got on the plane and certain tension radiated off him that she was not used to. She wondered if this was how he wore fear.. This was certainly a new side of him she was experiencing.

"You said your dreams put the herb at the top of the mountain yes?" 

"Yes, we should get started. It will take us a great deal of time." 

The further they walked, the more Asha understood why people did not come here. Even without the voices and visions, which she was sure would be terrifying to the average Jabari, the trees were so thick and hunched over that they blocked out almost all of the natural sunlight along their path. It seemed as though night had fallen the moment they stepped foot out of the clearing. But so far, M'Baku's theory seemed to hold true. Asha heard nothing except the chitter chatter of forest animals, the swaying of trees, and a mixture of her and M'Baku's breathing. 

Silence followed them easily as they walked for the first stretch, neither needing to stop or fill the space with unnecessary conversation. They just walked upward, toward the garden they knew was waiting for them. Occasionally, Asha threw a glance toward M'Baku, wondering what he was thinking of, wondering if they should use this free time to finally talk. 

"It seems you were chosen in a different way, Lord M'Baku," she mused aloud as he used his knobkerrie to knock low-hanging branches from their path. 

He looked back at her, eyebrows raised in speculation. 

"How do you figure that?" 

She laughed lightly, her childlike laughter filling the quiet forest as they went. "Well, you said this journey drives everyone else insane. Yet here you are... mind clear enough to continue the journey. Why do you think that is?" 

Her question was met with silence but she could practically hear the wheels in his head churning, thinking about her words. 

"Here we are... the only two people in all of Wakanda who could make this journey? You are doing something even T'Challa could not. You are saving the legacy of Wakanda." 

"I don't serve your God though. Bast would not use me as a pawn in her plans." 

She had fallen behind him slightly, his long legs allowing him to take greater strides than her. She sped up and he slowed down slightly so they could walk side by side and better engage in conversation. 

"Bast and Hanuman are not mutually exclusive. They exist together. They are aligned in many ways. She told me so. Who says Hanuman doesn't want to protect the legacy of Wakanda too? If he didn't, why would he have urged you to fight for us against Killmonger or rejoin Wakanda? I don't think this is just Bast's plan... I don't know.I think it is their plan? " 

"You seemed to know a lot about Bast for someone who doesn't pray," M'Baku countered, not to be contentious but trying to understand. He still remembered their hike her first morning in Jabariland... she had said she was done with all that. 

Asha sighed, "I was. But I spoke to her, laid my frustrations and grievances at her feet and she listened, without judgement. She pushed me, challenged the things I always believed. I don't know. I stopped praying because I thought she stopped listening. But she never did, she just knew I was asking for the wrong things." 

Silence fell over them for a while before M'Baku responded, "You truly believe I was chosen for this?" 

A small smile settled on Asha's face. His tone, the look in his eyes was of a child wanting to be told he was good enough... worthy enough. Asha wondered if this was the great juxtaposition of their relationship - both grew up wanting what the other had and neither appreciated what they had. Neither thought they were chosen when their worthiness was so clear and evident in the other’s eyes. In reality, it seems they were destined for this task and perhaps destined for each other.

"Yes. I do. I know you have never felt like it but it is clear to me. Your dreams... your leadership in this tribe. Those are no coincidence. Hanuman and Bast could have chosen anyone to have that dream and wander this mountain and find these herbs. But they chose you. That means something." 

The weather was getting colder, the winds stronger, the higher they walked up the mountain. The loud winds forced their conversation to die off as it howled loudly around them. Even Asha was starting to feel the sharp bite of the cold weather. It was not enough for her to regret her choice of light clothing, her internal furnace just had to do a bit of extra work. 

The sun started to set, stealing the minimal light they had on the path. The darker it got, the more ominous the walk got as well. Not long after, snow started to fall on them, growing heavier by the second. 

"How much farther?" Asha asked quietly. 

"A few hours. But soon we won't be able to see anything with the snow. We should find shelter." 

Asha looked around wildly, incredulously. "Shelter? Where? We are on an uninhabited mountain, M'Baku. Where in Bast's name would we find shelter?"

"I d - sh!" M'Baku quickly silenced her and himself as he heard rustling in the trees by Asha. Asha had little time to think before he pushed her behind him and raised his knobkerrie. 

However, Asha was no damsel in distress, she was a fighter. She moved from behind him and summoned flames around her hands, though they struggled to stay alive due to the cold winds, ready to strike whatever came out of the forest at them. 

They both stared into the black abyss between the trees beside them. First there was nothing, the pair starting to let their guard down. But before they allowed themselves to relax too much, Asha let out a soft gasp. Where there was nothing but black, there were now two amber eyes staring back at them. 

M'Baku raised his weapon higher but Asha lowered hers, allowing the flames to cease and held his arm with her normal hand. She couldn't explain it but she knew this wasn't dangerous. Whatever the creature was, it would not hurt them. She took a step forward despite M'Baku's urgent whispers to not get too close. As she moved with bated breath, a paw emerged from the darkness, giving way to a full-grown panther slowly walking toward her. 

M'Baku stood stunned as Asha dropped to her knee before the Panther. This was a message from Bast... they were on the right track. 

The panther stared at her for a moment before turning and heading back through another set of trees. Asha immediately fell into step behind it. She felt her body tugged back by a strong grip and turned to find M'Baku looking more fearful than she had ever seen him. 

"Panthers can't survive up here. It shouldn’t be up here. What are you doing?" 

"I am following it. You have to trust me, M'Baku. You just have to," she begged him, eyes pleading with him to let her follow this animal. All the senses in her body yearned to go after it for she knew it was leading them exactly where they needed to go. 

M'Baku didn't understand why following a wild panther would help them, unless she desired a trip back to the Planes. But he knew his logical brain was simply trying to overpower the feeling in his gut that agreed with her: the panther knew the way. 

He let go of her arm and nodded, both quickly catching up to the panther who was waiting for them a few paces ahead. They followed it, snow heavily falling and winds whipping their faces for 10 minutes. Asha's resolve never wavered, this panther knew where it was going. 

Sure enough, minutes later, just as M'Baku was cementing his idea to demand they return to the path, the panther stopped in front of the mouth of a cave. It flopped down onto its belly, licking the snow melting on its limbs while Asha and M'Baku walked past it. It was dark and damp but it was shelter, a reprieve from the harsh winds and snow outside. 

They huddled inside, shielded from the winter elements outside. 

"This will do for the night. Do you want to make a fire? I can go get wood," M'Baku offered. 

Asha shook her head, sliding her backpack and sleeping bag she didn't think she would actually need off her shoulders. 

"The sleeping bag is insulated. It heats up according to your body temperature. And I can make heat if we need it. Are you cold?" 

M'Baku shook his head but couldn't hide the obvious judgement that clouded his eyes, knowing exactly what made the sleeping bag operate like that. 

"Sorry, I forgot you all distrust vibranium. I shouldn't have men-" 

He shook his head, silencing her. "It is fine, don't apologize. I suppose I must get used to vibranium if we are going to be a part of Wakanda." 

They both unrolled their sleeping bags next to each other before sliding in. Silence fell over them as they stared at the dark gray, damp walls of the cave, listened to nothing but their own breathing and the soft drops of water dripping onto the floor. 

Asha wondered if he felt it too, the urge to finally talk. She wondered if the spirits haunting this mountain were finally attacking her brain, for she had wanted nothing but to avoid this difficult conversation since she woke up this morning. But this felt like their time, their moment. 

_Bast and Hanuman pulling the strings yet again,_ she thought to herself. 

There were no interruptions, no distractions. They had all night. They were in their element, in the mountains where the rest of the world fell away and they could be the best versions of themselves. 

_Another stolen moment?_ she wondered. But she knew that wasn't it. This was the first interaction that didn't feel stolen, it felt as if it was designed for them... made for them.

Asha felt like so much of the last few weeks were destiny, her love for M'Baku included. Asha was in love with him, she wanted him and would choose him if he was still willing to have her. All signs pointed to that, after all, why else would he go on this journey with her? If this was truly Bast's plan, why waste her opportunity? Suddenly, she had no desire to go another night without being his if that was the path she was on. They... she wasted so much time already fighting for something that she didn't even truly want.

But first, she knew there was something she needed to say, apologize for. She rejected him, for good reasons at the time, but it was rejection nonetheless. And he was still here, still fighting for her and her family without any assurance that she wanted him in return. It was a selflessness she questioned whether she actually deserved. 

"Can I say something?" she inquired, her fear of broaching this subject evident in her voice. Thankfully, without a fire for light, it was pitch black so she knew he couldn't see it. Her question was met with silence but she took that as permission to press forward.

"I-I'm sorry."

He side-eyed her suspiciously in the darkness, not understanding what the woman beside him had to apologize for. 

"I am sorry for choosing him. I thought I had good reasons, thought it was the right choice. At the time, it felt, he felt, like the only choice. Yet, I still pursued something with you, knowing I couldn't choose you. That wasn't fair. I-It was selfish. And I am sorry." 

There was silence for a while. Her anxiety was at an all-time high as she waited with bated breath for him to say something, say anything back to her. She wasn't even sure what she wanted to hear. 

"I want to see you. Like that first night." 

It was a simple request, one that didn't need additional explaining. Asha's small hands curled into tight fists. Unlike that first night where she had little control over her body and her powers, she had grown since then. The flames instantly grew large enough to swirl themselves into a tight ball, vibrant oranges and yellows dancing in an invisible encasing. 

She pushed the ball out and it floated away from her, dancing gracefully through the darkness as it slowly illuminated the cave around them, bathing them in a soft glow. Her hands repeated the motion until the cave was filled with light and heat of her own making, sourced by a dozen balls of fire.

M'Baku stared up at them for a few minutes, just as mesmerized by them and her as he was the first time around. He watched them gently float through the air, their heat warming him in a way his sleeping bag never could. He looked over at her, illuminated by her own magic, looking like the goddess he knew her to be. 

"No it wasn't fair. But I also pursued you when I knew you were taken. That was equally selfish. But I do not want nor will I accept an apology. The path was rugged but it got us here. I wouldn't change it." 

"Except maybe the part where I almost died. I would happily change that," she added. She smiled at the belly laugh M'Baku let out at her words, which echoed throughout their makeshift shelter. His smile and laugh filled her soul in a way no else could ever have. 

"Yes, definitely that part. So the journey got us here. Where is here?"

"I don't know," she said honestly. "I want you. I choose you, I know that much. But everything else... what this means for us, the Jabari, Wakanda? That I don't know." 

"Why does that matter?" 

She shifted to her side, looking at his profile. 

"B-because you are the leader of your tribe, I am the princess of our country. What we do with our lives has greater implications than our happiness. You said it yourself. If our happiness had anything to do with it, we wouldn't be here. It is our duty." 

He shifted to sit up slightly, his hand reaching out to find hers, interlocking their fingers together. 

"Yes. But our lives are still our own. All the other things work out on their own. They should not stop us. They won’t stop me. I want to be with you." 

Asha smiled, "So we are really doing this? You wish to date me? A vibranium-obsessed lowlander?" she teased. 

M'Baku couldn't help but notice something else under her teasing tone, uncertainty. She still needed confirmation that he wanted her. He would give that to her every day for the rest of his days if it helped her. 

He tugged on her arm, beckoning her to join him in his over-sized sleeping bag. She slid in next to him at his prompting, warmth spreading through her in new ways as they laid skin to skin. His knuckle stroked her cheek as he stared at her for a few minutes. 

"Yes. Because I am in love with you, Asha Udaka. I have been since the moment you walked into my throne room and will be until my last breath." 

His rough thumb wiped away the tears that fell down her face. 

"I love you too," she whispered, feeling the weight of holding that in lift off her shoulders. It felt good to say it, even better to feel it freely and openly. Asha had never felt this light before... weighed down by secrets of her powers, of her family, of her love for him. In a few short weeks, she went from being crushed under the sheer weight of it to being free from them all. 

His lips quickly captured hers before she could say another word. It started out gently but soon turned desperate as the couple tried to make up for lost time, tried to cram weeks of subtle touches and looks into this moment. M'Baku quickly shifted his body weight to be on top of her, her legs instantly wrapping around his waist as they kissed. His lips made their way to her neck as his hands roamed the rest of her willing body. She let out a breathy moan as he sucked her neck and his hands massaged her thighs, inching dangerously close to her core. 

Despite her heart literally doing back flips in her body, her logical mind couldn't help but demand she pump the breaks on this lust-filled tryst in the woods. She wanted him... Bast, she wanted him more than she wanted anything in this world. He was her drug and she was officially an addict. But he would be her first and she had heard enough from Nakia and Okoye to know that the first time can come with some unpleasantness among the pleasure. It only took two days in Jabariland to know that this was not his first time. She heard the staff gossip as she moved through the Great Lodge, the Lord of Jabariland knew his way around a woman's body and had many opportunities to practice. She was somewhat embarrassed by her lack of experience compared to him. But she knew enough about him to know, if he knew, he wouldn't judge her. He would just slow things down to put her at ease and ensure she was comfortable. And she wanted that. 

"M'Baku," she breathed, pushing against his shoulders. "M'Baku, wait." It was almost painful to ask him to stop, it went against every natural urge and instinct in her body. 

He immediately stopped, his hand coming to her face to cup her cheek, his eyes instantly apologetic. He took it too far, he knew it. He had just wanted this so bad, yearned for her like no other woman in the world. But after only agreeing to date five minutes prior, he should have known she wanted to take it slow. 

"I-I am sorry, Asha. I lost my head for a minute. That was inapp-" 

She captured his lips, kissing him deeply before sucking his bottom lip and breaking it off. 

"It is not that. I enjoyed it and I want to continue. I-it is just that, I have never been with anyone before. I thought you would want to know before w-we do this." 

M'Baku sighed, the better man in him winning out as her words sunk in. Regardless of how desperately he wanted this, this was not the way. He shifted them so they were both laying on their side again. Asha looked perplexed and slightly put out, taking his abrupt ending as rejection. 

"Why did you stop? I want to." 

"I do too. But your first time... our first time together, should not be in the cold on a hard cave floor. That is not what I want for us. We have waited this long, one more day until we get back to a real bed will not kill us."

Asha sighed, partially with relief that his reasoning was not rejection. 

He chuckled before kissing her on the forehead before she settled on his chest, her own sleeping bag cold and forgotten. 

“Good night, usana. Sleep well,” he whispered. 

And she did, going to sleep truly at peace for the first time in years. 


	7. Chapter 7

Asha groaned as she felt something nudging her shoulder, assuming it was M'Baku's feeble attempts to wake her up. "Five more minutes," she mumbled, her voice groggy and tired. She shifted on her side, burying her face deeper into his chest, her hand sliding across his midsection to hold onto him tighter. There was no response to her exhausted pleas for more sleep. In fact, she quickly realized that all she could hear were his loud, deep snores. Yet she still felt another more forceful nudge hit her back, forcing her eyes to pop open.

Her eyes trailed up his torso and landed on M’Baku’s face, eyes closed as he continued to sleep. Her lips curved into a content smile as she just stared at him… her boyfriend. It amazed her how far the pair had come in mere weeks… from only existing in quiet, hidden moments to being able to love each other loudly and freely. She decided to lean on his advice, not to dwell on those broader implications, the details they would have to sort out back home. She knew he already gained her sister and brother’s approval, which was all she truly cared about. But the jury was still out on the Council and her mother. Asha already had two strikes against her where the majority of them were concerned. 

_It does not matter,_ she decided. She seceded 25 years to the will and opinion of the Council and her parents, she refused to cower or give them a day more. She worried about the other things and how to be in a successful relationship when she had no experience. But she and M'Baku loved each other and they both had the will and desire to be together. That meant they would climb any walls, weather whatever storm, and extinguish any fires this world threw at them. She finally had the person and love she prayed for every night; she would not let him go without a fight. Her thoughts were interrupted by something hitting her yet again. She frustratingly turned around to come face to face with the same black panther as last night. Inches away from her face, the panther used its nose to nudge her shoulder, a silent demand to start the day.

"Fuck!" she yelped, sitting up abruptly. She, of course, knew it meant her no harm but was also not expecting such a jarring wake up call. Her traveling companion, however, did not have this luxury. Her loud outburst immediately pushed M'Baku out of his restful sleep. Forever the warrior, he leaped out of the sleeping bag, robbing Asha of his warm body heat, and immediately raised his knobkerrie, ready to strike. He examined the cave terrain wildly, searching for an unknown threat. 

"Stand down soldier," Asha chuckled as she ran her hands through the soft, thick black fur of the now resting panther, laying down relaxed after doing their job to wake the couple up. Her heart still thumped loudly against her chest as it tried to return to its resting rate. "It woke me up and I was n-not expecting a Bast wake-up call. Sorry for screaming," she offered before standing up herself.

"Damn panthers," M'Baku mumbled angrily under his breath. But he shook off his annoyance rather quickly as Asha cleared up their makeshift camp. "What time is it?"

Asha fiddled with her beads, immediately distracted by two texts from her brother and sister. "U-u-uh just after 7. But we better get going. Brother called an emergency council meeting 2 hours before the King's Exhibition. We need to find the herbs and get back to the palace before then." The balls of light keeping them warm the night prior bounced around as the two moved about, getting ready to finish the last leg of their journey. Asha raised her hands, each instinctively moving back toward their owner as her skin absorbed them. 

"Why a council meeting?" M'Baku asked as he pulled bags of fruit out of his bag for both to munch on for breakfast and swung it back on his shoulders. 

"Well, we do not need to convince the whole country... just the Mining and Border Tribes. No need to wait for the King's Exhibition if we can avoid it. It is supposed to be a fun and joyous event, believe it or not."

The two emerged from the cave, the Panther waiting for them on the small cliff. They fell in step behind it as it led them back to their original trail. The morning air was crisp and cold, the sun peeked through the swaying tree tops giving them a sliver of light. It still didn’t look like morning on their path though, the thick forest blocked out most of the sun. The mountain had a new layer of fresh, undisturbed snow, which did not remain long as their footprints smashed through it.

"What is the King's Exhibition anyway?" Despite not following the Panther Goddess, all of Wakanda was invited to partake in the celebrations of the week-long Festival of Bast. This was to be the Jabari's first year and he planned on participating to show solidarity. However, M’Baku quickly realized he had no idea what was involved.

"Oh, it is just a show of our King's strength and prowess in battle. Really just a chance for my oh-so-humble brother to show off. He basically fights the Dora, members of the King's Guard and then any challenger from across Wakanda. But unlike Challenge Day, no one is fighting to the death. It is more of a public training session. Everyone loses to him, of course," she added. 

"What is the point of it?" he inquired, knocking some branches out of their path. 

"It shows the strength Bast gives her protector. Her power and by extension, his power to protect all of us. It is quite fun to watch, or so I have heard," she added as a caveat. Snow drifted down lightly around them from the branches and leaves above them, immediately melting to water as it connected with her clothes. 

"You have never been?" 

She chuckled, managing to keep at least some of the bitterness out of her voice. "You would be surprised at the amount of things I have never seen or done. I have not celebrated a Festival of Bast in 15 years. Though, I didn't much care to celebrate her in those later years to be honest." M'Baku glanced over at her and noticed a flicker of shame and regret passing behind her dark brown eyes. 

"Hey," he said gently, pulling on her arm to stop her. "You don't need to feel ashamed about that. You did the best you could. Bast forgives, clearly," he said, gesturing toward the panther that stopped a few feet ahead of them to wait. 

Asha nodded softly, looking up at him to find concern in his big brown eyes… concern and intense love and adoration for her. Love and adoration that made her legs grow weak and the butterflies in her stomach flutter. She couldn’t explain it but it felt like the farther they went on this journey, the easier it became to open her heart and share her soul with this gentle giant beside her. She immediately thought back to what Bast told her, how the journey of loving and accepting herself would make loving others that much easier. Bast is rarely wrong.

"Thank you. I needed to hear that... be reminded of that. T-there is just so much I would have done differently had I known what I know now… you know?" she responded as they broke their eye contact and continued uphill. Asha, being someone who did not train incredibly often, was beginning to feel the strain of this journey as the air grew thinner and the path steeper. M'Baku seemed perfectly capable and fine with the hike but she was starting to grow that uncomfortable stitch in her side that she usually got when she trained with T'Challa. 

"Yes, regrets are the price we pay for living. We all struggle with that… trust me. But it is not about how you lived before, but how you choose to live now. All those things you would do differently, you can do going forward. You have a bright future ahead, Asha. You have to just decide what you want to do with it."

Silence fell over the two; the only sounds were the soft crunch of snow beneath their boots, the random babble of animals moving through the trees around them as she contemplated his words. Asha went from having no real future at all to the one she always dreamed of. However, she now had to apply those dreams to her real life. She was no longer limited, chained in darkness with small fleeting glimpses of the sun. She was fully stepping in the light and she could finally bask in its warmth, serenity, and peace. Now that she was standing in the sun, she was not sure exactly what path she should forge. But she knew, a path without M'Baku was not a viable one. Where the light took her, she was determined to have him by her side loving and affirming her. 

The inner light now flooding Asha's life was only eclipsed by the darkness the forest plunged them in as they trekked farther up the mountainside. It was as ominous as the night before, possibly even more so since they both knew the sun was shining above the thick treetops. The rustles and chatter of the forest seemed to get louder as they went, M'Baku constantly raising his weapon and shielding Asha as if a monster was seconds away from emerging from the trees. Each step seemed to dial up the creepy meter of the whole journey, putting the two on edge. They were not deterred; at the top of this summit laid their destiny, their reason for being. They had no choice but to press forward, stomping out any anxiety or fear that tried to poke through their armor of confidence. 

"Do you like Jabariland?" M'Baku asked out of the blue.

Asha gave him a confused look from the corner of her eye, noting the way his hands fidgeted. Was he nervous? "It is gorgeous... the people were amazing. I felt more at home there... more at peace than I ever had in the Golden City. What is not to like?" 

"Yes, but could you see you-" he started to say before he cut himself off, raising his hand to stop her. The panther leading their way had stopped, halting in front of a break in the trees. Asha walked to stand behind it and saw them.

"Glory to Hanuman," M'Baku whispered, amazed that a childish dream and a hunch led them to this. The only two people in the world who could make it to this promised land. The herbs sat in the middle of the clearing, covered in thick clear ice. But nothing could diminish the distinct and almost magical purple glow of the heart-shaped herb. The purple glow reflected across the white snow as the bright sun shined down on the field, filled with more herbs than either could have dreamed of. 

"Bast... M'Baku, this is it. You were right!" Asha exclaimed, clutching his thick bicep. "W-we can save T’Challa, w-w-we can save the Black Panther." She hadn’t let herself get too attached to the idea that they were right, after all, it was a longshot. But here they were, staring their and Bast’s dreams in the face and it was glorious. 

The moment her foot connected with the hard Earth in the clearing, it started. It was soft initially, like faint distant whispers as several quiet voices invaded her ears. She pushed forward, ignoring them. Nothing would stop her now. With each inch forward, the voices grew louder and more unruly. Asha had no idea what they were saying, what they wanted. She knew it was all in her head but she understood why such a phenomenon would drive people away from this place. It was almost impossible to ignore and it was terrifying. A piercing pain started to spread through her skull as she tried to continue. Soon the pain, the symphony became too loud to ignore. 

"Ah!" she cried out as she fell to her knees, so close that a herb was within arm’s reach.

"Asha!” He had been watching from the tree with the panther and rushed forward when she hit the ground. He was at her side in record speed. He clutched her face, rotating her head in his hands as tears streamed from her eyes. He examined her head and body finding no obvious injury, realizing that the voices they were warned found their next victim. 

She whimpered slightly from the pain, unable to speak as it became too much to handle. He felt his world crumbling at her pain and distress. He wondered if his hypothesis was wrong. Had he brought her all the way here, pumping her soul with false hope with every mile only to push her into a world of pain? 

"Asha... It's gonna be ok... Go back and I will get the herb. It is ok, you have done more than enough," he whispered, offering more encouraging words as he helped her to her feet. The pain had yet to subside, she was not sure if she had experienced agony such as this before. But as she started to walk back toward safety, the black panther, a casual and quiet guide up until this point, brandished its teeth at her and growled deeply. Its body blocked the way back toward the trees, forcing her to stay there. As if a cue, more panthers emerged from the trees surrounding them, pacing so neither could retreat. M'Baku, deciding that the sooner they had an herb in hand, the sooner they would be allowed to leave, reached to pull one out of the Earth. However, he pulled and pulled but its roots were unmovable. The ice casing around the herb was too thick to break and remove the herb from its flower and the ground was too hard to rip the flower from the soil. He tried everything he had in his arsenal while whatever magical properties inhabiting this mountain brought his all-powerful partner to her knees. 

Asha pushed through her pain and watched him struggle with the plant, a realization dawning on her. There was a reason it was the two of them and no one else. Further proof that their survival depended on each other, that their destinies were intertwined long before they knew of each other's existence. He got them here and now, she had to do her part.

"I-I h-have to melt th-th-the ice, M'Baku. W-we can’t t-take them frozen l-like… this. I c-can do it," she pushed out, her breathing labored as she tried to overcome the pain and channel her powers. 

M'Baku immediately shook his head, "Asha... you were on death's door not even a full 48 hours ago, you are not strong enough to use your powers like this yet." 

Asha shook her head, "I made it up this m-mountain. This is my purpose, I c-cannot.... I w-will not fail.” She crawled closer to the herb and sunk her warm hands into the thick snow around the herb closest to her. 

“Bast, give me strength," she whispered to herself. She closed her eyes and channeled all the fire, the heat in her being down into her palms and fingers. She imagined the field in her mind and pictured projecting that heat outward like a blanket. Her labored breathing grew as she fueled all the power in her body into the ground beneath her. the heat from her internal flame slowly melting the clear ice protecting each herb. 

Asha grew concerned, as she tried to melt all the herbs that she did not have enough energy for this task. She could feel her steam running out. Thankfully, the ice transitioned to water on the last herb just as her body grew cold, void of any flames. As soon as the last herb thawed, Asha's eyes fell closed slowly, her body slumping into the snow as her mind succumbed to the voices and tumbled into her past. 

_T'Challa and Asha circled each other on a deep blue training map, the 10-year-old pushing her exhaustion aside to train with her older brother. She and T'Challa went blow for blow for a few minutes, trading hits as they danced across the training floor. She had gotten surprisingly better since they started training together, improving far more in their secret limited sessions than her actual training. She was small and quick, which helped her keep up with him even though he was clearly more skilled and stronger._

_A few minutes of skillful fighting and she found herself on her brother's back, arm around his neck holding him in a chokehold. "Yield!" she demanded playfully._

_"Never," he retorted as he flipped her over his head and forced her to the ground. He did it as slow as possible, as to not actually hurt her. She rolled on her back for a few minutes, catching her breath before standing again and starting the process over._

_Their second fight went similarly. However, Asha suddenly felt different. She felt like another energy source coursing through her veins. She figured it was merely a second wind to help her fight. It propelled her to fight harder than she usually did, forcing T'Challa to up his game. She and T'Challa circled each other before he lunged toward her again. She raised her hand to block his first attempt when he jumped back unexpectedly, dodging with grace toward the side. Bewilderment filled her eyes until she saw a line of fire separating the two siblings._

_"A- Asha... what is going on?" he asked tentatively as he pushed himself to stand._

_Asha looked down at her hands to find them covered in flames. "Oh my bast!" She dropped to the ground and tried to stomp them out by banging her hands on the floor, but they wouldn't die. Her hand felt fine, she did not feel the agony of being on fire and yet she was. "T'Challa... what is happening to me??" she cried, panic setting in as she stared at this peculiarity._

_"I do not know. But stay calm, I will get baba. It will be alright Asha."_

_Asha sunk to the ground, tears streaming down her face as she watched her hands and, unbeknownst to her at the time, her future burn right before her eyes._

_The training room dissolved, her father's office replacing it as Asha sat, hands back to normal, next to T'Challa as he tried to calm her down. He rubbed comforting circles into his young and extremely distraught sister's back as they waited for their father to speak. Her father paced by his desk, throwing agitated looks at his daughter every few minutes, making her feel as though she had done something wrong._

_"She is one of them. A mutant," he spat out with disgust._

_"So what do we do?" their mother asked quietly from the other side of the office, keeping a healthy distance from her now dangerous daughter. "You have campaigned against mutants in our borders for years. This will look like hypocrisy."_

_"We do nothing," T'Chaka hissed. "We do nothing, we say nothing. No one can know about this."_

_T'Challa stood, a look of disbelief painted on his face, "How do you expect to keep this a secret? She is a princess? It is not like you can just hide her away."_

_"No, that is exactly what we are going to do. She almost killed you, T'Challa! Her powers are uncontrollable. We will find a way to suppress them until she is old enough to control them. Until then, she will not leave the palace," her father decided resolutely. It was not lost on Asha how they all spoke about her as if she were a mere object and not a person sitting right in front of them._

_She shared a scared look with her brother before the scene changed again. She was now sitting on her brother's bed as he prepared for his 18th birthday party. They had been laughing and joking around, until their father appeared in the doorway._

_"Yes baba?" he asked._

_"You look good, strong. Please finish quickly. It is not good to be late to a party in your honor." Asha wanted to shrink herself or have the floor dissolve her as her father's eyes scanned the room. In the last three years, she found the best way to survive in her home was to simply avoid her father at all cost. At least then, he could not verbally castigate her for merely existing._

_"Asha!" he barked, "What are you doing?"_

_Asha hung her head, "I was just helping T'Challa get ready. I will go back to my room."_

_He nodded, "Good. We cannot have anyone seeing you wandering around during the party. Go now."_

_"Yes, baba." Asha climbed off T'Challa's bed and started to walk toward the door. "Happy Birthday, T." She gave him a tight hug and a wide smile, mainly for his benefit. She did not want him worrying about her on his big birthday and knew he was already concerned about leaving her without her only advocate when he went away for university. That smile carried her until she was out of the view of his door and down the hallway to her own room._

_Her brother's room disappeared as an intense argument in the royal gardens formed, Asha face to face with Hasani._

_“What is the issue? It is just a date outside this Bast forsaken palace?"_

_An adult Asha tried to let him down easy, gave all the excuses her father outlined for her and he refused to accept any of them. It was almost as if he wanted to catch her in a lie. "I cannot leave. I would feel more comfortable if we just stayed in."_

_"No! I want to go on a real date outside of this palace. Today!" he demanded rudely. Asha scoffed silently. She knew the courting dates were part of the royal deal, her dad's attempt to pawn her off on someone else. However, she did not need to put up with another verbally abusive man in her life, her father was more than enough._

_"Perhaps we should just chat another day? You seem upset, Hasani and I do not wish to upset you further. You know your way out, yes?" she said politely, deciding to deescalate the situation before it grew out of control. She turned away from him slightly, preparing to walk out of the gardens._

_"No!" A hand enclosed around her wrist and yanked her back. His grip was so tight that Asha knew a bruise would blossom on her wrist later._

_"Hasani, you are hurting me! Let me go!" she whispered, trying to avoid a scene as she failed to tug her hand out of his grip. She looked around for a passing Dora, cursing herself for telling Alexis that she did not need to watch over her during this date. She could feel the Panther beating against its cage, determined for release as someone attacked its owner. Even with the rings donning each of her fingers, she knew the flames were growing to uncontrollable levels. "Hasani, I do not want to hurt you, please let me go!" she begged, knowing that this was not headed in any good direction._

_He scoffed, "What could you do to hurt me?"_

_As if on cue, sparks flew out of her hands, one hitting him right on his wrist causing him to jump back several feet. Fire shot out of her extended hand, drawing a line between them to protect her._

_"W-w-what the fuck? I-I knew you weren't sick!" he cried, outraged._

_Asha's hands clamped over her mouth in shock as she tried to approach him and make this right. "Hasani, please! I-it is not what it looks like!" But it was too late, he was off, Asha knew, to tell his mother who was meeting with her father in his office. She took off running after him, knowing that whatever happened next... she would certainly pay for this._

_She was back in her father's office, Asha arguing with her father who refused to listen. "But I do not love him, baba! And he doesn’t love me! H-he hates me! H-he treats me horribly. You cannot expect me to marry him!"_

_"I don't particularly care if you love him or not. Sometimes arranged marriages are a necessary part of being royalty. You were the fool that showed your… disease to him. These are the consequences."_

_Asha threw up her hands, anger causing tears to stream down her face as she defended herself for the 100th time for the incident that thrusted her into this mess. She shared an exasperated glance at her brother and sister, the only two people who were ever on her side. "It was an accident, baba! I swear."_

_She knew she messed up, she regretted it everyday but she didn’t deserve this. She especially didn’t deserve the bloodied cut and bruise on her face, the reason her brother dragged her to her father’s office to demand the engagement be called off. It took Asha, Okoye and three other Dora to pull T’Challa off Hasani after he happened to walk in on an argument between the couple right as the back of Hasani’s hand connected with Asha’s cheek. It was the first time he had ever done such a thing and Asha knew it would be last since her brother made it clear he would not live to tell the tale if he touched her like that again._

_"Sometimes I think you are determined to destroy this family and everything I built," he said as he settled behind his desk. "It is like you do not care if this family survives."_

_If he had slapped her in the face, that would have been less painful. "How could you say that?" she whispered, the hurt clear in her words._

_"Baba! Please!" T'Challa said, no longer a young boy now but a grown man who refused to let anyone, even his beloved baba, attack his sister. He pushed Asha behind him as if he could act as a physical barrier between her and their father's verbal abuse. He, of course, knew it was too little too late to protect her from him but he tried to mitigate where he could. "Asha is not trying to destroy us by refusing to marry an abusive man. You did not hear the way he spoke to her. Why would you want her to marry a man who cares so little for her? Who is blackmailing our family into it? He has already proven that he has no self-control or respect for her. If you think those bruises were a one-time incident, you are mistaken. These lies have gone far enough, it cannot be worth it anymore."_

_"Enough!" King T'Chaka yelled, silencing his disobedient and reckless children. "T'Challa, you will stay out of it. You will be king one day but that is not today. And Asha, you will marry Hasani. You are lucky I was able to find this man for you. He is of royal blood, far better than you could have hoped for. Now, T'Challa and I will be leaving for Sokovia in a week's time. I suggest you take that time to accept this. I will not have this conversation with you again."_

_Asha nodded softly, her "Yes baba" so despondent and quiet that it broke T'Challa's heart. She shrugged off his comforting hand from her shoulder and raced out of the room. Asha rarely left her dad's office without tears clouding her vision, today was no different._

Asha woke among the dirt and swaying grass of the Ancestral Plane. Her second visit was far less confusing, almost as if she expected it. Bast did say she would see her again so she supposed this was that time. And this time, she knew she was not actually dead, which offered a small comfort. 

She stood up and dusted the dirt off the long white dress with gold trim now hanging over her shoulders. Her bare feet sunk into the soft dirt as she walked toward a tree overflowing with black panthers. She did not need prompting, did not need Bast to lead her way. The path, the course forward, who she needed to speak to was as clear as day. She did not get very close before one jumped down from a high branch and landed in front of her. 

_Baba,_ she thought to herself. Sure enough, she watched as the panther quickly turned into a man... her father. 

The two simply stood there, feet apart and stared at each other. He looked smaller than he did in life. He was never a big person, but his presence made up for what he lacked in stature... strong and intimidating. She never got to see the gentle King everyone else adored and worshiped. She had always only gotten the worst of him. She could not deny the small part of her that was filled with the urge to rush forward and hug him, the part that was still desperate for his approval and his love. But the larger part forced her feet to stay planted like a tree firmly in the same spot. She expected there to be more resentment toward him. What once was a burning inferno seemed more like a small contained fire, still present and noticeable but not all consuming.

"Why are you here... again?" he asked. 

"That seems to be a question for Bast, not me... I found a new garden of the Heart-Shaped Herb and when I thawed it, I passed out. And I guess she brought me here." 

"You found a new garden?" He did not even try to hide the surprise in his voice. 

Asha scoffed, bowing her head slightly, turning away from him to study the horizon and the pale yellow and orange sky. "Always a tone of surprise. Apparently, Bast doesn't hate me or my kind as much as you did." 

"I never hated you Asha." 

"Really? You could have fooled me. 15 years... 15 years, you treated me like a prisoner, like I was nothing to you. If you did not hate me, you certainly didn't love me. It does not benefit either of us to pretend otherwise," she added coldly. If she was going to speak to him, it would be rooted in honesty, not historical fiction to sugar coat his actions simply because he died. 

"I did not know how to deal with a child who was more powerful than I. Bast told me you were destined for great things and I refused to believe it. I was so obsessed with the mantle of King that I lost sight of... well, everything. I have had much time to think since being here." 

"Yes, I would imagine death gives you all the time in the world to contemplate your failings," Asha responded, that small fire of resentment showing in her words, regardless of how she tried to contain it. The beautiful and serene terrain of the Planes did nothing to counter the frustration bubbling beneath the surface. She did not know what she expected from a conversation with her father but this was lacking. But she wondered if every conversation would; after all he could not come back from the dead and redo her childhood. His damage was set in stone and no words would fix it. 

"What will you do now?" 

"I will take the herb down the mountain and save _your_ golden son and your tribe from being uprooted. That is all T'Challa and I seem to do lately, save our country from your failures. I will save your country, as Bast destined it. And then, I will find my place in that country, the place you selfishly denied me for decades," Asha responded. 

T'Chaka nodded sadly, "Can you forgive me? I was not perfect in life. I made so many mistakes that forced you and T'Challa down paths that almost led to Wakanda's destruction. If I could go back, if I could have a chance at life anew, I would do so much differently. I did not hate you, I hated your powers and what they represented. But for you, I am sure that distinction means little. I failed you as a father... I failed you as your King and unfortunately, my realizations came too late. I can't fix it; I can't make it up to you. But I can apologize… and I am so sorry. Truly." 

Asha did not hate her father, that was true. She did not know if she loved him either. But she had finally lost almost all the anchors of her past life, this was the final one. No amount of harbored resentment would fix his mistakes. Hating him until the end of her days, refusing to forgive until she was in a tree in the Planes next to him would not give her the life and childhood she desperately had wanted and deserved. She knew she needed to learn how to move on, to stop being weighed down by the past. She did not need to love her father to forgive him. She could not carry this pain, this resentment into her new life. She deserved to be light, not weighed down by someone else's failures and insecurities.

"A king who admits his faults? Quite the rarity." She refused to look at him, still studying the horizon, "You know I used to pray to Bast to take my powers, take my life, take everything so that you could love me. So that you could look at me as you looked at T'Challa and Shuri, with love, adoration, and hope. I wanted that so bad for so long that it almost killed me. Everyday felt like a festering wound that just would not heal. Your ego allowed me to wake up every day without hope, without light. Y-you caused that and, to be honest, I never thought I could forgive you for it. For planting seeds of hatred so deep in my heart that I started to believe them to be my own thoughts, my own insecurities." 

She turned to face him finally, "But I cannot live that way anymore. I have finally started to uproot those weeds and my soul is so light," Asha sighed as tears sprung to her eyes, "that sometimes it feels as though I could fly away. I will never again be weighed down by the hatred you sowed nor the hatred your actions sowed in me for you. I will never feel for you as your other children do, but I do not need to hate you. I appreciate your apology and I forgive you."

"Thank you. I wish I could be there... to see the new garden," he whispered. "I wish I could be there to right so many wrongs." 

"You are right where you need to be, T'Chaka," an angelic voice interrupted. They both turned to find Bast behind them. T'Chaka bowed slightly, stepping aside so the Goddess could approach. Asha stood tall as Bast stood directly in front of her, her face beaming with pride and joy. 

"So, you solved my riddle?" Bast asked. 

"Yes, but you couldn't have made it easier?" 

"Well... There is just no fun in that. I am so proud of you, Asha. You fulfilled your destiny and Wakanda's future, that was once destroyed, is now like that garden: overflowing and teeming with life and hope. That is because of you and Lord M'Baku. Now I have a few final requests of you before you return to your life, if you do not mind?" 

Asha raised her eyebrow, knowing the only acceptable answer was yes. She just nodded and waited for Bast to proceed. 

"One, keep the Garden where it is. There will be a desire to move them to the Hall of Kings. But that mountain will serve as the bridge that connects the Jabari to Wakanda and the Black Panther. It must stay where it is to thrive. Two, you are learning about your powers, finally understanding and controlling them. Do not let another living soul limit them again. Three, love is overflowing in your life. It has not always felt like it, I know, but I hope you feel it now. Do not lose sight of the love you have, the family you have, as you settle into the mountains with your new one. There is space for it all." 

Asha wrinkled her nose, laughing lightly. "Family in the mountains? M'Baku and I certainly are not there yet. Besides, I still need to find my place here." 

"Of course... your place in Wakanda just may have a bit colder climate than you think, Asha Udaka," Bast mused. "It is time to go now. I expect I will not be seeing you again until your life has run its course, but worry not. You have a long and vibrant life ahead surrounded by those you love and who love you immeasurably." 

Bast wrapped Asha into a hug so loving, so tender that only a Goddess could conjure such a thing. So much waited for her on the other side, and for the first time, she could not wait to get back to them. 

*** 

"Asha! Are you alright?" M'Baku whispered as her eyes fluttered open. He helped her sit up, propping her upper body against his legs. She had only been passed out for a few minutes. He figured it was a by-product of using her powers, so he was trying to limit the beast of fear trying to take control of his heart. Her breathing and pulse were both strong while she laid in the snow, which made him worry only marginally less. He felt rather useless as he watched over her unconscious body, the panthers patrolling their path still not allowing him to leave and seek help if he had tried. 

He could not contain the shout to Hanuman that erupted when she started to move again, showing signs of life and consciousness. 

"M’Baku?" she whispered, looking around with confused and heavy eyes. 

"A-are you ok? You passed out; do you remember anything?" 

"Bast," she responded simply, knowing there would be time for detailed explanations later. "We have to go… we have to go back." She pushed herself out of his grasp and after a few minutes, to her feet. Her body was tired, her energy completely depleted but the work was still not done. 

"How many do we need to take? We cannot carry all of these down the mountain?" 

"No, no. Just one or two. The rest must stay here, according to Bast," she replied, reaching into the petals to pull out the herb at their center from the two closest to them. It glowed a soft purple in her hand. Her backpack slid off her shoulders, allowing her to stick them in a pouch. 

"Alright, let's go!" M'Baku whispered, tugging at her arm after seeing that the walking barriers had all disappeared and they were free to retreat down the mountain. Before they turned to leave, Asha pressed one of the black beads on her wrist, a digital camera emerging. She snapped a few pictures and a quick video of the field before falling in line behind M'Baku. They had a tribe to save.

****

Asha fidgeted nervously, sharing anxious glances with M'Baku as they waited with bated breath for her brother to enter the council meeting. They arrived back in the Golden City with mere minutes to spare before the meeting, two herbs in her pocket and a video of the garden. Shuri chastised them for giving her an ulcer during their long absence. However, she couldn’t hide the deep sigh of relief as the pair rushed through the tall gold trimmed throne room doors with triumph and hope in their eyes.

Asha scanned the council circle, passing by M’Baku’s reassuring eyes, to connect eyes with Elder Shani. Far from her usual contempt, her eyes were filled loathing and disgust. Instinctively, Asha felt herself starting to wilt like a dying flower. But something in her pushed back, forcing her to sit up straighter and send a pointed, cold glare back at the woman. Never again would someone else’s disdain silence her or force her to cower.

Their staring match only ended when the double doors entered. They all rose from their seats, saluting T’Challa as he walked to his seat, as cool and calm as ever. They did not have to wait long before he started speaking, getting right to the point of this meeting.

"I have called this meeting because much has changed in the last 36 hours, many things revealed about the Panther Tribe. Many have questioned my fitness to be king in light of these revelations. A lesser man would sit here and defend these lies but I cannot. They were an error in judgement, an error that was not my decision to start but could have,” he sighed, “Should have been mine to end once I became King. I did not. And for that, I am sorry. A king that cannot admit his failures is no king at all, only a tyrant. I know Elder Shani has lobbied many of you, encouraged you to demand a new challen-“

Elder Shani jumped up from her seat, her disrespect toward the throne on display as she cut the King short. "That is right! He is not fit to be King! Not while you and your family hid this abomination.” Her finger wagged in Asha's direction, forcing all eyes toward the young woman. She sat up a bit straighter, noting the looks of fear from some, the admiration from others.

"You expressed no qualms with our secrets when you were blackmailing my sister into an engagement with your abusive son, when it suited your needs. I have forcibly removed you from this throne room once, do not make me do it again. Sit down," T'Challa threatened, his voice low and menacing.

The elders of the Mining and Border Tribes shared a concerned look. They had taken the time to listen to Shani's pleads, and agreed with her in many ways. But they were quickly realizing the error in taking her words as the only truth.

"Now. I could plead my case, preach to you all about why I am fit to wear the crown of King and hold the mantle of the Black Panther. However, this conversation is not about me or my fitness. It is about our country's distrust and hatred toward the more powerful... the chosen among us... the Wakandan like my sister." He offered Asha a small smile before continuing, "Prior to today, Wakandan's future was in a precarious state. Prior to today, the mantle of Black Panther was to die with me. And if we went through with today’s challenge, the centuries-old legacy would die today. That is just one of many reasons why Elder Shani’s desires are so short sighted. However, Bast... and Hanuman, it seems, have other plans. Asha, a powerful and chosen member of this family, and Lord M'Baku, have breathed new life into our dying future."

"What do you mean?" Elder M’Kathu inquired, leaning forward with interest.

"I shall allow my sister to show you." T'Challa nodded at Asha, giving her the cue to pull the bright purple herbs from the pouch in her lap. They attracted everyone's eyes, captivating everyone with their glistening light.

The throne room filled with exclamations of shock, joy and excitement.

"How is this possible?" He asked in amazement. "N’Jadaka burned all the herbs."

"He burned all the herbs we knew of, yes. But there is another garden hidden on the edge of Jabariland. Bast led Lord M'Baku and I there. There are enough herbs on the top of that mountain to sustain the Black Panther for hundreds of years," Asha explained.

"Without my sister, without this gift Bast bestowed upon her, we... this country would have been lost. Without the Jabari so many of you despise, we would have been lost. Bast led the first Warrior Shaman to the herb years ago to save us from tearing ourselves apart. Today, she led Asha and a Jabari there to do the same. Together, two people, who represent what so many fear, opened a door that our failures shut forever.”

He stood up, pacing behind his chair as he spoke.

“That is bigger than me, it is bigger than Elder Shani, and it is bigger than our ignorance. Her campaign against me is rooted in hatred, hatred for a people who just saved our country. I ask you to vote against a new challenge, not because it suits me, but because we have the opportunity to build a new Wakanda. A Wakanda built on love and mutual respect for all of Bast's and Hanuman's people, not on the unstable foundation of distrust and prejudice.” He paused. “Now Elder Shani, I believe you have a proposal to raise for our vote. I await you all’s judgement and decision.”

Her brother’s passionate monologue was met with silence, silence as Asha watched each person introspectively think about the future they wanted, the Wakanda they wanted.

Elder Shani stood up once more, clearly unmoved by this new discovery or her brother’s passionate speech unlike everyone else in the room. It seemed she was committed to dying on this hill and was more than willing to do so alone. “This boy speaks of a new Wakanda, a new order. Wakanda prospered for hundreds of years before King T’Challa and it will do so after him. He does not think the way we do, he does not respect our traditions and so, he should not be King. I raise the motion to invoke a new Challenge Day, so we may have a King that will respect our traditions.”

“The motion is on the floor. Elder Shani, how do you vote?” Asha’s heart raced, praying that her faith in Elder M’Kathu and Elder Olabisi was not misplaced, that her brother’s words had swayed them to choose progress over hate. Asha felt Shuri’s hand grab hers and squeeze it tightly as they listened.

“Yay.”

“Lord M’Baku?”

“Nay.” Unlike his girlfriend, who was clearly filled with nervous energy, M’Baku seemed annoyed and bored with this whole spectacle, simply ready for this to be over so they could officially move on with their lives.

“Elder Kwame?”

“Nay.” Nakia’s stoic and quiet father responded swiftly with a nod to his daughter who sat beside the Queen Mother. Asha’s already racing heart seemed to beat even harder as they reached the two undecided Elders, the two that had the potential to change the fate of her family forever.

“Elder M’Kathu?”

A beat.

“Nay.”

Despite wanting to jump up and praise Bast, Asha maintained her composure, they all did. T’Challa offered the older man a head nod as a silent thank you for his support before finishing the roll out of obligation. For good measure, Elder Olabisi also voted against the motion, effectively leaving Elder Shani on an island alone.

“Thank you, thank you all. I believe together we can build a stronger Wakanda. Thank you for believing in that future as well. This meeting is now adjourned and I will see everyone at the King’s Exhibition.”

The room stood and saluted him, all except Elder Shani and her son who swept from the room as soon as the final word left T’Challa’s mouth.

At the official end of the meeting, Asha immediately walked to her brother and wrapped him in a tight hug.

“I am so glad I didn’t ruin everything,” she whispered in his ear, finally letting out that sigh of relief she had been holding in. She felt as if that weight finally evaporated from her shoulders. “Thank you.”

“ _Thank you,_ ” he emphasized, pulling back to look at her. “You could never ruin us, Asha. You are the best of us. You saved usand for that, I could never thank you enough. You both,” he motioned for Shuri to join their group hug, “are the best sisters I could ask for.” 

Asha broke apart from her siblings, giving space for others to congratulate her brother, and walked toward M’Baku. He stood, in the now-repaired window she destroyed, staring down into the heart of the Golden City, which was bustling with activity and life as everyone prepared for the coming festival.

She stood beside him, looking out at her home with something other than envy and heartache for the first time. Hope. They stood in silence for a bit, the chatter of Asha's family fading away as they slid back into their own small world.

"Thank you, M'Baku. T-this would not have been possible without you, without the Jabari. Thank Bast you decided to concern yourself with the drama of us lowlanders," she teased.

He chuckled, his brain conjuring that moment on the fields of the Great Mound, deciding to play along with her game. He remembered exactly how that conversation went… he would never forget it. "Well, it seems you all continue to need us to save you."

She turned briefly and smiled at his profile, leaning against the window. "Yes... it seems we do. Wakanda is forever in your debt. Perhaps she will find a way to repay you one day." She added, stealing his line. 

A tug at her arm brought her close to him, the space between them evaporating. He cupped her face, uninhibited love and adoration passing between them. Her signature sparks immediately encircling the couple as he stared down at her, the love of his life, the woman he felt Hanuman destined for him to be with until the end of his days.

“She led me to you and now I am forever in her debt,” he whispered as his lips captured hers, the audience of her family mere feet away from them mattered little. The two kissed deeply for a few moments before a wolf whistle caused them to break away.

Asha laughed as she looked over and saw her entire family, minus her mother, staring at the couple with shocked and excited grins. Shuri continued to cheer loudly before her brother pinched her and ushered her out of the throne room. He winked at her before allowing the doors to slam shut and giving them some much-needed privacy.

“Come to Jabariland.”

“What?”

“Later this week. I-I need to head back tonight and you should spend time with your siblings. But come to Jabariland for a few days, spend some time together where you aren’t almost dying and I am not having to save that brother of yours.”

Asha mulled it over in her head. Though she figured her brother would be slightly annoyed at her absence from some of the festival events, she yearned for the private and uninterrupted time with M’Baku. She had not truly rested in the last 4 days, had not taken a real breath. There, they could finally do that together.

“I would love to.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter! I might do an epilogue but we will see. Thank you so much to everyone who has read a chapter, left a kudos or a comment... this has been so much fun for me to write and I am truly appreciative of the kind words!

“Nakia!” Asha smiled as she threw some more clothes in a bag and beckoned her friend into her bedroom. She eyed Nakia and the medium-sized gift bag in her hand suspiciously as one of her closest friends sat down on her king-sized bed. 

“What is that?” Asha asked, gesturing toward the bag as she pulled a dress off the hanger. 

Nakia smiled slyly, “We will get to that in a second. First, I just wanted to see how you were doing. The last few days… weeks, years frankly, have been tough for you.” 

Asha smiled and reached across the bed to squeeze her future queen’s hand. Nakia was the big sister she didn’t have but always hoped for. And she knew she would be the perfect queen for them all.

“I am good, Nakia. Fantastic, actually. I got what I wanted, T’Challa’s position and title are safe. Everything is good now.” 

Nakia nodded but Asha could see the speculation in her eyes, the look that called her positive attitude into question. 

“Yes. All of that is true. But look at what it took to get there? Your father died, you watched your brother get murdered, you endured verbal abuse from all sides, you almost died… twice, according to M’Baku. I’ve seen enough of this world to know a happy ending doesn’t mean the road to them wasn’t paved with trauma and pain. It’s just… I’ve seen what happens when people don’t address what it took to get them what they wanted, what it cost them. I don’t want that for you, nor does your brother. Just, if you ever want to talk, let me know?” 

Asha bowed her head, she didn’t like to think Nakia was right. What mattered most, in her mind, was the fact that they were ok now. But she could not ignore all the tragedies littered throughout her life, the scars they left. She couldn’t pretend like those wounds of her chains healed just because she escaped them. 

“You will be my first call, I promise.” Asha came around to sit on the bed next to her. “Thank you for being here for me.” 

Nakia smiled and squeezed her hand. She pushed the bag toward the young girl. “Always. Now onto the fun part of my visit. This is for you.”

Asha grinned brightly as she excitedly tore the tissue paper out of the bag and pulled out several pieces of lingerie, her grin fading slightly with shock.

“Nakia,” she whined. “What is all this??” 

“It is for your trip. Essential wear.” 

“’Essential wear??’ N-Nakia, I d-don’t think we are going to get there yet.” She let the skimpy Burgundy lace fall back into the bag, laughing lightly. 

“Maybe you won’t, but maybe you will. Look, I see the way Lord M’Baku looks at you - he is ready to rip those clothes off your body every time you’re in the same room. He wants to show you the might of the Jabari, FIRST HAND!” Both girls laughed at her callback to M’Baku’s epic entrance at the battle on the Great Mound. “And if that is what you want, you should.” 

“I am sure my brother does not know about this part of your visit,” Asha mused. 

“No, he doesn’t,” Nakia admitted. “Because it isn’t his business, or mine, to be frank. I just wanted you to be prepared if you decide to travel down that road. Essential wear for the journey.”

She threw Asha a wink before leaving her to mull over her thoughts. Asha didn’t understand her own hesitation. Perhaps she was just overthinking it. The cave… it was spur of the moment, natural, intimate and unexpected. All their best moments were just that… unexpected. They produced magic when she didn’t have time to analyze or second guess, when she just lived in the moment with him. And here she was overanaylzing and second guessing. Her fingers fiddled with the edge of the gift bag as she thought. Nakia was right; M’Baku wanted her and she wanted him, desperately so. She pulled each piece of lingerie out, eyeing each one with speculation. They left little to the imagination but they were gorgeous. She slipped both into her suitcase. 

Just in case. 

****  
“Try not to destroy the palace while I’m gone eh?” She implored as she gave Shuri a hug outside. 

Shuri, who looked like someone had just stolen her pet panther, nodded sadly. “You’ll call me tomorrow right? Make sure they haven’t turned you into an anti-vibranium fanatic?” 

Asha laughed, “Yes I will call you tomorrow, I promise. Don’t look so glum, I will be back in a few days.” 

“I know, it is just hard to say bye to you. I am usually begging for this one to get out of here.” Asha laughed as T’Challa clutched his imaginary pearls in faux offense. “But you are the constant of our triangle. It’s not the same without you.” 

Asha’s nose wrinkled, shocked to see her sister so despondent about her leaving. She glanced at T’Challa, whose face was also a bit crestfallen but he did a better job of hiding it. 

“Come on guys! I’m gonna be gone for a few days, a week tops. I have to come back… all my clothes are here,” she joked, trying to lighten the mood. Her joke only earned her small chuckles much to her dismay. 

“Would you want it to be permanent, though?”

“What do you mean?” 

“Would you want to live in Jabariland? With M’Baku?” T’Challa asked, already knowing the answer even if she didn’t yet. 

“I hadn’t thought about it honestly. Maybe, one day.” Under her siblings’ knowing stares, she amended her statement. “But M’Baku and I are trying to go slow, take our time. We have been dating for two days, I doubt he is redecorating the Lodge for me yet.”

T’Challa and Shuri shared a knowing glance that didn’t go unnoticed before ushering her toward the plane, a sudden 180 turn from their original despondent looks. “What was that look for?” 

T’Challa smiled, “Nothing. We just think you are underestimating the speed of the Jabari. Have fun sister. Try not to burn Jabariland down while you are there,” he winked. 

“Too soon, brother… too soon,” she chuckled before waving them goodbye as the Talon ramp closed and the plane sped off. 

****  
“M’Baku! It was foolish to think you could redecorate your quarters in three days,” N’Danna reminded him as the man rearranged furniture and put new things he got at the market out. “I thought she had been here once, I am sure she likes it just fine.” 

M’Baku scoffed, “I do not want her to like it. I want her to want to live in it. I spoke to T’Challa to learn a bit more about her, things she liked. I picked up a few things from being in her office but he gave me some other ideas. I commissioned two new paintings from her favorite artist but those won’t be here until her next visit, Olabisi was able to make her flowers again,” he pointed to the red-orange tipped roses on the bedside table, “I put them on this side of the bed because… well, does liking sunsets mean you also like the sunrise? I have only slept with her twice so who knows if she is a morning person. Oh but T’Challa said she really doesn’t need much sleep so… Oh look at these… I just got them carved.” 

He rushed to the bag by the door and pulled out a box that contained wooden panthers and rhinos. He laid them on the coffee table in his lounge area, excitedly looking from them to N’Danna like a child showing off a new toy. 

“You have been inside the mind of a woman, you think she will like them?” 

“Relax brother. She will love all of it, they are… cute.” 

M’Baku nodded, taking some of his older carvings down and sliding the animals into their place, putting one by her side of his bed. Just as he was examining the room, looking for another thing to move or switch out to expel his nervous energy, Kide popped his head in. 

“The Talon is approaching, my Lord. About 5 minutes out.” 

M’Baku nodded, rubbing his hands together nervously. He nodded at N’Danna to walk with him toward the landing outside the Lodge. 

“Oh N’Danna, I need one more favor.” 

N’Danna rolled his eyes before they bugged out of his head, his chief’s passing thoughts cueing him into the favor before the words left his mouth. “A-are you serious? M’Baku? So soon?” 

M’Baku sighed, it didn’t feel too soon to him. “I have known since the moment I first spoke to her. I do not need to see anything else. I-I do not need anymore time. And I don’t think she does either.” 

N’Danna stood and pulled the man into an embrace. “Congrats. I will get everything squared away for you. Don’t worry about a thing. Just spend time with your girl.” 

The two men shook hands before N’Danna took off in the opposite direction and M’Baku headed to greet Asha. 

This time when Asha stepped off the plane and into the fresh snow of Jabariland, it felt totally different. She was still nervous but not in the anxiety sort of way. It was nervous excitement filling her belly. She didn’t have to wait long before M’Baku rushed forward and swept her into a tight hug. 

“I have missed you.” 

“I missed you too,” she whispered, kissing his lips. 

Their hands joined, her fear of burning him long gone and almost forgotten. She felt sort of out of place as she walked, soldiers saluting her and M’Baku as they strolled through the Lodge. 

“I hope you do not mind but I was hoping you would stay in my quarters this trip. But I had your room from your last visit set up for you, should that make you more comfortable.” 

Asha smiled, appreciative of the sweet but unnecessary gesture. Where ever he was, that’s where she wanted to be. 

“Your quarters are perfect, thank you.” 

And thus started, what Asha could only describe as three magical days with the love of her life. M’Baku spent half of the day working, during which a guard would take Asha down to the market. She spent most of her time chatting with Olabisi, who told her thrilling tales of the Jabari and The Chosen, stories Asha imagined she would have read in that book, had she ever gotten past the first page. She explained all the different powers the Chosen in the tribe had now: flight, chlorokinesis, elemental control like Asha, mind reading, telepathy, invisibility… they were as diverse as they were powerful. She offered book recommendations for Asha, which she immediately went and found in the Lodge’s library. 

After, she just roamed the market, under the watchful eye of one of M’Baku’s guards. She stopped at every merchant asking them every question she could think of about their work and life in Jabariland. She sat and watched the wood makers carve Jabari wood and knobkerries. Every day she met someone new, learned something new, and basked in the beauty of Wakanda’s most plentiful resource: her people. This is what she knew she was missing her whole life. This was her freedom, to be among her people. No one was afraid of her here, no one cared about her powers. She watched all day as Chosen used their powers to help get things done faster and more efficiently, assistance that was not only accepted but appreciated. Asha thought back to her conversation with her brother, about potentially living here permanently. And she knew, in her heart, she could… that she wanted to. Jabariland was starting to feel more like home than the Golden City ever had. 

After leaving the market and shops, she would meet M’Baku for a late lunch and then he would take her to his favorite spots around the Lodge and mountains. They would hike each evening, catching the sunset at a spot, Asha giddy like a child at every single one. Her third night, he even had a picnic set up waiting for her at the end of their hike. 

“How was the market today?” M’Baku asked as they walked back to his bedroom after returning from their hike. 

“Amazing as always. I met this man, he said he has been carving Jabari wood since he was 10. He made the cutest rhino figurine for me - I am going to give it to Okoye. He was so nice and just told me about all the different things he carves and all the Jabari symbols, what they mean. Oh I met the Chief Fisherman and his husband at their shop. They were so sweet, told me all about their daughter who, apparently, wants to be an engineer like Shuri. I will have to tell her, maybe on my next visit she can come and meet her? Do you think she would like that? I think Shuri would be really excited.” 

M’Baku smiled brightly, listening to her go on and on about the Jabari, all stories he already knew as Chief but there was something about hearing her say it. The excitement and passion for the people she was meeting… she sounded like she born for the title of Queen of Jabariland.

“What? Am I rambling? I am rambling, aren’t I?” She asked as she noted the look on his face. 

“No, no not at all. I just like seeing you like this. So excited about the people here.” 

“Well, the Jabari are the first Wakandans I have had a conversation for longer than five minutes with. To be among the people, learn their names and their stories? There is nothing better. I didn’t realize how much I was missing, how much joy it brings. Thank you,” she stretched her body and kissed him gently on his lips. 

In lieu of responding, he just wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her in deeper for a long, passionate kiss. After a few moments, they broke apart, Asha muttering that she wanted to take a shower after such a journey. The hikes still didn’t seem to bother M’Baku, but Asha always felt like she had endured a rigorous workout afterward.

M’Baku shook his head slightly. He understood and respected her desire to go slow. But that wasn’t making it any easier. He wanted her so badly it hurt. But he wanted her to be ready. 

After her shower, Asha stood in his mirror, giving herself a pep talk as she examined the dark red lace lingerie on her slender frame in the mirror. Though there was always something she could find wrong, aside from the blemishes she could not get rid of in 5 minutes, even she could admit that she looked good… sexy even. She whispered confident words to herself before opening the bathroom door. His back was to her as he stood, looking out his window. Her walk faltered for a minute, her confidence fading fast as she realized she would have to actually get his attention. 

He wants you. You want him. You can do this.

“M’Baku,” she whispered. He turned around slightly at the sound of his name, doing a double take as he realized what exactly covered her beautiful frame. 

“Usana,” he breathed quietly as she had literally stolen his breath and ability to speak. He had never been rendered speechless by a woman before, usually he had that effect on them. But here his goddess stood, more beautiful than anything he had seen on this Earth. His eyes studied the smooth brown skin peeking through the triangle cut outs of her bra and panty set, studied her so closely as if he had to commit her to memory. 

“You like it, my love?” She teased, his inability to form words fueling her confidence as she walked toward him, her fingers trailing up his biceps once she was in arm’s length of him. 

“Who wouldn’t? You are a vision, sithandwa sam” He whispered back before gently grabbing the back of her thighs and hoisting her up. Her legs instinctively wrapped around his midsection as he carried her to his bed. She quickly found herself laying on her back among the mountain of soft white furs covering his bed. He stared down at her for a moment, soaking in her beauty. This is how he always wanted to see her… wild and unreserved. 

He leaned over and kissed her deeply before creating a path of kisses down her body. Her body and mind knew his end destination, her quiet squirms begged him to make the journey there faster. But he didn’t care, he wanted to take his time… watch her come undone piece by piece. His mouth explored her soft, supple skin, kissing or gently biting every available and exposed inch. Soft moans escaped her lips, a sensual symphony to his ears. 

“M’Baku, please,” she begged as he placed soft kisses everywhere but where she needed it most. Asha’s eyes clenched shut in anticipation and her hands gripped the furs on his bed as his lips finally reached the promise land of her sensitive bud. Her back arched slightly as he sucked on her clit, sending shockwaves through her body. His thick finger entered her, curling immediately into her g-spot, increasing her pleasure tenfold. 

“Fuck… M’B-Baku… don’t stop, please,” she begged. Unnecessary words because stopping was the furthest thing from his mind. He was doing Hanuman’s work, pouring all the love and adoration she missed out on in her life into her, showing her what it meant to be worshipped and adored as she deserved. He had no intention of stopping that important work. Hell, he could do this all night. 

Asha’s eyes clenched shut as she rode the waves of passion and pure ecstasy his mouth and hands were providing. His eyes never left her face as he devoured what was now his favorite meal, each moan, groan, and plead for mercy or more spurring him on. Her thighs clamped around his head as he pushed her farther up the mountain of desire. He inserted a second finger in her as she grew louder, signaling that her orgasm was near. 

It didn’t take long of his expert ministrations for Asha to feel that snap that led to the most life-altering orgasm of her life, years of self-pleasure paled in comparison. She let out a continuous stream of praise and curse words as she road the waves of bliss. 

“That’s it, come for me my queen. Hanuman, you are beautiful.” 

He emerged from between her legs, immediately kissing her deeply. The smell of smoke caught both of their attention at the same time, pulling them out of their own little world of pleasure and passion to find smoke rising from the comforter. A large black patch of burnt fur now staining his white fur blanket. Asha quickly removed the smoke from the air before hitting herself in the forehead, embarrassment and frustration quickly sliding onto her face. 

“I am so sorry, M’Baku! Ugh, I h-have never done this, especially without the rings. I-I didn’t know that would-“ He captured her lips to shut her up, laughing lightly. 

“It is just a blanket, my love. I have five more just like it in the closet. And if we burn all of those, I can get fifty more made. Take a deep breath. I do not care about that.”

She nodded, laughing lightly before recapturing his lips. There he was again, pulling her back from the cliffs just as she was about to tumble down with such ease and care. Her anxieties and frustrations melted away as he kissed her, her hands drifting down toward his pants, preparing to pull them down.

“Are you sure? We don’t have to do this.” 

His breathy whispers in her ear made her want him even more, despite the content of his words. 

“I want you. I want this.” She offered him an encouraging smile before he stood up and pulled his pants and boxers off. Her voice hitched and eyes widened as she took him in. He was more than she could have ever imagined… in every way. The bed dipped as he climbed back on top of her. Every second felt like cruel and unusual punishment as she waited, every pleasure sensor in her body begging and pleading to be catered to. 

She gasped as he pushed into her, her body wholly unaccustomed to being stretched this much before. It was painful, as she expected, but she could already feel the pleasure brewing underneath… the pleasure that made getting passed this uncomfortable part worth it. He kissed her softly and whispered sweet nothings into her ears as he slowly slid into her. She was thankful he was a thoughtful and gentle lover, her mind briefing thinking about the bullet she dodged with Hasani, who wouldn’t have cared how painful the experience was for her. 

It didn’t take long for the pain to quickly fade into earth shattering, mind-blowing pleasure as M’Baku started his slow and steady strokes into her. His dick curved right into her g-spot, forcing moans and words of love and adoration at the end of every stroke.

“How does it feel, my queen?” 

“F-fuck, M’Baku,” she panted as he rocked into her, slowing picking up the pace as her moans grew louder and her orgasm approached. “Feels… so.. g-good. D-don’t stop.” 

M’Baku’s never-ending stamina meant that stopping wasn’t in the cards for him anytime soon. Through orgasm after orgasm, the couple spent the evening completely enthralled in passionate love-making. His quarters soaked up the screams and moans of the princess of Wakanda as they transitioned between positions and he took her to places she never knew possible. She lost track of the orgasms he pulled from the depths of her soul throughout the night. She was completely spent by the time M’Baku came and rolled off her. 

She shifted to her side lazily to watch him walk to the bathroom, eyes half closed. “How are you not exhausted?” 

“The might of the Jabari,” he called from the bathroom. When he returned, he sat down next to her and cleaned her up with a warm wet towel before climbing into bed. She shifted to lay on his chest, listening to his heartbeat as they fell asleep in each other’s arms. 

***  
“My princess?” 

Asha looked up from her spot curled up in an oversized arm chair in the library to find Kide looking at her. After last night, she didn’t really have the energy to walk around the market today and M’Baku had a long day of meeting so she opted to stay in the library and snuggle up by the window to read. 

“Asha will do just fine,” she reminded the young guard as she slide her bookmark in place. 

“Asha, Lord M’Baku has asked that I escort you to your spot on the west mountains. He will meet you there. The carriage is waiting outside.” 

Asha’s nose wrinkled at the break in their tradition of hiking to the various spots together but she let go of it rather quickly. She imagined that the only reason he would break their tradition was for some sort of surprise. And while she had no earthly idea what it could be, she certainly didn’t want to ruin it by messing up his plans. 

She followed Kide outside, one foot in the carriage before an idea struck her. 

“Kide?” 

“Yes?” 

“C-could we maybe get there a different way?” 

Kide’s eyes widened before a smile graced his face. “Are you sure?” 

“Well, the last time I tried it… I almost died? So I figure I could use the practice?” 

She wasn’t sure if her black jumpsuit, while insanely cute, was functional for flying. But she decided not to let that stop her. She looked up to find Kide already circling her head, waiting for her. 

I can do this. I can do this. She chanted before pushing off of the ground. She wobbled a bit before finding her balance and propelling herself higher into the sky next to him. The cold air whipped against her face as she flew behind Kide, slightly lower than him, around the mountains. She looked down and she could see everyone walking around below them, the occasionally hand pointed up or waving at them as they flew past. 

The higher they climbed up the side of the mountain, the more her eyes watered. However, she continued to push forward. She followed close behind Kide, circling the clearing she knew too well before diving behind him to land. The first thing she heard was applause when her feet touched the white snow. She turned to find M’Baku sitting on a rock, waiting for her, a bright smile on his face. 

“Thank you, Kide.” 

“Any time, my princess.” He turned and walked back to the guards waiting on the snow-covered road by the carriage. She turned her attention to M’Baku, noting the nervous look in his eyes, the way his hands fidgeted with his fur collar. 

He didn’t say anything as he approached her, holding out his hand. She immediately placed her small one into his. They stared out at the horizon, the sky starting to fill with the oranges and yellows of sunset. 

“Asha…” 

She quickly turned her attention back to him, facing him as their fingers interlocked. 

“I-I had this whole speech written out b-but seeing you here… I just… I am in love with you, Asha Udaka. My love for you has only grown stronger and deeper since the moment you walked into my throne room filled with grief and pain. And since then, I have witnessed you step into your power, into who you are and demand acceptance from the people who would deny you with the power and grace of a Queen. I don’t know what Hanuman has for my future but I know I want you in it… I need you in it. I don’t need anymore time to know you are the love of my life. We have proven that our love can melt away even the toughest of hardships, that this… w-what we share is unlike anything else in this world. And I know you will make a beautiful and compassionate Queen. And so…”

Asha expelled a shaky breath as M’Baku spoke. She had a feeling she knew where this was heading but she wouldn’t dare let herself believe it until he said the words. She watched as he pulled two wooden bands out of his pocket. The tears streaming down her face obscured her vision slightly but she knew exactly what those meant. Her mind called back to one of the many books she had read over the last few days, one detailing the engagement tradition of the Jabari. The dark brown wooden bracelet was the standard tribe engagement band, engraved with Jabari symbols that represented the future they would build together. But the gold one, reserved only for the tribe’s chieftess, carried a small inscription chosen by M’Baku. 

“Will you marry me?” 

“Y-yes, yes! 100 times yes,” she whispered immediately. She didn’t need to think about it, didn’t need more time. Her love for M’Baku… she knew nothing like it in this world. And here he was, offering her a future she thought she would never get to have. “I love you so much.” 

Her hand shook slightly as he slid the bracelets onto her arm and wrapped his arms around her. He peppered her face with soft kisses as she laughed, pure joy radiating off them. They only stopped when Asha heard cheering from around them. 

“What is th-“ she turned to find all the important people in her life emerging from the trees. Shuri was the first to rush toward her, running into her like a small train as she always did. Her crying intensified as she hugged her sister and looked at T’Challa, Nakia, Okoye and all the Dora behind her. 

Shuri released her and T’Challa wrapped her in a tight hug, wiping away the tears that streamed down her face. 

“D-did you all k-know about this?” 

“We may have had an idea or two. Congratulations, Asha. T-this is truly amazing.” 

Asha shared hugs with everyone as they offered her congratulations, before returning to M’Baku’s side. The guards brought out rum from the carriage for the group to toast, passing cups around for each person. 

Asha felt as though her heart was so full it may burst at the seams, her happiness almost overwhelming. 

“Lord M’Baku, if I may? A toast!” T’Challa called out, raising his glass. “To my younger sister, Asha and Lord M’Baku. I don’t know if I have ever met two people more destined for each other than you. We are so happy for you, you both deserve the world and I know you have that and more here. Congratulations and here is to many more sunsets together.” 

Asha’s smile could have lit up all of Jabariland as she listened to her brother. They toasted and drank rum as they watched the sun fall below the horizon together. Asha nestled herself into her fiancé’s side as she looked around at the people she loved and who loved her immensely. Bast was right, Asha’s life was overflowing with love and her future with hope. She couldn’t wait to spend every moment of it surrounded by M’Baku, T’Challa, Shuri, Nakia and Okoye… the people she loved most in this whole world. Their journey had been long and rugged, but every step brought her to this summit. And it was worth it.


End file.
